THE FOUNDATION

“Great necessities call out for great virtues.” –Abigail Adams

INSIGHT

“Faith is to believe what we do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what we believe.” –St. Augustine

“Morale is the greatest single factor in successful wars.” –Dwight D. Eisenhower

“It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it.” –Douglas MacArthur

“Work is such a beautiful and helpful thing and independence so delightful that I wonder there are any lazy people in the world.” –Louisa May Alcott

“Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes.” –Henry J. Kaiser

“Trade is a plant which grows wherever there is peace, as soon as there is peace, and as long as there is peace.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.” –Helen Keller

“Dissatisfaction with possession and achievement is one of the requisites to further achievement.” –John Hope

“They have rights who dare maintain them.” –James Russell Lowell

“The most important office is that of private citizen.” –Louis D. Brandeis

“When money is going down in value, you want to have it in something besides a bank.” –Will Rogers

UPRIGHT

“I’m just a humble sinner who sought redemption.” –President George W. Bush

“War is not just Hell but a Hell of a teacher.” –Paul Greenberg

“Freedom and prosperity cannot coexist with socialism and endless war. Yet socialism and endless war are exactly what most in Washington are promoting.” –Rep. Ron Paul

“Among the most urgent political priorities of our age is the separation of economy and state.” –Llewellyn H. Rockwell, Jr.

“Marx was wrong when he said that history repeats itself, the first time as tragedy, the second as farce. The second time is tragedy too.” –Charles Krauthammer

“…I stand with heartfelt conviction over a political wind gauge any day.” –Georgia Demo Sen. Zell Miller addressing the National Rifle Association convention last weekend.

“Treating Palestinian homicide bombings and Israeli responses as morally equivalent obscures the difference between deliberately targeting civilians and going after terrorists.” –Marvin Olasky

“Let us make war on the phrase ‘violence doesn’t solve anything.’ It is a lie, and anyone who utters it cannot be taken morally seriously.” –Dennis Prager

“There is simply no way that a mother can reach the pinnacle of the professional world, whether in politics or business, without feeling she’s short-changing her kids.” –Linda Chavez

EDITORIAL EXEGESIS

“Now, attention turns to the siege at the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem, where roughly 150 Palestinians remain barricaded. The Israeli government announced earlier this month that terrorists who took control of the church include two members of Mr. Arafat’s Fatah group who are wanted in connection with the Jan. 15 murder of an American citizen, Avi Boaz, who was kidnapped at a Palestinian police checkpoint and subsequently murdered. Palestinians who have escaped from the church have told Israeli officials that sanitary conditions inside are worsening, that food and water are in short supply, and that the Palestinian gunmen in charge there have threatened to kill anyone who wants to leave. Maybe Mr. Arafat, who just recently ordered the thugs barricaded inside the church not to surrender, could use his good offices to persuade them to give themselves up.” –Washington Times

DEZINFORMATSIA

This week’s “Moral Innumeracy” Awards: “There was a very significant funeral in Palestinian Gaza this week for three boys who were killed by the Israelis. The fact that they were so young – the boys – has been particularly disturbing to Israelis and Palestinians both.” –ABC’s Peter Jennings

“Israeli soldiers killed seven Palestinians today in Gaza and the West Bank, but many on both sides are still stunned by the deaths Tuesday of three victims too young to die for any cause.” –CBS talkinghead Dan Rather on the three suicide bombers (AKA “victims”)

From the “Garbage In – Garbage Out” Department: “Not the kind of thing we want to export from this country.” –CNN anchor Daryn Kagan on last week’s school shooting in Germany **Like the Germans haven’t had any bad experiences with violent youth?

From the “Campaign Finance Deform” Files: “Peter, after spending a lot of time during the 2000 campaign blasting the Clinton-Gore administration for what he called its ‘scandalous fund-raising,’ President Bush has embraced the practice with relish. –ABC’s Terry Moran **Indeed, Mr. Bush has been fund-raising for his conservative colleagues, but is not taking checks from notorious drug dealers, Chinese spies or Riady family dupes.

