The Right Opinion

A Year-End Smorgasbord

By Burt Prelutsky · Dec. 26, 2012

If you're anything like me, please accept my condolences. God knows it's not easy being us. For one thing, you can't stop seeking logical reasons for everything that happens even though you know that the search will, far more often than not, end fruitlessly. Our tombstones could read: “Finally, a logical conclusion.”

For instance, when I'm mailing out one of my books, unless it's “Liberals: America's Termites,” I have to make a trip to the Post Office. That's because only “Termites,” at 11 ounces, is light enough to deposit in a mail box. In case it's escaped your notice, you are not allowed to mail a stamped package weighing in excess of 13 ounces. I always assumed this rule came about because of Ted Kaczynski, a Harvard grad who came to be known as the Unabomber when, between 1978 and 1995, he mailed out 16 bombs that killed three people and maimed 23 others. But inasmuch as he was arrested in 1996 and the Post Office didn't lower the limit from 16 ounces until 2007, it either means my assumption was incorrect or, more likely, that it took a federal agency all that time to cut through the red tape.

I recently suggested that wealthy conservatives, instead of bankrolling occasional elections, would have far more influence if they started buying up newspapers, magazines and TV stations. It has since occurred to me that Glenn Beck could have done more good if he had bought an existing Texas daily instead of creating The Blaze. The fact is The Blaze will not convert anyone to our side. Only those already committed to conservatism will even be aware it exists. Is it any wonder that the Left controls the mass media and pop culture, and therefore the message, when the Right is seemingly content to play defense?

Speaking of conversion, quite often, but especially during the Christmas season, I receive messages from readers who urge me to become a Christian. It never bothers me. Although I haven't the slightest intention of converting, I find that I appreciate their concern. Why would I resent people who only know me from my articles worrying about my eternal soul? I take it as a compliment, even if that's not always the way they intend it. In fact, if I could choose, I'd take their email over the stuff that includes videos, links and those endless invitations to stroll down memory lane. For me, at least, nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

When I hear Obama insisting to the Republicans in Congress that when it comes to taxes and spending, it's his way or the highway, I understand what people mean when they refer to sore winners. Perhaps it's because in his entire Affirmative Action-coddled life, he has never been forced to accept the inevitable losses that lead to maturity, he remains, even in his 50s, as blissfully unaware of his numerous shortcomings as your typical spoiled teenager.

My friend, Don Melquist, otherwise known as the Pride of Green Valley, Arizona, recently pointed out to me what a huge role bossy black women have played in Obama's life. The ladies include Oprah Winfrey, Susan Rice, Whoopi Goldberg, Valerie Jarrett and Michelle Obama. But, it occurred to me that he has also surrounded himself with bossy Jewish men, such as Rahm Emanuel, David Axelrod and George Soros, and assorted bossy ne'er-do-wells, such as Bill Ayers, Frank Marshall Davis and Jeremiah Wright. Whoever it was who first observed that when you lie down with dogs, you're very likely to get up with fleas, must have had someone very much like Obama in mind.

A couple of weeks ago, I heard a guy being interviewed on the radio. It seems he had been in a coma. When he finally emerged, he was convinced of reincarnation. Nothing he said really indicated why. But because he had had what is referred to as a near-death experience, his words are supposed to be taken more seriously than anyone else's. Oddly enough, that rule doesn't seem to apply to those of us who have sat through entire Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler movies, although I could swear that several times my life flashed before my eyes before arriving at the closing credits.

It's not merely my usual skepticism that causes me to doubt reincarnation. It's that the concept makes no sense at all. As I understand it, we are placed on earth to learn from our mistakes. The ultimate goal is, I assume, perfect character. So perhaps in one life, a person was a thief. When he dies, he's going to return and learn why it is wrong to steal. For me, the problem is that he doesn't come back as himself. In fact, he comes back with no memory of a past existence, so he is really starting over again. It makes more sense to send the guy to jail in the first place and hope that he sees the error of his ways. At least he knows why he's there.

