THE FOUNDATION

“Power always thinks it has a great soul and vast views beyond the comprehension of the weak; and that it is doing God’s service, when it is violating all His laws.” –John Adams

INSIGHT

“It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it.” –Douglas MacArthur

“To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.” –Sun Tzu

“A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.” – Alexander Pope

“Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.” –Voltaire

“…[T]here can be no truly moral choice unless that choice is made in freedom; similarly, there can be no really firmly grounded and consistent defense of freedom unless that defense is rooted in moral principle.” –Murray N. Rothbard

“True eloquence consists in saying all that should be said, and that only.” –La Rochefoucauld

“Every reform movement has a lunatic fringe.” –Theodore Roosevelt

“Justice is that virtue that assigns to every man his due.” –Saint Augustine

“Iron rusts from disuse, stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigors of the mind.” –Leonardo DaVinci

“If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.” –Benjamin Franklin

“He that is proud eats up himself. Pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his own chronicle, and whatever praises itself but in the deed, devours the deed in the praise.” –Shakespeare

“Nothing can harm a good man, either in life or after death.” –Socrates

“I didn’t leave the Democratic Party, the Democratic Party left me.” –Ronald Reagan

UPRIGHT

“Teaching children to disregard their consciences is the surest path to lawlessness.” –Alan Keyes

“For centuries, theologians and philosophers understood that conscience is the anvil of virtue and character. They took it for granted that God places his moral law in the heart, or conscience, of every person.” –Joseph Laconte

“The American Civil Liberties Union…is so committed to ‘diversity,’ abortion rights and gay rights that when one of these causes comes into conflict with free speech, it is free speech that is likely to suffer.” –John Leo

“We need to get money out of government. Only then will money not be important in politics. Campaign finance laws will not make politicians more ethical, but they will make it harder for average Americans to influence Washington.” –Rep. Ron Paul

“Under Shays-Meehan [campaign finance provisions], the authors of the Federalist Papers may have suffered prison time and heavy fines, an irony that underscores the fundamental nature of political speech.” –Phil Kent

“And thus, perhaps, Mr. Clinton’s real military legacy: The wars that might have been avoided, the wars that we must fight, now that he’s gone.” –Philip Gold

“The ‘street’ in any given Arab country consists of 278 state-sanctioned mullahs already preaching death to the Americans and Jews, five state-controlled newspaper opinion columnists preaching ditto, 577,000 state security officers making sure nobody says anything to the contrary, and 73 million people who would very much like to be living in New Jersey.” –Michael Kelly

“Terror isn’t about throwing off oppression, and it never has been. Terror is about the obscene joy to be had in creating chaos.” –Michael Long

“When did a lack of money and accomplishment become a mark of virtue?” –Ann Coulter

“It’s ideology, not poverty, that causes political violence.” –Don Feder

“The mere wealth of America is not what engenders love of country. In fact, the least affluent areas are probably the most patriotic.” –Mona Charen

“The House took a vote on campaign ‘reform.’ The media won.” –Brent Bozell

“Only those in denial reject the proposition of a leftism that dominates the written and visual media alike.” –Ross Mackenzie

EDITORIAL EXEGESIS

“The bottom line is that for every drop of oil extracted from ANWR (Arctic National Wildlife Refuge), one less dollar goes into the pocket of unstable and sometimes tyrannical Middle Eastern regimes.” –Washington Times

DEZINFORMATSIA

“The New York Times is middle-of-the-road. There is no active, aggressive, important publication of the left in America. And so as a consequence The New York Times – when compared to The Wall Street Journal’s editorial page – may be considered to the left of it. But to call The New York Times left-wing is absurd.” –Normal Pearlstine, editor-in-chief of Time-Warner magazines

“Do uniformed personnel need another large across-the-board pay hike, the second broad increase in two years, or could the services meet their needs with more targeted pay raises?” –Washington Post

From the “Garbage In – Garbage Out” Department: “In a strange way do you have Enron to thank for not only guaranteeing you no presidential veto, but also nulling Republican opposition?” –Bryant Gumbel to campaign finance “reformer” Rep. Marty Meehan (D-Taxachusetts).

