"[H]onesty will be found on every experiment, to be the best and only true policy; let us then as a Nation be just." --George Washington
"A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take away everything you have." --President Gerald Ford
"Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry." --Henry Ward Beecher
"The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums." --G. K. Chesterton
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many -- not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." --Charles Dickens
"We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex -- but Congress can." --Cullen Hightower
"In the past, the Kings of Pork were mainly Democrats. ... Today, the leading pork spenders are Republicans. ... Republicans promised to cut wasteful spending when they were elected to the majority in 1994. But today they hardly seem embarrassed by the record levels of pork." --Chris Edwards
"Washington Republicans may not care much about limiting spending or restraining the growth of government, but the people who hired them and sent them here do." --David Keene
"It is possible that political history will show, in time, that those who worried about spending in 2005 were dinosaurs. If we are, we are. But we shouldn't become extinct without a roar." --Peggy Noonan
"Among the pictures from New Orleans were lots of heart-rending shots of displaced mothers and children, but few of fathers and husbands. Liberal critics say Hurricane Katrina ripped aside the veil on America's extreme poverty. What it really ripped aside was the veil over the collapse of family, particularly among inner-city blacks, that lies at the heart of poverty." --Thomas Bray
"[A]s a political slogan, compassionate conservatism was always a low blow. Almost by definition, people who claim to be compassionate conservatives are suggesting that other kinds of conservatives aren't. Conservatism, rightly understood, never needed the adjective." --Jonah Goldberg
"Conservatism is not an ideology, it is a way of life. That way of life needs to be grounded in local traditions and in preserving and, where necessary, restoring those traditions." --Paul M. Weyrich
"There's such a broad ignorance or contempt for constitutional principles among the American people that any politician who bore truth faith and allegiance to the Constitution would commit political suicide." --Walter Williams
"The media have pushed the idea that the demonstration this weekend at the White House was an 'anti-war' gathering. What they didn't say was who was behind it. ... For the record, the lead organizer [was] ANSWER, which the media routinely refer to as an 'antiwar group.' It is nothing of the sort. In fact, ANSWER is a front group for the Stalinist Workers World Party. And any group that qualifies for that epithet in front of its name deserves special scrutiny, since Josef Stalin was responsible for the murder of as many as 25 million human beings. ... So why do communists -- particularly those who march under Stalin's flag -- get different treatment? And why do thousands of average people feel comfortable marching arm in arm with them? It's a puzzle. After all, according to the 'Black Book of Communism' -- a widely cited and respected compendium of communism's crimes in the 20th century -- communist regimes murdered as many as 100 million people over the last century. That's quite a record. Indeed, all the century's great mass murders -- Mao Zedong (65 million), Stalin (25 million), Hitler (21 million), Pol Pot (2 million) -- were communists or socialists. Yet many well-meaning people who marched this weekend perhaps didn't know all this. Or perhaps they don't mind having their cause besmirched by people who aren't really anti-war at all, but anti-America, anti-West, anti-freedom and anti-capitalist. ... Maybe it proves the old adage: Lie down with dogs, wake up with fleas." --Investor's Business Daily
Fox Butterfield call your office: "A prison population that took four decades to increase by 11,000 between 1951 and 1991, climbed by 25,000 in the following decade, despite the largest and the most sustained fall in crime for more than a century." --London Guardian **"So a lot of people are in prison, and crime is down -- and the Guardian's recommendation is to let people out of prison!" --James Taranto
We luv publik scools: "The Bush administration -- a strong promoter of private and religious schools -- wants to make it easier for school children displaced by Hurricane Katrina to attend private schools by pushing its pet voucher program. ... What is it about the public school system that this president doesn't like?" --Helen Thomas **For starters, many graduates can't read, write, or spell; they don't know basic arithmetic, Western or even American history, and have no knowledge of English literature. Other than that...
From the Environmentalist Wacko Files: "Then why are there so many hurricanes this year and is global warming to blame? We'll take a closer look at that." --NBC's Matt Lauer
"Are humans partially to blame for all these natural disasters?" --NBC's Katie Couric
Regarding the redistribution of your income: "The obvious solution is to roll back the tax cuts." --Newsweek's Eleanor Clift, on providing relief to hurricane victims
From the "Political Food Fight": "It's lunch money...but if you canceled the tax cuts, you'd get $225 billion." --NPR's Nina Totenberg scorning the $24 billion in "lunch money" that could be moved from transportation bill earmarks to Katrina relief payments
Stuck on Stupid: "To this day no one has proven whether it was what it purported to be or not. ...The story is accurate." --Retired CBS anchorhead Dan Rather still maintaining the charges that President Bush evaded National Guard service are "fake but accurate."
James Taranto's Newspulper Headlines....
Check Russell 317: "Man Who Drove Car Into Lake Still Sought" --Dallas Morning News
In New York, We Call It 'the Sun': "Mysterious 'Ball of Fire' Seen in Fla. Skies" --WKMG-TV Web site (Orlando)
You Don't Say: "Federal Generosity Comes With Price Tag" --St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times
What Would We Do Without Toilet Experts?: "Fresh Approach Urged by Toilet Experts" --London Guardian
Dumb and Dumber: "I cannot vote to confirm, not because I oppose John Roberts, but because we simply do not know enough about his views on critical issues to make a considered judgment." --Sen. Evan Bayh **"How could [Demo] senators complain that they had not learned enough about [John Roberts] when so many of them had wasted their allotted time giving pocket stump speeches?" --Anna Quindlen
We feel your pain: "I am deeply concerned that he and President Bush's next nominee will shift the Supreme Court close to the extreme Right for many years to come." --Sen. Mark Dayton
Who's benefit?: "It's going to cause us to think again about how we invest in this great Gulf Coast region and what this river system, which Andrew Jackson saved from the British in 1815, and we have not done a very good job of saving it for ourselves since then. So we've got to get back to the basics of investing in the Gulf Coast region for the benefit of the nation." --Sen. Mary Landrieu **We think she meant "for the benefit of my reelection bid."