This week’s "Leftmedia Non Compos Mentis” Award: “The theory behind how global warming could lead to colder temperatures begins with the build-up of greenhouse gasses that are trapping heat in the atmosphere. This heat contributes to the melting of arctic icecaps and the evaporation of ocean water. The moisture returns to Earth as precipitation, rain and snow. But the addition of huge volumes of fresh water could disrupt the Atlantic Ocean conveyor system that brings warm currents from the southern tropics to the north.” –CBS’s Randal Pinkston on the newest eco-scare: global cooling **Sounds like the ecosystem is self-regulating!

SOCIOCRATS

Sometimes they get it right: “Some people think I faked it for eight years before 100 million people.” –Former President Bill Clinton, taking a “riff” off describing the time his Teleprompter went down during one State of the Union speech and he “had to fake it for several minutes before 100 million people.”

This week’s “Las Clintonista Leftovers” Award: “I think Bill Clinton and I did a damn good job.” –Albert Arnold Gore at the Florida Democratic Convention. **Maybe so, but Gore spoke at lunch while the keynote dinner speaker was Alec Baldwin.

The Jackass Brays… “Still reeling from the U.S. Senate vote to stop drilling in the Alaskan National Wildlife Reserve, Bush and Cheney are set to let their oil buddies tear up the Rocky Mountain region…. Bush and Cheney have figured out just what every national monument needs: an oil well.” –DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe

More Demo-Goguery: “We will … never bring up the permanent tax cut the president is advocating. It’s bad policy, it’s wrong and it compounds the budget disaster we are now facing.” –Senate Demo Leader Tom Daschle

From the “Two Bits And Not A Dime’s Worth” Files: “My hero and my leader.” –New York Republican Rep. Peter King greeting NY Demo Rep. Charles Rangel

VILLAGE IDIOTS

“Race Card Poker”: “As long as race counts, we’ve got to count race. …Affirmative action is under attack not because it failed but because it succeeded.” –NAACP Chairman Julian Bond

This week’s “Village Victimitis” Award: “He exploited black sentiment because he knew the rituals of black culture. But we had been neglected by so many previous administrations that [we accepted] the first man who came by and winked at us and played saxophone on Arsenio Hall. Well, shame on so many African Americans for holding Bill Clinton up as some sort of hero.” –Michael Eric Dyson, professor of religious studies at DePaul University, at an NAACP fund-raiser.

From the “Je$$e Jack$on $hakedown” Files: “There is a chilly head wind coming from the White House. …The tension is that we have a very anti-civil rights president. …The struggle is clearly in front of us and not behind us.” –Jesse Jackson

This week’s “Gender Disorientation Disorder” Award: “Carrier’s employment policies clearly prohibits any type of discrimination and our ability to support community based organizations are limited, therefore we strive to direct resources to organizations that share our company’s goals for community betterment.” –Charles Eschenfelder, Communications Manager for Carrier Corporation, on the company’s decision stop supporting Boy Scouts. **Memo to Chuck: Have you heard about homosexual pederasty in the news lately? Oh, that’s right, the Leftmedia does not include the label “homosexual.”

From the “Village Academic Curriculum” File: “It’s low key. The point is that we want to treat [bisexual, homosexual and transsexual] issues in a way that’s matter of course.” –Reading teacher Michael Kozuch, of Newton North High School in Massachusetts on “normalization” of homosexuality in schoolbooks

SHORT CUTS

“I think it would have been far more reflective of his administration if Clinton simply had raised the money to buy the Mustang Ranch and rename it the Clinton Library and Massage Parlor.” –Rush Limbaugh

“I did have an NRA director come up and actually ask what he could do to help the Pink Pistols. … So there certainly is an outreach effort.” –Tom Boyer of the homosexual gun-rights group “Pink Pistols” on his group’s participation at the NRA’s annual convention. **This is the NRA for Pete’s sake! Is nothing sacred?

“A Protestant might almost be defined as a man who has to be warned against his own virtues.” –Joseph Sobran

“…France is still a menagerie of lefty jackassery.” –Jonah Goldberg

“The French people have taken to the streets in angry protests against … the French people! Which must be a relief to the operators of McDonald’s franchises, British lorry drivers and other more traditional targets of their ire, but is still a little weird.” –Mark Steyn

“I’m sticking with Dial-A-Prayer.” –Cal Thomas on the new “Dial-An-Ethicist” phone line for journalists.

