Keep New York Gun Ban
In the light of the New York legislature's recent passage of draconian laws to further restrict and criminalize the ownership and possession of certain firearms and magazines, and the attempt to force gun owners to purchase $1 million in liability insurance, the following is an open letter from an interested party:
Open Letter to the Governor and Legislature of New York State:
I wanna thank the Governor and legislators of the great State of New York for standing up to them gun nuts in the NRA et al by banning more guns, limiting the capacity of them guns, and making it impossible for most private citizens to own any because of the insurance cost. The members of this organization are in favor of any and all attempts to ban guns from the hands of private citizens. Them things are too dangerous for ordinary folks. They also present an unnecessary occupational hazard to our members.
It's tough enough to find safe working conditions nowadays, what with all them states passing concealed carry laws. There are enough hazards in our profession without adding armed citizens. That's one less thing for our boys to worry about as they ply their trade. Your courageous stand gives our members peace of mind, if you know what I mean. Cuts down on medical expenses too.
To show our appreciation, our members have voted to move our headquarters to your fair state and to encourage as many of the boys as possible to transfer there. (Of course, the boys in Chicago are reluctant to move because of the favorable conditions there, but they appreciate your trying to entice them anyhow.) Ain't too many places considerate enough to give people like us increased opportunity with good growth potential.
And not to worry. You don't interfere with our racket, we don't interfere with yours.
Three Fingered Louie
Criminals for Gun Control