Another reason it strikes me as nonsense is because the system suggests that we keep getting nicer and more civilized over the course of centuries. I mean, how can it be otherwise if we keep getting better, even incrementally? But is there anyone who actually believes the human race is showing even the slightest signs of improving? Any sane person, that is.

That automatically excludes the Ivy League faculty members who divided their political donations, 96% for Obama, 4% for Romney; the Democrats who believe their cause is well-served by having Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi fronting for their Party; and everyone on Madison Avenue who seems convinced that Sarah Jessica Parker was born to appear in fashion and perfume ads when normal people know that anyone carting around that face belongs in a stakes race.

40 Comments

Old Desert Rat in Las Vegas, NV said:

I am so full and you made me laugh! I did kind of like "Truman" but. other than that, I concur with the Carrey and/or Sandler movie ratings. Would appreciate not seeing or hearing of Reid or Perlosi when I have just finished eating but since it is Christmas I'll let it slide. Have a good reat of the year. Enjoy your every utterance.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:23 AM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

ODR: Thanks for the kind words. I apologize for interfering with your digestion. Happy New Year.

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:21 PM

Old Desert Rat in Las Vegas, NV said:

Oh, BTW SJP is a passable actress but when you put her sense of style against Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly or looks compared to Elizabeth Taylor or Catherine Deneuve (sp?) ......at that point you are left with a passable actress.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:41 AM

BlueShadowII in Texas replied:

Grace Kelly would be at the very top of my all time list for style, looks, and whatever other admirable attributes of the fair sex that you can imagine. It was so disappointing to see her marry beneath herself (and I've always thought her husband would have agreed).

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 8:36 AM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

ODR: The world is full of passable actresses, but most are not passed off as fashion and style icons.

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:23 PM

Old Desert Rat in Las Vegas, NV replied:

True story and she is neither....

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 7:40 PM

Howard Last in Wyoming said:

"Another reason it strikes me as nonsense is because the system suggests that we keep getting nicer and more civilized over the course of centuries. I mean, how can it be otherwise if we keep getting better, even incrementally? But is there anyone who actually believes the human race is showing even the slightest signs of improving? Any sane person, that is."

Burt,if anyone believes the human race is improving, is not aware of the Ragheads/camel jockeys. They are still living in the 4th century or earlier. They will not be happy until the entire world becomes barbarians.

When it comes to Ivy League professors, the phrase that fits best is, they are someone who knows more and more about less and less, until they know everything about nothing.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 1:22 AM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

Howard: So true.

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:24 PM

TruthInAction in TX said:

Your irreverence is reverential!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 6:30 AM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

Truth: Thank you...I think.

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:24 PM

Wayne in Hinesville, GA said:

Burt, Great column as usual! The snooty over-educated Ivy league idiots believe they know what is best for the rest of us. However, I suspect none on them have ever had to worry about a mortgage payment, clothes for the kids, food on the table, and bills to pay. In their minds we are too stupid to take care of ourselves so they (the Guvmint) have to step in and tell us how to live. If they can keep us uninformed, uneducated, indoctrinated, and depending on the government to provide our livehood it stands to reason we would keep voting for the Progressive, Socialist, Marxist, Demoratic party. Good mindless Comrades all living under the banner "FORWARD". It fries their souls when a part of the electorate asks questions about their interpretation of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. How dare a backwards electorate question their interpretation of that "living document"? We should just shut our mouths and stop asking questions about things we apparently know nothing about. Half of the voters are already in their camp and they would like nothing more than to silence the ones of us who don't go along with the party line.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 9:44 AM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

Old Sarge: You are right, of course. Those with Ivy League degrees like to pretend they are the smartest people in America. But then they go ahead and vote for Obama, proving that their degrees aren't worth the sheepskin they're printed on.

