The Right Opinion

Why Does Anyone Need to Read About Celebrities?

By Ann Coulter · Feb. 28, 2013

Having given up on trying to persuade Americans that taking guns away from law-abiding citizens will reduce the murder rate, Democrats have turned to their usual prohibitionary argument: “Why does anyone need (an assault weapon, a 30-round magazine, a semiautomatic, etc., etc.)?”

Phony conservative Joe Manchin, who won his U.S. Senate seat in West Virginia with an ad showing him shooting a gun, said, “I don't know anyone (who) needs 30 rounds in a clip.”

CNN's Don Lemon, who does not fit the usual profile of the avid hunter and outdoorsman, demanded, “Who needs an assault rifle to go hunting?”

Fantasist Dan Rather said, “There is no need to have these high-powered assault weapons.”

And prissy Brit Piers Morgan thought he'd hit on a real showstopper with, “I don't know why anyone needs an assault rifle.” Of course, where he comes from, policemen carry wooden sticks.

Since when do Americans have to give the government an explanation for why they “need” something? If that's the test, I can think of a whole list of things I don't know why anyone needs.

I don't know why anyone needs to burn an American flag at a protest. The point could be made just as well verbally.

I don't know why anyone needs to read about the private lives of celebrities. Why can't we shut down the gossip rags?

I don't know why anyone needs to vote. One vote has never made a difference in any federal election.

I don't know why anyone needs to bicycle in a city.

I don't know why anyone needs to have anal sex at a bathhouse. I won't stop them, but I don't know why anyone needs to do that.

I don't know why anyone needs to go hiking in national parks, where they're constantly falling off cliffs, being buried in avalanches and getting lost – all requiring taxpayer-funded rescue missions.

I don't know why Karen Finley needs to smear herself with chocolate while reading poems about “love.” But not only do Democrats allow that, they made us pay for it through the National Endowment for the Arts.

In fact, I don't know why anyone needs to do any of the things that offend lots of people, especially when I have to pay for it. I don't mind paying for national monuments and the ballet, but if “need” is a legitimate argument, there's no end to the activities that can be banned, forget “not subsidized by Ann.”

Democrats are willing to make gigantic exceptions to the “need” rule for things they happen to personally like. Their position is: “I don't know why anyone needs to hunt; on the other hand, I do see why your tax dollars should be used to subsidize partial-birth abortion, bicycle lanes and the ballet.”

They'll say that no one died in my examples (except abortion) (and bicycling) (and bathhouses) (and national parks), but the victims of mass shootings weren't killed by gun owners. They were killed by crazy people.

How about keeping guns out of the hands of crazy people?

Liberals won't let us do that – and yet they won't tell us why anyone needs to live on sidewalk grates, harass pedestrians and crap in his pants. Those are precious constitutional rights, straight from the pen of James Madison, and please stop asking questions.

“I don't see why anyone needs …” is code for: “I don't do it, so let's ban it.” The corollary is: “I enjoy this, so you have to subsidize it.”

Environmentalists say: “I don't know why anyone needs to shower once a day – my French friends and I take two showers per month. We think we smell fine.”

That's the difference between a totalitarian and a normal person. Liberals are obsessed with controlling what other people do.

As Sen. Dianne Feinstein said this week, so-called “assault weapons” are a “personal pleasure” and “mothers and women” have to decide whether this personal pleasure “is more important than the general welfare.”

The “general welfare” is every tyrant's excuse, going back to Robespierre and the guillotine. Free people are not in the habit of providing reasons why they “need” something simply because the government wants to ban it. That's true of anything – but especially something the government is constitutionally prohibited from banning, like guns.

The question isn't whether we “need” guns. It's whether the government should have a monopoly on force.

In liberals' ideal world, no one will even know you don't have to wait 22 minutes for the police when someone breaks into your home, there are toilets that can get the job done on one flush, food tastes better with salt, and you can drive over 55 mph and get there faster.

Meanwhile, we're all required to subsidize their hobbies – recycling, abortion, the “arts,” bicycling, illegal alien workers, etc.

Liberals ought to think about acquiring a new hobby: leaving people alone.



Rod in USA said:

Nicely done as usual.

You know, I get images of society as depicted in Glenn Beck's "Agenda 21" novel, the movies "Demolition Man" and "Escape from New York". Ayn Rand was right....

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 8:09 AM

Joan in Dayton,Ohio replied:

Did you know Ayn Rand was atheist? I read Atlas Shrugged and couldn't understand why I was not loving her book, after hearing how great it was. Finally I did some research and found out she is atheist, then I understood why her book sounded like a thousand page diatribe. She refers to christians as spiritual mystics.

Friday, March 1, 2013 at 4:29 AM

Orf in Pittsburgh replied:

Yeah, you can argue about her lack of religion, but her take on socialism/communism is right on.

Friday, March 1, 2013 at 5:32 PM

rab in jo,mo said:

So Dianne Feinstein considers "assault weapons" a "personal pleasure" (what's she do with these things anyway?) and "mothers and women" have to decide whether this personal pleasure "is more important than the general welfare."

