THE FOUNDATION

“Guard against the postures of pretended patriotism.” –George Washington

INSIGHT

“The love of country is the first virtue in a civilized man.” –Napoleon I

“Patriotism itself is a necessary link in the golden chains of our affections and virtue.” –Stephen Decatur

“I think patriotism is like charity – it begins at home.” –Henry James

“Patriotism is in political life what faith is in religion.” –Lord Acton

“True patriotism sometimes requires of men to act exactly contrary, at one period, to that which it does at another, and the motive which impels them – the desire to do right – is precisely the same.” –Robert E. Lee

“A man may have to die for our country: but no man must, in any exclusive sense, live for his country. He who surrenders himself without reservation to the temporal claims of a nation, or a party, or a class is rendering to Caesar that which, of all things, most emphatically belongs to God: himself.” –C.S. Lewis

“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.” –Thomas Jefferson

“These are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands it NOW deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.” –Thomas Paine

“Patriotism is a lively sense of collective responsibility.” –Richard Aldington

“In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.” –Mark Twain

“The things that the flag stands for were created by the experiences of a great people. Everything that it stands for was written by their lives. The flag is the embodiment, not of sentiment, but of history.” –Woodrow Wilson

“Patriotism is not a short and frenzied outburst of emotion but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.” –Adlai E. Stevenson, Jr.

UPRIGHT

“One can make a distinction between nativism, which is based on resentment, and patriotism, which is based on love. …America desperately needs the love of her citizens, for what she is and for what she might become.” –Dinesh D'Souza

“You want a real miracle? A real miracle is our Founding Fathers.” –Rush Limbaugh

“Most Americans aren’t the sort of citizens the Founding Fathers expected; they are contented serfs. Far from being active critics of government, they assume that its might makes it right.” –Joseph Sobran

“Yet arguing that the words of the Constitution have no fixed meaning is tantamount to arguing that we have no Constitution; a Constitution serves no purpose if the branches of government it is supposed to limit can define their own powers.” –W. James Antle III

“The principles enshrined in the Constitution do not change. If anything, today’s more complex world cries out for the moral clarity provided by a noninterventionist foreign policy.” –Rep. Ron Paul

“Being hated by autocrats is not a bad thing.” –Victor Davis Hanson

“Hatred of Israel offers a convenient cover for hatred of America.” –Suzanne Fields

“An administration that proclaims ‘zero tolerance’ of terrorism while protecting and negotiating with Yasser Arafat already is acquiring a reputation for a certain plasticity of conviction.” –George Will

“The sick strategy of using women and children as suicide bombs demonstrates exactly how much value the tyrants put on a human life, even the human life of their own people.” –Wesley Pruden

“Keep trying diplomacy, but start polishing the weapons.” –Bill O'Reilly

“If pride characterizes many believers in peace-making, cowardice often does as well.” –Rich Lowry

“Americans are a remarkably peaceable people. The cowboy slander notwithstanding, we are slow on the draw.” –Don Feder

“For the average American family, filling out a tax form has become like attacking a puzzle to which, often enough, there is no right answer. But we’re all supposed to swear, on penalty of perjury, that we’ve done our best to find it.” –Paul Greenberg

“As Christ ran the money changers out of the temple so should the Pope run the pederasts and their protectors out of the church.” –Lyn Nofziger

EDITORIAL EXEGESIS

“Early on Friday morning, Colin Powell sat down to breakfast with Ariel Sharon … at the Israeli prime minister’s Jerusalem residence. As they surveyed the spread of freshly baked bread, olives, salad, fruit and sardines … the two former military men chatted. Then out of the blue, as Mr. Powell tucked in, Mr. Sharon handed him a collection of gruesome photographs showing mangled Israeli victims of recent suicide bomb attacks … blamed squarely on the Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat. ‘The Secretary of State could not finish his breakfast,’ said one Israeli official…. An hour later, Mr. Powell was sitting around another table in the residence with a group of ministers representing the parties in Israel’s broad-based coalition government, gathered to present a united and formidable front for the visitor. Effi Eitam, … who had only been a member of the cabinet for a few days, turned to Mr. Powell and said…, ‘You have had seven months in Afghanistan and you have not finished your work. We only want eight weeks for our military operation, so why not let us finish the job?’ David Levy, the … former foreign minister, [said], ‘Sometimes we hear from people in the States that the Israeli prime minister is divided from his people, but I can tell you he was elected by the majority of Israelis and now we are all behind him. The world tells us that Arafat was elected by the Palestinian people and because of that we do not have the right to fight against his terror. Let me remind you that Saddam Hussein was also elected. Does that mean that you cannot fight against Saddam?’” –The Daily Telegraph

DEZINFORMATSIA

From the “Garbage In – Garbage Out” Department: “Is George W. Bush obsessed with Bill Clinton?” –New York Times reporter Elisabeth Bumiller still in the throes of Clinton mania

From “The Devil In The Red Dress” Files: “Ari, will you go on the public record and stand by a statement you made earlier this morning which was that Sharon is a man of peace which some Israelis might not even agree with? Do you stand by that, that he’s a man of peace considering his record?” –Columnist Helen Thomas White House – and we are considering her record….