“Like the hero of a paperback thriller, campaign finance reform keeps dodging bullets. …If Shays-Meehan becomes law, it should help clean up the money game. …[T]hat’s a noble fate for a bill that has been so often given up for dead.” –Time’s Douglas Waller

“Ironically, reformers say embarrassment over the nearly $6 million that Enron lavished on Congress may be what it finally takes to force reform.” –CBS’s Bob Schieffer

“Ironically, it’s the President who stands to gain the most from the bill. In the 2000 primary season, he beat Democrat Al Gore almost three-to-one in the individual contributions the legislation would allow.” –CBS’s John Roberts **“Ironically!”

“The crowds were reportedly much larger than last year because people are upset at President Bush calling Iran part of an ‘axis of evil’.” –Tom Brokaw on an anti-U.S. march in Iran

“Millions of people do not like being referred to as evil.” –Peter Jennings putting words in the President’s mouth regarding the “axis of evil”

“It was the biggest anti-American demonstration there in years. Ruling mullahs and some others said it was sparked by anger over President Bush labeling Iran part of an ‘axis of evil’.” –Dan Rather

SOCIOCRATS

This month’s “Demo-Goguery” Award: “You find that the two years, anyway, before you’re up for election you’re gone constantly on the weekends instead of doing what you’re elected to do and that’s being a good United States Senator.” –Ted Kennedy **If Teddy is for campaign finance reform, it must be good for all of us!

“If it fails, there’ll be more scandals because there’s too much money washing around making good people do bad things.” –John McCain

“Hillary Clinton said that she and Bill were enjoying decorating their new homes in Washington and New York to their own taste.” –Associated Press on marriage-as-usual in the Clinton household. **Regarding the Clinton’s “taste” [censored by The Federalist Editor for Standards and Practices.] You will have to add your own joke here!

From the “Commissars of Correctness” Files: The Libertarian Party sent us this sampler of some of the silliest laws on the books: Fairbanks, Alaska, bans moose couples from coupling on city sidewalks. Los Angeles has a similar law making dogs lawbreakers for mating within 500 feet of a church. Cleveland women may not legally wear patent leather shoes, while Blythe, California, men may not wear cowboy boots unless they own at least two head of cattle, and Nogales, Arizona, men may not wear suspenders. And in Iowa no kiss may last longer than five minutes.

VILLAGE IDIOTS

This week’s “HomoPromo” Award: “They have tried this so many times, that it is a dead horse issue as far as Disney is concerned. No one else cares, but evidently they do. …I really think they ought to show it [the video], and if a shareholder wants to watch it, let them watch it. It doesn’t matter. There is nothing that goes on in the park that anyone can object to, and as a shareholder, the fact that people spent money while they were there is more important than any other issue.” –Doug Swallow (that is really his name), founder of “Gay Day” at Disney World, on plans by Christian Action Network to show Disney stockholders a video from “Gay Day” 2001, which CAN describes as containing both objectionable and obscene homosexual acts. **For the record, indeed it does.

From the “Plumbing Disorientation” Department: The national chapter of the United States Students Association is calling for university restrooms for “transgendered persons.” According to Kristy Ringor, spokeswoman for the USSA [not necessarily to be confused with the USSR]: “We’re the nation’s oldest student association, and we believe access to education should be open to all, regardless of gender, ethnicity or sexual identity. …[Transgender people] have a problem with bathrooms … [specified only for men or women.] … If a person is not safe [in college restrooms], that person won’t necessarily be able to go to college.”

From the “Village Academic Curriculum” File: University of California, Berkeley, administrators Friday suspended a male sexuality class after receiving credible allegations that a class “extracurricular” party resulted in an orgy, and one class final project involved visiting a homosexual strip club and watching the course instructor engage in sexual relations. Other courses from Berkeley’s “democratic education” course list include “Blackjack,” in which students learn gambling techniques, and “Copwatch,” instructing students “how to safely and effectively assert their rights when interacting with police.”

