Burt Prelutsky

How is it, people wonder, that Obama could be re-elected with an economy that's barely breathing; a foreign policy that led to the Benghazi massacre and a cover-up that puts Watergate in the shade; soaring prices at the gas pump; a war on the oil and coal industries; a diminished military; increased taxes; ObamaCare; handing GM over to a labor union; and an unemployment rate that's worse than the one he's spent four years complaining he inherited?

How, indeed? Well, for openers, Hispanics see the federal government as one big piñata, filled with goodies. Likewise, blacks, single women and immature males, think that Uncle Sam is really their Sugar Daddy.

When it comes to my fellow Jews, who continue to confound Gentiles with their dedication to the Left, the explanation isn't all that mystifying. For most of them, their religion of choice isn't Judaism, it's Liberalism. I can't tell you how often I hear from totally perplexed Christians who ask me how it is that such well-educated people can continue to vote like the dregs of society. In part, the answer is that Jews only appear to vote against their own self-interest. They aren't really all that altruistic. When you realize what a large percentage of defense attorneys; ACLU lawyers; members of the public sector unions, including those involving teachers and social workers; the media; and, yes, the gay community; are Jewish, their devotion to the Democratic Party isn't all that surprising.

Another part of the answer is that being well-educated generally guarantees a good income, but it has next to nothing to do with possessing wisdom or commonsense. And without them, education is really nothing more than lipstick on a pig or tinsel on a rotted tree.

One of the sobering notes of the election is that Americans are now so dumb, greedy and morally pathetic, the Democrats no longer have to cheat on Election Day. They used to fight for racial equality and a strong national defense, but now wage war on behalf of abortions on demand and same-sex marriages.

Once again, single women voted overwhelmingly for Barack Obama, just as they did for Clinton, Gore and Kerry. It leads me to hope that they continue to be conscientious about using those all-important birth control pills. God forbid they start reproducing!

A few people asked me why on earth Colin Powell continues to call himself a Republican when he keeps endorsing Democrats when elections roll around. It's my theory that he hopes to pass himself off as a man above the fray, a man who votes for the best man running. Because Powell used to be a general, a lot of people fall for his charade. He's about as Republican as Chris Matthews and about as non-partisan as Juan Williams, who just might get to play him if Hollywood ever gets around to producing "The Colin Powell Story."

When it comes to misidentifying himself, Powell is no worse than 30% of the population. Whereas we used to hear that 40% of Americans identified themselves as conservatives and a mere 20% identified themselves as liberals, in spite of the obvious fact that in every election 40% of the people vote for the Republican and 40% vote for the Democrat, we now hear in the aftermath of the election that 38% of us are Democrats, 32% are Republicans and 30% are something called moderates. I'm afraid that baloney is baloney, no matter how thin you slice it, and it pains me when I hear right-wing pundits parrot this malarkey. No moderate would have ever voted for Barack Obama, the most left-wing radical to have ever been president.

Instead of asking people to identify themselves, all we need to do is to check election results. That also goes for repeating the lie that America is still a slightly right of center nation.

With the increasing number of Hispanics, blacks, single females, gays, Asians and brain-washed college students, we're about as conservative as Norway.

If America had been invaded by foreign enemies, we could have fought back. But this wasn't a foreign invader. It's as if America had died of cancer or a self-inflicted bullet to the head. The fat lady sang, and it wasn't the National Anthem. We have all heard about criminals who, having been cornered, refuse to be captured and incarcerated. Instead, they choose to go out in a blaze of gunfire. It's called suicide by cop. What happened on November 6th was suicide by voter.

I see America as a nation in ruins. The difference is that, unlike the ancient cities of Rome and Athens, tourists won't be showing up to take pictures.

I intend to keep writing until they pull this keyboard out of my cold, dead hands, but I have to confess that I'm hearing the siren call of Canada. You may not realize it, but all of Canada has fewer people than California. There are only 33 million Canadians. If all of us conservatives moved up there, we could re-create the America the Founding Fathers envisioned.

After all, Canada is a large, beautiful country, the people are friendly and they even have a major league baseball team.

Once we gained control, we would have to be vigilant in protecting our southern border. We would also have to keep Alexis de Tocqueville's wise words constantly in mind: "A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world's greatest civilizations has been 200 years."

That was one very wise Frenchman. Therefore, in order to avoid the inevitable pitfall he described, when we all get to Canada, I suggest we agree to make me the king.