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:29 PM

Orf in Pittsburgh said:

Burt, I'm glad you finally are fully aware of the importance of the news media in getting the message to people other than us. Yes, Glenn Beck made a big mistake, as have others. The Republicans have been blamed too much for not getting their message out, but what can they do when the press ignores that message, just as they ignore Benghazi, Fast and Furious, etc.?

Reincarnation exists, but not in the way you imagine it. Yes, our souls have lost much memory from a previous life but not all memory. Under hypnosis some people can remember a previous life, and others use some form of meditation or visualization to recall a previous memory. But whatever the memory that escapes the conscious mind, it is there in the subconscious. Those that are more like the Messiah would be those who have lived many lifetimes. Those that are like Obozo skipped quite a few steps, with the help of the Devil, and represent the evil that is part of the duality of this world. It is always the good vs the evil.

The towel-heads are born into the worst kind of oppression and have little chance of improving themselves. Since the world's population has been growing larger for decades, these suppressed or repressed people, more rapidly reproducing than other groups, could represent new souls never incarnate previously, or more likely, the souls of pigs and monkeys slowly crawling up the evolutionary ladder. Why else would they use psychological projection in labeling Jews pigs and monkeys?

You probably think I am still drunk from Christmas cheer. :>)

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 10:17 AM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

Orf: I hope it's just the Christmas cheer talking. As Churchill was once alleged to have said to a woman who had called him a drunk: "I am drunk, madam. But in the morning, I'll be sober and you'll still be ugly."

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:33 PM

Orf in Pittsburgh replied:

Burt and Mac. I should know better than to talk about what I cannot prove, but then faith is like that too. I have always loved and often quoted that comment by Churchill. Skepticism is good but it isn't a good partner to faith.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 7:14 PM

Bob in Hattiesburg, MS said:

Burt, I know what you mean about Sandler and Carrey. For the life of me, I have never understood their so-called comic appeal. I would rather undergo a root canal that have to sit through one of their movies. You can also add Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller to that list. How they have managed to make a living at what they do is beyond me.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 10:57 AM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

Bob: And I'll add Will Ferrell to that awful stew.

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:34 PM

sfj in Alabama replied:

AMEN to that - Will Ferrel makws me sick....

Thursday, December 27, 2012 at 9:44 AM

Robert in NEW Mexico said:

Why convert? You're already one of God's chosen people. We christians, in constrast, are required to choose God.

While I'm here, I'd include any Will Farrell movie as quailfy for a near-death experience.

I always thought Sarah Jessica Parker could lead a pack of hounds after some varmint. Realistically though, there's a bigger market with homely girls. By featuring Sarah Jessica, the ad-men are selling hope to a huge market. If they only used Salma Hayak, Andie Macdowell, and Jennifer Lopez in their ads, they'd be selling pure fantasy (Mine, by the way. But I ain't buying).

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 11:12 AM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

Robert: I see you beat me to Will Ferrell. You might be right about Sarah Jessica Parker's appeal to Madison Avenue, but I doubt it. After all, she gets to appear in movies and in TV shows where one is supposed to accept that she compares favorably to the likes of Macdowell and Lopez.

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:39 PM

Robert in NEW Mexico replied:

I can give Will farrell a little credit. At his adolescent best, he did a great characterization of Bill Clinton on Saturday Night Live. But I think that says as much about Clinton's (adolescent) character as its does Farrell's (adolescent) skills as an actor.

By the way, I don't think J.Lopez is that great looking. She ain't that bad either. ;)

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 1:30 PM

Anton D Rehling in Olympia, WA replied:

Sarah Jessica Parker may be offended by all this talk about her, But, I am sure she will land on all four.

