Quote of the week…

“Before we bind ourselves by laws, we are driven by instincts and reflexes. Foremost among these is the instinct to survive. Members of the Taliban and al Qaeda openly threaten to use any and all means to terminate our existence. The restraints imposed on them merely reduce the risk to fellow Americans who volunteer to facilitate our survival.” –Balint Vazsonyi

On cross-examination…

“How wicked of the United States not to grant the Taliban captives POW privileges under the Geneva Convention? How about granting human rights to the Cuban people under U.N. Convention? …Chris Patten, a onetime friend of the United States and now external affairs minister of the European Union, expressed his concern that our alleged mistreatment of the al Qaeda mercenaries would mean that we would be ‘losing the moral high ground.’ Lose the moral high ground to whom? Osama bin Laden? Ali Khameini? Fidel Castro? Saddam Hussein? I am sure Donald Rumsfeld isn’t going to be distracted by anti-Americanism posing as high-mindedness.” –Arnold Beichman

The BIG lie…

“None of us knew about the secret government. Not knowing things as basic as that is a pretty profound illustration of the chasm that exists sometimes [between Congress and the Bush administration] with information.” –Senate Demo Leader Tom Daschle

But Secret Service agents now confirm that Sen. Daschle was among those spirited away to safety on 9-11 – to one of those “secret government” locations! What, he’s forgotten already, or was he so scared he lost his memory?

News from the Swamp…

It is a forgone conclusion that there is enough Republican support in the Swamp to win support for the “Incumbent Protection Act” (AKA campaign finance reform). Many of our sources indicate that President Bush will sign the legislation and let the courts sort it out. A gaggle of “conservative” commentators and radio personalities are even joining the political chorus arguing that passage will be good for Republicans, who traditionally do better in “hard money” collections. But passage is NOT good for our Constitution – which should be a deeper concern of anyone advocating passage of this junk legislation. And as we have noted previously, Mr. Bush declared his intent to veto so-called “campaign finance reform” last year. Will this be Bush(43)‘s first “read my lips” reversal of a promise to the people, in order to indulge elite calls for bipartisan comity?

Memo now in triplicate to Mr. Bush: Two wrongs don’t make a right … nor do they make an excuse. And they certainly don’t make a “smart” political move! Call a press conference at the National Archives, read the First Amendment to our Constitution and then ceremoniously dispose of this “Incumbent Protection act” – as you promised you would do in January!

Elsewhere in the Executive Branch, another federal judge this week ordered release of records and information related to Vice President Dick Cheney’s Energy Task Force meetings with outsiders. We think The Federalist’s original advice: Take the high moral ground, Mr. Cheney, and get the information out!

Mr. Bush also met Wednesday with appellate court nominee Judge Charles W. Pickering, in a show of support to oppose the merciless “borking” Leftist groups are lodging against the good judge. Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee delayed Thursday’s scheduled vote a week, to counter the baseless accusations, with Sen. Orrin Hatch decrying the “extreme Left Washington special interest groups … lynching” Judge Pickering. “They want activists on the bench who support their views, regardless of the law,” Hatch said.

In the House of Lords, Senate Demo Leader Tom Daschle and company are taking well-deserved heat for their recent criticisms of President Bush’s conduct of the war against Jihadistan. “I think that on occasion it is important for us to speak with one voice in support of our troop efforts, and we’re looking for an opportunity to do that,” Mr. Daschle said this week in announcing efforts for a Senate resolution supportive of Mr. Bush.

Commentator Tony Blankley blistered Dashcle’s mild-mannered stiletto-ing of Bush administration war efforts: “Mr. Daschle’s self-selected role in political life is to be a semi-colon interposed in the president’s simple declarative sentence; not quite a full stop, merely a partial blockage in the flow of events. If he weren’t so modest, he would be dangerous. He could have aspired to be an exclamation point.”

And in an indication that the “Nanny State” is alive and well…. Lobbyists visited the Hill this week on behalf of the “Elder Fall Prevention Act,” which would “expand and intensify programs with respect to research and related activities concerning elder falls.” Hey, we were really just kidding a couple years back when we said if Congress thought they could get away with it, they would repeal the law of gravity!

And speaking of “cradle to grave” politics, in the wake of the much-publicized dumping of bodies that should have been cremated at a site in Georgia, Louisiana Demo Sen. John Breaux, chairman of the Senate Special Committee on Aging, is mulling over hearings about whether federal law should cover increased disclosure of funeral practices and requirements that independent observers be present at cremations: “We must ensure that the 'death care’ industry delivers on its promises.”

