Chronicle
THE FOUNDATION
“Our unalterable resolution would be to be free. They have attempted to subdue us by force, but God be praised! in vain. Their arts may be more dangerous than their arms. Let us then renounce all treaty with them upon any score but that of total separation, and under God trust our cause to our swords.” –Samuel Adams
INSIGHT
“Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” –Henry David Thoreau
“All I have seen has taught me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson
“How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.” –William Shakespeare
“Until thought is linked with purpose there is no intelligent accomplishment.” –James Allen
“Prosperity is only an instrument to be used, not a deity to be worshipped.” –Calvin Coolidge
“The mob has many heads but no brains.” –Thomas Fuller
“Thank God, she doesn’t have to be confirmed by the Senate.” –Herbert Hoover on learning of the birth of his granddaughter
UPRIGHT
“The president believes that the trade embargo is a vital part of America’s foreign policy and human rights policy toward Cuba, because trade with Cuba does not benefit the people of Cuba – it’s used to prop up a repressive regime.” –Ari Fleischer
“If conservatives are people who put freedom ahead of security and individual rights ahead of government control then it must follow that they are opposed to big government.” –Lyn Nofziger
“The most astounding fact about our time is its great addiction to the state. Even after all the horrors of the past century, people still believe implicitly in the state; whereas, if they learned from experience, they would all talk about states in general the way Jews talk about Hitler.” –Joseph Sobran
“In democracy, as quaintly understood, voters pick their representatives. American democracy increasingly reverses that. Legislative districts are drawn to protect incumbents who, effectively, pick their voters.” –George Will
“Good intentions are good only insofar as they lead to good actions. But if they substitute for good actions, they become harmful.” –David C. Stolinsky
“In a dangerous and uncertain world, it is tempting to trade liberty for security. Yet this does not make it necessary or advisable.” –James Antle
“How could September 11th maybe have been avoided? Real simple. If Bill Clinton, while president, had accepted the Sudanese government’s offer to turn over Osama bin Laden. They handed him to Clinton on a silver platter.” –Rush Limbaugh
“Indeed, there is already good evidence to suggest that today’s attack on priestly celibacy heralds tomorrow’s assault on the ethos of marital monogamy.” –Stanley Kurtz
EDITORIAL EXEGESIS
“Well, that sure evaporated fast. We’re referring to last week’s political tempest over the Beltway discovery, eight months later, that September 11 was an intelligence failure. The ‘news’ justifying this uproar was that last August 6 President Bush received a vague intelligence warning that al-Qa'ida might try to hijack airplanes. …What worries us much more than what was missed on September 11 is that a similar mindset may be causing missed signals now. The FBI seems devoted to its ‘lone nut’ theory of the anthrax terror, to the point of dismissing credible reports that one of the September 11 hijackers had anthrax himself. FBI Director Robert Mueller is a competent man but he’s not known for challenging his superiors. Meanwhile, Secretary of Transportation Norm Mineta refuses to racially profile even suspicious types trying to board airlines [and has again declined to allow qualified pilots to arm themselves]. And the CIA and State Department have both been reluctant to trust reports from democratic opponents of Saddam Hussein. This is the kind of thinking that could produce the next intelligence failure.” –Wall Street Journal
DEZINFORMATSIA
The week’s “Leftmedia Parrots” Award: “Damage control. White House officials insist the President never received any specific warning of the 9/11 attacks, but Congress wants to know who knew what after CBS News uncovers the presidential intelligence briefing in August that has been kept secret.” –CBS talkinghead Dan Rather on what President Bush knew about terror threats pre-9/11
“Look, what did the President know and when did he know it has a familiar ring to it.” –Bryant Gumbel to Dick Gephardt, who said, “I think what we have to do now is to find out what the president … knew about the events leading up to 9/11 [and] when [he] knew it….”
“What did he know and when did he know it?” –NBC’s Katie Couric
“President Bush knew that al-Qa'ida was planning to hijack a U.S. airliner.” –CNN’s Judy Woodruff
“Do we believe this is new and valid information, or, as some people have asked, is it the Bush administration trying to distract people’s attention from the fact that it’s been criticized severely in the last little while?” –ABC talkinghead Peter Jennings on what “some people have asked.”
“…I think, for the most part, the White House has not lied here.” —ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, “for the most part.”
“This is a big problem for the President. The luster is gone from him as a war President and as a leader. His credibility, his priorities are in question.” –Eleanor Clift
But sometimes they get it right: “The media beast was so happy to have a scandal here, that we jumped up and down and waved our arms and got all excited about it.” –Newsweek’s Evan Thomas
SOCIOCRATS
From the “Clinton Presidue” Files: “I actually trained people to do this [capture or kill Osama bin Laden]. We trained people. But in order to do it we would have had to take them in on attack helicopters 900 miles from the nearest boat, maybe illegally violating the airspace of people if they wouldn’t give us approval.” –Bill Clinton justifying his ineffectual response to bin Laden’s terrorist activities.
This week’s “Non Compos Mentis” Award: “…[The Bush foreign policy advisors have] untreated bipolar disorder. …This split personality is … evident in Afghanistan, where one day they are ridiculing nation-building and the next proposing a new Marshall Plan.” –Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, confusing manic depressive illness with multiple personality disorder. **Around our editorial shop, she’s considered less “all bright” than “half wit.” But, then, we knew the Clinton administration was confused over the meaning of “is.”