This week’s “Political Disorientation Disorder” Awards (A Trifecta): “Those on the far right, inside and outside this administration, have been pretty much savaging Powell for the last week. Is he being set up to take the fall for the failures of this administration’s foreign policy?” –Bryant Gumbel attempting to pin blame on conservatives for Colin Powell’s “piece process” shuttling around the Middle East – and still getting nowhere.

“It looks like it’s between the far-right and the unbelievably far-right. I haven’t heard too much moderate. I mean literally, it would be like ‘I’m hungry today.’ ‘Oh, you know what would help that? Drilling in ANWR’.” –“Comedian” Jon Stewart to Judy Woodruff on the division within the GOP

“President Bush today took a hardline, saying all forms of human cloning, even for disease research, should be banned on moral grounds. But some proponents of cloning, in Congress, say that could hamper important scientific research.” –Tom Brokaw on why being morally consistent is “hardline”

SOCIOCRATS

From “The Horse Race Starting Bell” Files – “The Nag”: “Regardless of who the nominee is, we’re going to elect a Democrat for president in 2004…. We put America’s financial house back in order. I don’t care what anybody says. I think Bill Clinton and I did a damn good job…. They have returned us to the days of irresponsible deficit and debt. Did they use [the budget surplus] to build a brighter future for our children? No. They wanted to shovel it out to the wealthiest. Most Americans got peanuts, and they got stuck with the bill. …We’re the party of Tomorrow Land. They’re the party of Fantasy Land. We’re the party of Main Street, U.S.A. They’re the party of the Pirates of Enron.” –Former Vice President Al Gore, looking like a once and future losing presidential candidate

…And “The Dark Horses Bringing Up The Rear”: “[The White House is] racing back to the voodoo economics of the 1980s.” –Sen. John Kerry

“[There is a] total lack of sensible leadership from the Bush administration when it comes to our economy.” –Sen. Joe LIEberman

Just in time for Patriots Day: “Why do these trials have to be here? I do not believe that it is our patriotic duty to support the decision to have them here.” –Alexandria, Virginia, City Councilmember Joyce Woodson questioning the chosen court site for terrorists’ trials.

From the “Historical Revisionist” Files: “We might never have known about the Pentagon Papers … the My Lai massacre….” –Senate Demo Leader Tom Daschle erroneously attributing coverage of those events to the Freedom of Information Act.

This week’s “Non Compos Mentis” Award: “What might have motivated her to make that comment, I don’t know. I hope that it is not true. I would imagine that’s not true. I don’t even want to get … to suggest that this White House had advanced knowledge and might have allowed it to occur. So I have no reason to believe that any of that is true. I hope to see her this week and maybe even inquire about it.” –Tennessee Demo Rep. Harold Ford on his Georgia colleague Cynthia McKinney’s bizarre allegation that Bush(41) had advance knowledge but failed to warn of the 9/11 attacks.

VILLAGE IDIOTS

This week’s “Periplaneta Americana” Award: “The problem with [Speedy] is the references to drinking, laziness, drug use, and womanizing (‘Speedy knows my sister, Speedy knows EVERYBODY’s sister’).” –Daniel Wineman, Cartoon Network Programming Director, on why Speedy Gonzales, the Fastest Mouse in Mexico, has been censored from the air by Cartoon Network (the sole U.S. broadcaster of vintage WarnerBrothers cartoons) as an offensive ethnic stereotype of Mexicans. But what he didn’t say is that Speedy is quite popular – south of the border!

From the “Silence Is Golden” Files: “Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence, a national youth movement protesting the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by harassment, prejudice, and discrimination.” –“Speaking card” for the Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network’s (GLSEN) Day of Silence. **Was one day really enough?

From the “Village Matriarch” Files: “Equal Pay Day.” –Feminists’ designation of April 16th as the day when women’s pay purportedly catches up with men’s this year.

