Afghan army deserter Jan Arash hit the jackpot last week — he’s been granted “asylum” in the U.S., which means he can now go on welfare, bring his entire family over from their Third World hellhole and put them on the dole, too, forever.
“He’s overjoyed,” said his lawyer.
And why wouldn’t he be?
This is what millions of Third Worlders aspire to — a permanent vacation at U.S. taxpayer expense. Call it the Tsarnaev lottery, only it’s not a lottery because there’s no element of chance. The illegals always win — and America loses.
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You may recall that this yellow traitor to his country was one of three Afghan soldiers who came to Camp Edwards on Cape Cod last year, purportedly to study emergency planning. They quickly fled to Zachary’s Pub, a local strip club in Mashpee. It didn’t take more than one or two lap dances to decide to remain here in the Great Satan forever.
How you gonna keep ’em down on the jihad once they’ve seen Zachary’s? And once they find out that … everything’s on Uncle Sam, including the “back rubs”?
They deserted and took a cab to Niagara Falls — $1,600! Then they demanded asylum. One was allowed to stay in Canada, which is Canada’s problem. The other two, including Arash, were jailed after they claimed asylum on the grounds that they were afraid of the Taliban.
Arash’s lawyer, Matthew Borowski, defended his client Friday, telling my producer, “These men really fought side by side with Americans.”
Yes, right up until the moment they deserted.
“We owe them a duty to protect them.”
Protect them from what exactly? I could have sworn we won the war in Afghanistan.
Last December Obama bragged that he had brought the conflict to a “reasonable conclusion,” and that “we are safer, and our nation is more secure.”
It must be true, because Obama never lies. After all, if you like your doctor …
The first immigration judge apparently took Obama at his word, because he ordered the two deserters deported. But there’s a saying that the immigration process is never over until the illegal alien has won. Sure enough, an appeals court has handed this first foreign freeloader a get-out-of-jail-free card.
I asked Jessica Vaughan of the Center for Immigration Studies which welfare bennies this bum is now eligible for.
There isn’t room enough here to list every handout spelled out by the official fact sheet of the Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR). The Arash family will get eight months of instant money called Refugee Cash Assistance, and eventually they will be transitioned to state welfare programs. (Jobs? You’re kidding, right?)
Vaughan said Arash’s reward for desertion may include SSI, SNAP, TANF, Medicaid and ?Section 8 public housing.
The full Tsarnaev, in other words.
Oh, and here’s a bonus. Once the freeloader gets settled in on the dole, he can get “advanced parole,” as Vaughan calls it, which enables him to go on vacation back to the country where he was being “persecuted.” This was what Speedbump Tsarnaev did — use welfare cash to journey back to his Muslim homeland and learn how to become a terrorist and kill the Americans who had taken him in and given him and his crime family a free ride forever.
Arash can only bring in his wife and family immediately, and they of course will be eligible for welfare from the moment they arrive. But the rest of his relatives can apply for visas (and they’re handing them out at the U.S. embassy in Kabul like M&M’s on Halloween). Once they get to the U.S. they, too, can demand “asylum” — from work.
“That’s how the Tsarnaevs got here,” Vaughan said. “Only 30 percent of the stories these people tell check out.”
I would have guessed it would have been more like 3 percent.
The government has decided that gender is based solely on “self-identification.”
Ditto, race — just ask Sen. Elizabeth Warren. So can U.S. citizens now “self-identify” as asylees or refugees and go on the full Tsarnaev, getting everything for free, up to and including “briefings on their entitlement to publicly supported refugee services”?
Yesterday was Independence Day. Today, I guess, is Dependence Day, at least for Jan Arash and tens of millions like him. And now there’s only one question left for this newest foreign leech on the dole.
Does Zachary’s accept EBT cards for lap dances?
See Howie this Saturday from 3-5 p.m. at Liquor ’N More in Bourne.