“So much for the concept of compassionate conservatism. I am deeply disappointed that the House Republican leadership rammed through a harsh, under-funded, and misguided welfare reform bill yesterday, largely along party lines.” –Terry McAuliffe
And this one is really “the pits”: “While most pictures are worth a thousand words, a photo that seeks to capitalize on one of the most tragic moments in our nation’s history is worth only one … disgraceful.” –Clintonista Vice-Prevaricator Albert Arnold Gore, who “capitalized” campaigns out of the White House, the Oval Office, the Commerce Department, etc., etc., etc.
VILLAGE IDIOTS
This week’s “Consummate Village-Celeb” Award: “This is not a film about Republicans and Democrats. Rather, it’s an insightful story that looks at the fringe elements of our society and their effect on the modern political process. It’s also a story of how these fringe elements influenced our national news media regarding the events and circumstances of Bill Clinton’s administration.” –Clintonista Producer Harry Thomason on his planned “documentary” defense of Bill and Hillary Clinton – a couple of real “fringe elements.”
This week’s “Ignarus Perpetuus” Award: “There’s no such thing as PETA-approved leather.” –PETA spokeswoman Lisa Lange
From the “Dumbing-Down” File: Washington bookstore Politics & Prose had scheduled a signing for “Heaven on Earth: The Rise and Fall of Socialism” – but cancelled the event once the store coordinator learned the book criticizes rather than praises Leftism.
This week’s “Hyper-Hypocrisy” Award: “There’s no question about the repugnancy of many of his songs. They’re nauseating in terms of how we as a culture like to view human progress. But it’s a remarkable recording.” –Michael Greene, president of the National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences, on Eminem’s four Grammy nominations.
This week’s “Homo Leftus Americanus” Award: “We’re feeling a little marginalized. The movement is struggling to find a place.” –Dana Rivers, after a sex change, saying “she” and other transgender people don’t get their share of attention from the homosexual media.
From the “Village Academic Curriculum” Files: “I’m not sure we should even expect 18-year-olds to remember dates and facts and names and places if there’s no practical use for that knowledge.” –UCLA History Professor Gary B. Nash, with some adroit insights on why it’s not important if the nation’s students “don’t know much about history.”
SHORT CUTS
“I see where persons representing the United States Senate are looking for a site about a thousand miles outside of Washington where they could meet if a catastrophic event forced them to leave the capital. I think that’s a good idea, but I don’t think they should wait for a catastrophe – they are the catastrophe and the sooner they leave the better off the nation will be.” –Lyn Nofziger
“I’m happily among those boycotting France. Good-bye to my favorite perfume, which is French…. Hello to my new favorite – ‘Happy’ by Clinique. Clinique and Estee Lauder, owned by the American, Jewish Lauder family, like Starbucks, are being boycotted by Arab Muslims for one reason – they are owned by Jews. This has nothing to do with Israel. The Lauders aren’t Israelis. It’s anti-Semitism, plain and simple.” –Debbie Schlussel
“It grows ever increasingly apparent that to ally with ‘moderate Islam’ is about as effective as coalition building with the lands of Narnia, Middle Earth and Utopia.” –C.T. Rossi
“People wonder why our high school students don’t know history. Perhaps they have been watching C-SPAN.” –Hugh Hewitt
“Some full professors could more accurately be described as empty professors.” –Thomas Sowell
“Jimmy Carter!? He’s history’s greatest monster!” –“The Simpsons”
Jay Leno…. Jimmy Carter is still in Cuba. There was footage of Carter and Castro doing the wave together at a ballgame – 30 Cubans tried to ride it to Miami! …. Travel experts say we can expect long delays, huge lines and rude service at airports this summer – so air travel is getting back to normal. …. Federal transportation officials announced plans for a toll-free number for passengers on planes to call if they’re being hijacked. Is the toll-free part really a big deal? Is there someone on the plane at that time with their cell phone worried about saving their weekend minutes? …. President Bush is in trouble. You been following this? It’s now come out that President Bush knew as far back as January that “Ally McBeal” would be cancelled. …. Yasser Arafat has called for free elections in Palestine. He’s already asking the suicide bombers for their absentee ballots. …. There’s another Osama bin Laden video out. This proves the guy is losing it. What idiot would release a video the same week as “Star-Wars”? …. “Star Wars: Attack of The Clones” opened last night. Good luck getting hold of tech support for your computer this weekend! …. You know the most common thing said by guys waiting in line for “Star Wars”? – “One, please.”
David Letterman…. Top New Features of Camp Delta: Interrogation rooms with ocean views; Still has that “new detention camp” smell; Prisoners allowed one threatening phone call a week; The loosest slots on Guatanamo Bay; Free “Camp Delta” tote bag with every confession; Extremist kids eat free; Nightly turndown service includes a goat on your pillow; Burqa raids on girls’ camp across the lake; Midnight performances by Engelbert Humperdinck; Craftmatic adjustable torture racks.
Argus Hamilton…. Arizona Governor Jane Hull escaped an assassination plot in Phoenix Sunday. Authorities say the plot was carried out by a career criminal, a clergyman and a sex offender. Jesse Jackson is just lucky he was in the hospital and has an alibi. …. FBI agents pointed out suspicious Arab flight school students last June. The CIA warned of al-Qa'ida hijackings in August. No one knows what games intelligence analysts play to keep their analytical skills sharp, but we know it isn’t Connect-the-Dots. …. The New York Daily News said Bill Clinton still owes his lawyers $3 million and hasn’t paid a dime in a year. It’s true he’s now making a lot of money, but his expenses are huge. After all, he has a daughter at Oxford and a son in the Enquirer. …. Afghanistan formed an Olympic Committee Sunday to lobby for admission to the 2004 Games. They hope to field wrestling, boxing and shooting teams. Unfortunately for their track and field chances, their best runners are all in Pakistan by now.