From the “Village Academic Curriculum” File: “[Nudity is essential to the story but] the play is not about nudity. The play is about the indomitability of the human spirit, holding the family together.” –Laurence Ruth, an assistant professor of theater at Kennesaw State University on the “essential” need for full frontal nudity in the school’s rendition of The Grapes of Wrath

SHORT CUTS

“There are only two things necessary in life – WD-40 and duct tape…. WD-40 for things that don’t move that should, and duct tape for things that do move but shouldn’t.” – Attorney General John Ashcroft

“About Robin Hood. He didn’t steal from the rich to give to the poor. He took from the tax collector to give back to those who earned it. George Bush is much more like Robin Hood than Teddy Kennedy.” –Neal Boortz

“The evil ones didn’t know who they were attacking. They thought we would … roll over. They thought we were so materialistic and self-absorbed…. They probably thought we were going to sue them.” –President George W. Bush

“Yasser Arafat is nothing more than Osama bin Laden with good PR.” –Former Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu

“Sometimes a nuance, in the hands of a senator, can be just as deadly as a pound of plastique.” –Wesley Pruden

“After all, this ‘engagement’ was necessary mainly because of a scheduling conflict over scheduling conflicts: Washington had booked the Middle East for a war with Iraq only to discover the joint being used for some other guys’ war. The U.S. would like a semblance of peace in the Middle East in order to launch a massive conflagration there.” –Mark Steyn

“Security Notice: Terrorists, or persons whose luggage has been packed by terrorists, are required to stop reading at this point. Thank You.” –Dave Barry

Jay Leno…. Bill Clinton has spoken out on the situation in the Middle East. He says that the parties involved need to break their old habits – well, if there’s anyone who can change old habits, it’s Bill Clinton! …. The postal service will soon be selling stamps online. Now, I’m no expert, but if you’re going to buy stamps online, why don’t you just use e-mail? …. Garbage trucks in Taiwan are now going to be playing messages in English in hopes that it will teach more of its citizens to speak English. If the plan works, it’ll be tried here in Southern California. …. Bill Clinton was reported as being seen at a restaurant with cast members of the show “The Sopranos.” This worked out well. They gave Clinton tips on acting and he gave them tips on being part of an organized crime family. …. More information is out on the second American Taliban. Turns out the guy is from Louisiana. His name is Ali Billy Baba. Just like any Taliban member, he has four wives, but they all are cousins – that’s how they know he was from Louisiana. …. President Bush has announced a new $280 million plan for getting more volunteers in communities, more firefighters and people like that. My question is if these are volunteers, then what is the $280 million for? …. Mike Wallace says he is going to spend less time with the CBS show “60 Minutes.” The reason, he says, is so he can spend more time with his great-great-great-great-great-grandchildren.

David Letterman…. Top Reasons John Ashcroft Would Not Sing On Our Show: Pre-show partying with Mayor Bloomberg left him in no condition to perform; He insisted on singing shirtless; Depressed there were only a dozen screaming teenage girls at the stage door; Refused to do “Let The Eagle Soar” unless we paid for hair and makeup for the eagle; Needs to rest voice for upcoming Ashcroftpalooza tour; Too busy tapping my phones; For some reason he thought we’d make fun of him; The vibe wasn’t right, man; Blah, blah, upholding the dignity of the office, blah, blah.

Argus Hamilton…. Al-Jazeera Television broadcast a one-hour videotape Monday which shows Osama bin Laden sitting next to one of his terrorist aides, but not saying a word. We are gaining on him. Once a TV star starts working as an extra, it’s pretty much over. …. President Bush and Tony Blair wouldn’t rule out a surprise attack on Iraq. …. Israel blew up a building in Nablus Tuesday which locals insisted was a soap-making factory. However the building was actually a bomb factory. The Israeli army got suspicious when the labels on every box of soap read Northern Irish Spring. …. France won’t cooperate with the U.S. in the Zacarias Moussaoui case involving September 11th. They oppose the death penalty. France believes that the best way to handle terrorists is to give them Poland and Czechoslovakia and see how it goes. …. Congressman James Traficant was convicted of taking bribes and kickbacks on Thursday. The Democrat has served in the House for twenty years. It just proves the wisdom of Americans who back the two-term limit, one in office and one in jail. …. Interior Department employees used government credit cards to withdraw money at casinos and buy jewelry and furs. It’s outrageous. If they expect to get away with wasting taxpayer money on high living, they’ll have to run for Congress like everybody else. …. Los Angeles went on tactical alert Tuesday after the Police Commission voted 4-1 to fire the city’s second black police chief. It was precisely on schedule. The four seasons in Southern California are earthquake, brushfire, verdict and riot. …. New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg admitted saying he once smoked pot and liked it. The guy just spent $76 million of his own money to get elected to a job that pays $200,000 a year. So it’s true, marijuana really does affect your judgment. …. President Bush and Dick Cheney raised money at GOP rallies in Illinois and Iowa on Monday. The campaign rhetoric is heating up. It’s only a matter of time before they identify Al Gore, Hillary Clinton and Teddy Kennedy as the Axis of Ego.