SHORT CUTS

“To what can the orgasmic sound of Congress protecting itself from the sin of tainted campaign contributions be compared? It’s like the owner of a house of ill repute who, during a raid by the vice squad, demonstrates her commitment to civic virtue by firing the piano player.” –Cal Thomas

“Campaign finance reform is a delusion, as likely to reform American politics as the Boy Scout’s oath is likely to reform Osama bin Ladin.” –R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr.

“Today is Presidents’ Day./ We salute them each in our way./ While some get a cheer,/ There’s others I fear/ Worth only a boo or a bray.” –Lyn Nofziger

“Colin Powell takes a backseat to no one when it comes to abstinence and abstinence education.” –Ari Fleischer Freudian slipping in attempting to put political cover over the Secretary of State’s endorsement of condom use over abstinence.

“Powell Doctrine: ‘You’ll need power without peer/ And objectives that are clear,/ Plus clever tactics/ – And prophylactics!’/ Said Powell with a leer.” –F.R. Duplantier

“Secretaries of state usually don’t concern themselves with big problems, like condoms. [Powell] might wish he had punted this one to his pal Donald Rumsfeld. Virgins and how to protect them should more properly be the concern of the secretary of defense.” –Wesley Pruden

“Researchers in Texas have cloned a cat. Wait, is it legal to clone a cat? Or is this a copycat crime?” –OpinionJournal.com

Jay Leno…. Welcome to the “Tonight” show on NBC – NBC of course stands for “Nothing But Costas”! Did you see the Olympic short-track skating? The Australian won after everyone else fell down. They interviewed some of the racers and no one knew why they fell down – uhhh, maybe because you’re on ice! I haven’t seen that many people fall in a competition since a Don King fight! Bob Costas says he loves Salt Lake City, he loves the Olympics and all the sports, that it’s like Disneyland to him. Sure he loves Salt Lake City, he doesn’t have to be tall enough for any rides. More and more coming out about Utah during the games. There was a surprise in curling today – people watched! Curling is like the Al Gore of sports. Utah is the Jell-O capital of the world. More people eat Jell-O in Utah than anywhere else. See, in Utah they eat it, which is much different than in L.A., where people wrestle in it.

David Letterman…. Today was Presidents Day – or, as Al Gore would say, “Monday”! …. The Winter Olympics are going on! There’s so many events scheduled for this weekend that they had to bring in five additional crooked judges! Don’t you just miss the old days when skaters would just whack each other with pipes? Some people are upset because many of the events are taped. I’m not one to complain about pre-recorded broadcasts – right now I’m at home asleep. …. The big Westminster Dog Show was this week. There was a controversy when an Afghan hound was disqualified because of ties with the Taliban.

Argus Hamilton…. President Bush vowed…to keep his military options open with regard to Iraq. No one wondered what he meant. Whenever President Clinton vowed to keep his options open the day before Valentine’s Day no one wondered what he meant either. …. President Bush drew worldwide attention … when he called Iran, Iraq and North Korea the Axis of Evil. It’s just not fair. It ruins the good name of Hitler that Mel Brooks has spent years and years restoring to commercial value. …. Canada was awarded a second gold medal for Olympic pairs skating Friday due to vote-trading between French and Russian judges. It’s a good thing they got caught. Vote-trading between the French and the Russians was Iraq’s last hope in the UN Security Council. …. The New York Times said Ken Lay sold $20 million in Enron stock immediately after Sherron Watkins warned him in August the company might collapse. Life isn’t always fair. He must feel terrible knowing that he missed a pardon by one president. …. Senator Mitch McConnell said Monday he has the votes to block the campaign finance reform bill. This man is fearless. He’s gambling that with media heat on Slobodan Milosevic and Osama bin Laden this week, he can defend the Constitution and live to tell the tale. …. Al Gore issued a statement Thursday saying he backs President Bush’s attacks on terrorism and will support the war any way he can. That is, short of shaving. If his beard gets any longer, people are going to start calling him Al Gore-Zeera. …. Iran-Contra figure John Poindexter will chair a Pentagon group on terrorism. That scandal has gotten blurry. Most people today think Ronald Reagan tried to cure AIDS in Nicaragua and Oliver North was just trying to raise money for the Contraceptives.