“In a bold move designed to continue making the debates on its ‘Crossfire’ program completely unintelligible, CNN has gone from a format of everyone talking at once … to James Carville talking to himself.” –Bruce Tinsley in the comic strip “Mallard Fillmore”

“If you talk to yourself, at least carry a cell phone, so that people won’t think you are crazy.” –Thomas Sowell

“There is an old cardinal named Law/ Who has one heck of a flaw./ He treats a pedophile/ With a wink and a smile/ Instead of a sock on the jaw.” –Lyn Nofziger

“Wiley’s Dictionary: Preamble – The first steps John Wayne took before he learned to walk.” –Johnny Hart in the comic strip “B.C.”

“Preservation Cajun-Style: Save the salmon and save the seal,/ Save the gator and save the eel,/ The dolphin, the whale,/ The mussel, the snail:/ Save them all for my next meal.” –F.R. Duplantier

Jay Leno…. In Boston, Cardinal Bernard “Above The” Law will not be punished. Instead he is going to be transferred to Rome. So he’s being promoted. I don’t think he understands how lucky he is, today he said, “I’d like to thank the little people.”…. Over in the Middle East the standoff continues at the Church of the Nativity. So we have Jews holding up Muslims in a Christian Church – it’s nice to see the world’s religions coming together. …. In Philadelphia, Bill Clinton and Michael Jackson were at the same fund raiser. How’s that – a white guy that thinks he’s black and a black guy that’s white. …. A recent survey found that one-quarter of Americans are bilingual. The other three-quarters of Americans can’t speak any English at all. …. Robert Blake was booked yesterday – this was his first booking in over 10 years! Blake pleaded not guilty – this was his biggest speaking role in years. Blake’s attorney contacted me today – he said that we need to stop referring to Blake as a murderer. Instead he should be called a “widower by choice.” He was also charged with two counts of soliciting murder. He asked two people to kill his wife, but O.J. and Gary Condit turned him down. …. Charles Manson has been denied parole for the tenth time! Manson is looking pretty old now – he’s so old that he needs a Miracle Ear just to hear the voices in his head.

David Letterman…. Top Responses To “How Big Is Your Army Base?”: “It’s so big, you gotta pack a lunch just to get to the mess hall”; “It’s so big, we’re thinking of becoming our own country”; “It’s so big, Larry King’s wives could enlist and we’d still have room”; “It’s so big, it has its own army base”; “It’s so big, I often go AWOL for weeks at a time and nobody notices!”; “Let’s just say – big enough”; “It’s so big, to get from your barracks to the PX is a half-hour ride in a blackhawk helicopter”; “Hey – how big is your army base?”; “It’s so big, we’ve got plenty of room for Osama if he wants to drop by.”

Argus Hamilton…. Congress voted $300 million to build a fortified back-up location where they can meet in case of a catastrophe in Washington, DC. It will be located at an old cavalry fort in Maryland. They needed a place with the trough already installed. …. The Republican National Committee had a Texas barbecue in Crawford on Friday for donors who gave $250,000 in 2000. The guests seemed so grateful for the ribs, the beans, and the potato salad. They could have put that money in the stock market. …. President Bush celebrates Cinco de Mayo with a White House party on Friday. It marks Mexico’s victory over France. For crying out loud, Betty Ford would have to franchise if we celebrated every single country that ever defeated France. …. Chinese vice president Hu Jintao lands in Washington D.C. today for high-level discussions. The relations between our two countries have been strained lately. When Tom Ridge put the country on Yellow Alert, China really took it the wrong way. …. Senator Zell Miller of Georgia gave the keynote speech to the National Rifle Association annual convention meeting this weekend in Reno. There was a seven-hour wait in the hotel lobby to check in Friday. These people just hate to register. …. Bill Clinton and Michael Jackson headlined a Democratic fund-raiser … at Harlem’s Apollo Theater. The idea was to promote the party’s Big Tent philosophy. Whether you sexually abuse boys or girls, there is a place for you in the Democratic Party. …Bill Clinton will go down in history as the first white Southerner ever to move to Harlem for his own personal safety.