Though two senior editors at The Federalist have identified deceased family members in this case, we remain adamant the Constitution does not say a word about “death care.”

Judicial Benchmarks…

In the halls of justice on the right, U.S. District Court Judge Royce C. Lamberth struck down the Army’s officer promotion policy, noting that it urges the Army promotion boards to consider past and personal discrimination against women and minorities but not similar discrimination against white men. “This undeniably establishes a preference in favor of one race or gender over another, and therefore is unconstitutional,” Judge Lamberth declared in his ruling. It’s that “equal protection” thing!

From the Left…

In a final report from the “Clinton Presidue” files, we are shocked – SHOCKED – to report that Independent Counsel Robert Ray says he had “sufficient evidence to prosecute President Clinton for violating federal criminal laws” against perjury…but exercised his “judgment” to not go forward with the case by accepting Mr. Clinton’s last-minute admission of untruthful testimony and temporary suspension of his law license.

The Commissars…

Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta is up to his old Democratic dirty tricks – and would rather have air travelers dead than alive – as he would rather be politically correct than effectively protect American lives! Secretary Mineta said this week, “I don’t feel that we should have lethal weapons in the cockpit. I believe that stun guns or tasers, as they’re referred to, can be a possibility.” And Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge agreed, “I don’t think we want to equip our pilots with firearms. That doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.” A survey last month found that 73 percent of the members of the Air Line Pilots Association (ALPA) supported “authorization of pilots who volunteer to be armed with firearms for defense of the flight deck.” And we can assure you that Mineta and Ridge always travel with taxpayer-funded armed security – including the cockpits of their government aircraft!

Regarding the redistribution of your income…

The links page for “youth resources” on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Web site includes a link to the Coalition for Positive Sexuality, which calls itself a “guerrilla sex education” group. From the site: “If you think you might be queer, relax! If you think you are queer, try to find a lesbian/bisexual/gay/transgender community center near you, where you can meet other queers your age.”

From the department of military readiness/correctness…

The Defense Department Monday settled on the “reconstitution” of the 34-member, 51-year-old Defense Advisory Committee on Women in the Services (DACOWITS) into a true “advisory” body, as Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld approved a new charter, with significant changes for the group’s membership, staff and procedures. DACOWITS will henceforward report on “specified matters” the secretary tasks the committee with, with a greater focus on readiness than such feminist “hot buttons” as women in combat. (Off to a fine start, the 22 Clintonista leftovers on the committee were fired.)

From the states…

The Federalist offers hearty congratulations to Bill Simon, who defeated consummate RINO Dick Riordan in Tuesday’s California gubernatorial primary. “The journey that we began to renew the California dream continues. And not for another eight months but after that, another eight years,” said a jubilant Simon, on being tapped by Golden State GOPers as their hope for recapturing top of the state ticket.

Establishment Republicans, including even Team Bush political operatives who ought to know better, had pushed Riordan’s candidacy, thinking he could shout, “Leftward Ho!” and pick up lots of votes from women and minorities. One indicator of how foolish this is: Riordan’s wife, a Democrat, did not even vote for him! The problem of Republicans recently losing in California races is not the conservatives – it’s that resounding silence from nobody defending conservatism as inherently compassionate. Identifying the real problem, Simon says, “The Democrats have tried to divide us. They say that California is a one-party state. But as Mark Twain once said, the rumors of the demise of the California GOP are greatly exaggerated. …Our party comes out of this strong campaign ready to do battle across the board and with our eyes fixed on the future.”

Gov. Gray Davis, in opening salvos against Simon, said, “I believe many of his ideas are out of step and out of touch with most Californians. We need to keep moving California forward, not backward and certainly not to the right.”

Memo to Gov. Davis: The opposite of Right is not only Left – but also wrong! And California most certainly does need to move once more in the right direction!

We hope Mr. Bush will not leave Simon hanging like he did the fine conservative New Jersey gubernatorial candidate Bret Schundler, and he needs to begin campaigning NOW! (Somebody get Dr. Laura on the line – we need a new book, “Ten Stupid Things Republicans Do To Mess Up Their Electoral Chances.”)

In economic news…

Much to the dismay of posturing Sociocrats, who were banking their political prospects on the poor economy, Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan said the recovery is already underway, and the Congressional Budget Office now estimates the federal budget will run surpluses and not projected deficits in 2002 and 2003 – unless, of course, those bloody terrorists emerge again!

