Burt Prelutsky

The one thing that must be said for Nancy Pelosi is that she is always good for a chuckle. Although she has been known to say some of the funniest lines ever heard in Congress, such as "You'll have to pass ObamaCare in order to find out what's in it," she doesn't have to rely on funny dialogue in order to have people rolling in the aisles. All she has to do is give us that famous Pelosi look, the one that resembles an elderly deer caught in the headlights, the eyebrows up around her hairline, with those startled eyes that, thanks to one too many facelifts, have lost the ability to blink.

But just because she doesn't have to depend on dialogue doesn't mean that when the circumstances call for it, she can't deliver a knee-slapper with the best of them. For instance, after Eric Holder spent a year and a half stonewalling Congress, refusing to hand over documents related to Fast and Furious, a botched Department of Justice operation that resulted in the murder of two American agents and thousands of Mexican civilians, Nancy Pelosi predictably sprang to the Attorney General's defense.

What confounded Pelosi watchers were the grounds upon which she based her spirited defense of the indefensible. Typically, whether the worthy target of moral and political outrage happens to be Barack Obama, Charley Rangel, Maxine Waters, Sheila Jackson Lee, Elijah Cummings or Eric Holder, the Democrats can be counted on to scream, "Racism!" But Pelosi isn't just a run-of-the-mill screwball; she's in a special category all her own.

This time, the House minority leader showed her versatility by insisting that it was all a plot by the GOP to prevent Eric Holder from continuing to make certain that those evil conservatives didn't get away with suppressing the vote.

Keep in mind this is the very same Eric Holder who didn't bother indicting the Black Panthers for intimidating white voters in Philadelphia or, more recently, for placing a bounty on the head of George Zimmerman. This is the same Eric Holder who told his federal agents that the Department of Justice would only prosecute white people when it came to such offenses.

Still, it's not so surprising that Mrs. Pelosi keeps getting re-elected to Congress. After all, it only requires garnering about 100,000 votes in a San Francisco district where sexual deviants of one sort or another constitute the majority. The real mystery is why the liberals in Congress decided to make her their standard-bearer. What possessed these numbskulls to decide that hers is the face and the voice they wish to present to the American public?

For that matter, why on earth did Senate Democrats select Harry Reid, a man born to offer his professional condolences to grieving family members, to be their leader, and what made the DNC decide that the extremely shrill Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, a woman born to be a wallflower at a dance for Jewish singles, would make an ideal spokesperson?

Speaking of Nancy Pelosi's constituents, Obama recently hosted a get-together for members of the Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender freak show. While enjoying White House hospitality, a couple of the LGBT visitors had their photos taken while giving the finger to the presidential portrait of Ronald Reagan. One of them went so far as to call Reagan "a murderous fool" because he didn't do enough to end the AIDS epidemic. It goes without saying that the epidemic could have been ended almost before it began if only sodomites had stopped spending hours on end at gay bathhouses having unprotected sexual intercourse with scores of strangers.

Moving on to the complaints of left-wing women, who are determined to propagate the lie that conservatives aren't really concerned with the infringement of the First Amendment, but are only out to deprive women of contraceptive devices and abortion-inducing pharmaceuticals, comes startling economic news. It seems that in spite of the bilge pumped forth by the likes of Pelosi, Wasserman-Schultz and the ladies of Planned Parenthood, over 92% of the jobs lost since January, 2009, were jobs held by women. Under Obama's stewardship, the unemployment rate for women as a group has gone from 7.0% to 8.1%. When broken down by race, it has soared from 10.2% for Hispanic and black women to 10.8% and 13.3%, respectively.

What's more, in Obama's White House, women earn roughly 82% as much as men. And unlike the phony comparisons concocted by female activists on the Left, who insist that pre-school teachers have jobs comparable to firefighters and that professors of lesbian studies are comparable to nuclear physicists, White House aides and bureaucrats really are doing the exact same, generally unnecessary, jobs.

But you can bank on the fact that such inconvenient truths will do nothing to cool the ardor of women, especially goofy single women, for Barack Obama. When it comes to the Left, facts are never permitted to trump emotions.

One can only assume that, as is often the case with abused women, these dumb clucks just love their guy and figure, no matter how often they wind up with black eyes and split lips, that they must have done something wrong to upset their honey bunny.

But at least he has provided them with a way to worm their way back into his affections. All they have to do is tell their friends and relatives to forget about giving them wedding, birthday and graduation gifts, and just send the money directly to the First National Bank of Obama.