Thursday, December 27, 2012 at 1:46 PM

Dave Eichler in North Pole, Alaska said:

Beck missing the boat by not buying a newspaper publisher is absolutely true. However, he is an entertainer striving to make money, not necessarily trying to change the culture in the most effective way possible. The same could be said about many of the self-proclaimed spokesmen of the Right.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 11:54 AM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

Dave: You could be right, but I don't think so. I believe that Beck does wish to change the culture. In fact, I quit watching his show on Fox because he stopped being amusing and became as pompous and as tiresome as a televangelist.

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:42 PM

Anton D Rehling in Olympia, WA replied:

I agree, he got really impressed with himself.

Thursday, December 27, 2012 at 1:46 PM

JJStryder in Realville replied:

I couldn't disagree with you more. Beck has made money, but he also funds many charities with his work. Your disdain should be toward the self proclaimed guardians of mankind on the left. Beck isn't raising your taxes, telling you what light bulbs to use or ruining your country. He practices and believes in free will. Self flagellation of free market conservative voices doesn't focus on the source of Americas problems. You need to read Burt more often.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:44 PM

Dave Eichler in North Pole, Alaska replied:

I have no disdain, but merely agree that building a network of mainstream media would be more effective than "The Blaze". For the reasons presented.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 1:37 PM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

JJ: Thanks. For a while there, wasn't sure to whom you were responding.

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 4:56 PM

JJStryder in Realville said:

Burt: Reincarnation wouldn't be fair to the parents either. Could you imagine if we were reincarnated remembering our previous lives? What utter bores babies and children would be. What about the poor parents of a reincarnated Adolf?
Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:34 PM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

JJ: We agree. The whole notion makes no sense at all, as if it wasn't bad enough having to live through junior high school once!

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 12:43 PM

Old Desert Rat in Las Vegas, NV said:

Reread your columns this am. "If you're anything like me, ...." Reminded me of the comedian David Brenner. He said, My parents accepted me for what I was, a curse from God. He was so witty.....miss him.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 3:23 PM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

ODR: I once interviewed Brenner. It didn't go well. Not at all witty, amusing or friendly, in person. At least not to this person.

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 4:58 PM

Howard Last in Wyoming replied:

Burt, with the list of actors and actresses mentioned by Bob, Robert and yourself, it appears you and they made my point about not going to a movie in over 20 years. I did not miss anything. Of the ones mentioned only two do I recognize and that was by accident. I walked into the room when my wife had Leno on one night and he had Carry as a guest. It took all of a few seconds to realize he was a total a$$. The other was Lopez when my wife had American Idol (a total waste) on and saw her. The time rearranging my sock draw was well spent.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 5:50 PM

L.L. Smith in Savannah, Tn. said:

Burt: I have told my family to put on my tombstone,"I voted against it. I had rather be here as there".

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 4:14 PM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

L.L.: Reminds me that on the tombstone of W.C. Fields, it allegedly says, "All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 4:59 PM

Ct-Tom in NC replied:

Burt: Fields' real epitaph--the one on his grave--is simply “W. C. Fields 1880 – 1946,″ though I wish it actually was the one you state. That was one of several he joked about, including my favorite: "Better here than Philadelphia." The epitaph I like most of all is, "I told you I was sick," though it has nothing to do with Fields.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 5:30 PM

Kevin from Arkansas in USA replied:

One of my favorites:

Sacred to the memory of
My husband
John Barnes
Who died January 3, 1803.
His comely young widow, aged 23,
has many qualifications of a good wife,
and yearns to be comforted.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 6:06 PM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

Ct-Tom: That's my favorite, too.

Burt

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 8:56 PM

Allen in Indy said:

Burt, the reason people try to convert you, is that they care about you and they like you. Consider it a compliment!

Thursday, December 27, 2012 at 12:07 AM

Burt Prelutsky in North Hills, CA replied:

Believe me, Allen, in most cases I do take it as a compliment. I'd only consider it in a different light if it was an Islamist because I'd know it was a case of conversion or else! Happy New Year.

Best, Burt

Thursday, December 27, 2012 at 12:47 AM