In business news…

Some sectors of the steel industries are rejoicing this week, as President Bush decided to impose “comparable” duties on steel imports (to obtain comparable political support from union steel workers), saying, “An integral part of our commitment to free trade is our commitment to enforcing trade laws to make sure that America’s industries and workers compete on a level playing field. Free trade should not mean lax enforcement.”

The “Non Compos Mentis” Department…

The “Doomsday Clock” has just been reset – two minutes closer to “nuclear doom” at an estimated symbolic 11:53 pm. Since easing of Cold War fears in 1998, the symbolic clock, kept by the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists at the University of Chicago, had read 11:51. Despite real concerns that Jihadis might use “dirty nukes,” this is all sheer nonsense. “This clock business is a scam,” observes national security analyst Frank Gaffney. “These are people who are completely irrelevant to the process, who have been promoting this publicity scheme for decades. They have consistently advocated prescriptions that are simply wrong.”

Court Jesters…

Convicted sex offender Harvey Taylor plans to sue for loss of digits! Taylor fled into snowy Maine woods rather than be taken into custody by a Penobscot County Sheriff’s detective a few weeks back, and his days and nights there led to frostbite necessitating amputation of some of his toes. Speaking from the hospital bed where he is recovering, Taylor said, “If the detective had done his job, I wouldn’t be in here now. I would have been in jail that very same day.”

Culture Comment…

Award-winning “cartoonist” Ted Rall refused to apologize this week for an editorial cartoon portraying widows of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks as greedy opportunists. One cartoon shows a widow saying of her husband’s death: “I keep waiting for Kevin to come home, but I know he never will. Fortunately, the $3.2 million I collected from the Red Cross keeps me warm at night.” Another panel in reference to the brutal murder of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl has his widow saying: “Of course it’s a bummer that they slashed my husband’s throat – but the worst was having to watch the Olympics alone!”

Yes – editors of many Leftmedia print dailies carried these cartoons.

Faith Matters…

About that “axis of evil” thing, and who really opposes it…. Dr. Norbert Vollertsen, a German physician recently returned from a stint in North Korea, describes the true situation there as being one of “crimes against humanity and genocide” – you know, “evil.” Dr. Vollertsen says persecution of Christians is especially severe, but that the North Korean Christians bear witness by going to their executions singing hymns of praise.

On the frontiers of science…

Sometimes it takes more than a rocket scientist! Pioneer 10, the space probe launched 30 years ago, is being pulled back toward the sun by an unknown constant force about 10 billion times weaker than gravity, puzzling scientists to no end. In June 1983, the craft passed Pluto to exit our solar system. Researcher Philip Laing, involved in tracking the craft, commented, “We have examined every mechanism and theory we can think of, and so far nothing works. If the effect is real, it will have a big impact on cosmology and spacecraft navigation.” British space scientist Duncan Steel added, “It might alter the number of comets that come toward us over millions of years, which would have consequences for life on Earth. It also raises the question of whether we know enough about the law of gravity.” Hey, maybe Congress can pass a “Pioneer Fall Prevention Act”!

On the frontiers of junk science…

A bit of good news! You will recall last year’s “water war” pitting embattled family farmers in the Klamath Basin against eco-nuts supposedly representing the “endangered” suckerfish. This month, the Federal Bureau of Reclamation announced, farmers in the area will begin receiving released water for crop irrigation just in time for the 2002 planting season. Why the policy switch? Not only a better rainfall, but also a National Academy of Sciences report concluding that previous levels set for suckerfish water needs were inflated. Hmmm, do you suppose that huge overestimates of fish water are anything like planting lynx hairs in forests to prevent humans from using these natural resources?

Around the world…

UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan met Thursday with Iraq’s Foreign Minister Naji Sabri, ostensibly to get UN weapons inspectors back into the country. Do not expect real progress out of these meetings!

And, not a moment too soon, the Bush administration is reviewing the involvement of Cuba in international terrorism, and particularly whether the Red Paradise might be capable of launching successful cyberattacks on U.S. military communications.

And last…

We are all so right to trust government, aren’t we! Two quick reasons why: First, members of Congress often hand out to their constituents complimentary calendars printed by the United States Capitol Historical Society and entitled “We the People.” This year’s calendar features 31 days in November. Second, the Postal Service’s catalog for the new “Greetings from America” series of 50 state stamps prints photos of two for New York, while omitting any for New Jersey. Hmmm, let’s see – repealing the law of gravity, adding a day to the year, and expunging New Jersey from the continent! Just in a day’s work for our government!