This week's "Periplaneta Americana" Award: "[T]here's one prevailing improvement in [developing democracies] compared to ours, and that is almost invariably around the world, there's a bipartisan or nonpartisan central election commission that sets uniform standards for voting all over the country. As you know, in our nation, we still have secretaries of state and also campaign managers and we have other abuses of the system that's not nonpartisan." --Jimmy Carter, who don't know no better than to use a double negative
We're still laughing: "Somebody had to save the party." --Howard Dean on his role as "savior" of the Democrat party
Race bait: "George Bush is our Bull Connor." --Harlem Rep. Charles Rangel, comparing President Bush's actions to that of the infamous Theophilus "Bull" Connor -- who in 1963 turned fire hoses and attack dogs on blacks, including Martin Luther King Jr.
Like, you know what I mean?: "We are in a global warming emergency state, and these [hurricanes] are going to become more frequent, more intense. There could be more droughts, dust bowls. You know, it's amazing to hear these facts, I mean, the Andes have no ice caps on the mountains in winter. The glaciers are melting. I mean, for the United States not to be part of the Kyoto treaty is unforgivable." --Barbra Streisand, who apparently doesn't know anything about hurricane history
And the beat goes on... "[We're going to Congress, and we're going to ask them], How many more of other people's children are you willing to sacrifice for the lies? [And we're going to say], Shame on you. Shame on you for giving him the authority to invade Iraq." --One-Woman Anti-War Show, Cindy Sheehan
This week's "Ignarus Perpetuus" Award: "How many more young men and women are you going to send to have their arms and legs blown off. ... Win. What does win mean? Tell me what win means." --Phil Donahue
From the "Global Village": "The foremost responsibility of news sites on the Internet is to serve the people, serve socialism, guide public opinion in the right direction, and uphold the interests of the country and the public good." --Communist Chinese regulations statement banning independent blogging and requiring all Web sites and e-mail distributors to register as officially ChiCom approved "news organizations." **Sounds a little too McCain-Feingold for us!
Armed and polite: "We think people visiting Florida should be aware of this law, and act accordingly. Visitors should be very careful about getting into an aggressive argument with anyone during their stay." --Sarah Brady, chair of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, warning tourists about the new "Stand Your Ground" law in Florida allowing deadly force, without required "duty to retreat," against anyone breaking into a home, car, or workplace.
"I remain skeptical [of John Roberts] based on the following facts: (1) Anita Hill has not stepped forward to accuse Roberts of sexual harassment. (2) The Democrats did not accuse Roberts of having a secret life as a racist. (3) We have no idea what kind of videos he rents. Also, I'm still steamed that Bush has now dashed my dreams of an all-black Supreme Court composed of eight more Clarence Thomases. Incidentally, eight more Clarence Thomases is the only form of human cloning I would ever support." --Ann Coulter
"[Robert] Byrd's considered something of a constitutional scholar by his congressional colleagues. (Mobsters, no doubt, thought Al Capone an expert on criminal justice.)" --Paul Jacob
"Instead of changing the nature of the federal government, the Republican majority in Washington seems to be changing the nature of the Republican Party. The Democrats' approach to government has been Sorosized, the GOP's has been supersized. Some choice." --Mark Steyn
"When Ronald Reagan said that the government was spending money like a drunken sailor, he apologized to the sailors, who were after all spending their own money." --Thomas Sowell
"Rafael Palmiero was put under investigation Monday for lying to Congress last March. He swore he never took steroids and then tested positive for steroids. He was such a convincing liar that both parties are recruiting him to run for Congress." --Argus Hamilton
David Letterman.... "Top Signs Your Kid Is Working With al-Qa'ida": Greets you every day with, "Good morning, infidel"; Spent weekend at mall looking for back-to-school turbans; His paper route includes the mountainous Tora Bora region; Keeps mocking you for only having the one wife; Blind Sheik always coming over to play "Grand Theft Auto" on Xbox; You're getting gas for 12 cents a gallon; He's saving his allowance to buy a camel; Find yourself saying, "No Al Jazeera 'til you finish your homework."
Jay Leno.... We had a huge rain storm here in Los Angeles yesterday. Lightening, thunder -- it's tough living in Beverly Hills when it rains. Nobody from FEMA shows up. You know, I think George Bush doesn't care about rich, white people. .... Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton has announced that she has decided to vote against the nomination of John Roberts for the Supreme Court. She said it was a matter of conscience. And when she explained this to Bill he said, "A matter of what?" .... John Kerry said he was never clear about where John Roberts stood on the issues and for that reason he's not voting for him. That's the same reason Roberts didn't vote for Kerry. .... In an announcement today President Bush said all federal workers should travel less to save fuel. He decided on this in Texas, right before he flew to Colorado then back to Washington to prepare for tomorrow's trip back to Texas. .... Barbra Streisand told Diane Sawyer that we're in a global warming crisis, and we can expect more and more intense storms, droughts and dust bowls. But before they act, weather experts say they're still waiting to hear from Celine Dion.