Apparently, in Di Fi's Bizarro World, promiscuous sex isn't a "personal pleasure" and "...women" shouldn't have to decide if this personal pleasure is more important than the unborn child that is murdered when the promiscuous sex results in abortion?

Sorry, Dianne, you want my AR15's and AKs? Don't send your minions, YOU come personally and try to take them. I'll show you exactly why I have them, you pompous ass.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 9:08 AM

needless in oh said:

Ann, your list is far too short - too short to be addressed in your (as usual) excellent column. Other things we don't "need".....
We don't "need" overpaid, under-worked, over-pensioned, over-winded members of the Senate, members of the House, bureaucrats and a full-time golfer-in-chief. Because of these things we have that we don't "need" is the best reason I can think of to have a real need for the best, most accurate, most reliable weapon, high-powered, high-capacity weapon that we can afford.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 9:57 AM

needless in oh replied:

Oops! didn't need "weapon" after most reliable. Then again, can you really have enough weapons?

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 10:01 AM

rab in jo,mo replied:

AR's are like potato chips, can't have just one.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 1:35 PM

Ready4AChange in Illinois said:

Great article Ann! I don't NEED the government telling me what to do - I can manage on my own - thanks anyway.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 11:15 AM

KirkAdams in Elkton, MD said:

Great article. We need to start a group to push to stop subsidies of rich people's hobbies. Problem is, Republican’s never phrase the arguments in a way that would resonant with the low information voters.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 11:57 AM

Libertas in People's Republic of Minnesota said:

Spot on, Ann. It boils down to this: "That's the difference between a totalitarian and a normal person. Liberals are obsessed with controlling what other people do." - By FORCE OF LAW, I might add.

From now on, I am going to refer to them as TOTALITARIANS, because that's what progressives are, however nicely they may put lipstick on themselves, they're still pigs. TOTALITARIAN PIGS.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 12:37 PM

Doktor Riktor Von Zhades in Western KY replied:

And to quote Orwell, All pigs are equal, some more than others....

Friday, March 1, 2013 at 10:24 AM

wjm in Colorado said:

People read about the treasonous celebities for the same reason they can't look away from a train wreck.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 2:23 PM

ArmyofOne in MN said:

Assault (offensive) Weapons: (Jets, drones, missiles, tanks, arrows, spears, guns, knives, bats, bricks, tire irons, scissors, scalpels, etc)... high power, or low power, are weapons used by criminals: i.e. individuals, gangs, tyrants, government, etc to commit illegal, un-constitutional, or immoral activities.

Defense (defensive) Weapons: The same weapons as above, but are used by law abiding patriots, to defend against the above criminals! (i.e. individuals, gangs, tyrants, government, etc)

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 4:10 PM

TOD-the tool guy in Brooklyn N.Y. said:

Good idea Mark. Fire O'Zilla & Biden, and we save 800,000 on salaries. Make air Force One a paper airplane, and save more $$$. Fire Dingy Harry, Feinstein, Murray, Schumer, Nadler, Jarrett, LaHood, Sebelius, Axelrod-the Communist, McCaskill, Schultz, Gillebrand, Leahy, Levin, Cusinnich-the Kook, Kerry, Lew-the Looloo, and Hagal, for starters!

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 8:17 PM

Parker in PA said:

Can I just say how right Ann Coulter is. I would like to say something to Ann personally. Ann Coulter, I can not begin to explain what an insperation you are. I find you so incredibly smart, wise, and may i just say that you are freakin hilarious. You're so amazing and you foot note everything. I am 16 years old, and even I can win a debate with anyone of those Liberal yahoos on the evning news. I hope one day I honor of meeting you in person. Ann Coulter, YOU ROCK!!!!

Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 10:13 PM

Joan in Dayton,Ohio said:

Being born and raised in the south I grew up with guns in the house. Then married a southern man who had the house full of guns,so I don't pay too much attention to them. I did want to say about the adulation of celebrities, most of America is middle class and will never leave the states, but I have visited Paris in the early 1930's, though Hemingway, Fitzgerald, and Miller. I've been to Russia through Tolstoy. We can go anyplace in the world, and never leave our house with a book or movie. Jackie Kennedy was revered and emulated by women all over America. They set styles for hair, fashion and many other aspect of life. People name children after them. I heard a lady in a store calling her child Angelina Jolie. Children, adolescents and young adults need mentors. We hope it's somebody worthy. The wealthy and those in the spotlight are going to be watched and if they can't take it they need to get out of the spotlight. For those who stay in the public eye, lets hope most can set good examples. Elvis loved his fans and always finished his shows with I Can't Help Falling In Love With You.

Friday, March 1, 2013 at 4:12 AM

Joan in Dayton,Ohio said:

Some of the people I admire. Abigail Adams. Wife and Chief Adviser to the President, also Mother of a President, Susan B.Anthony, for women's suffrage, Florence Nightingale for Nursing Schools, Mother Teresa, for living what she taught, Joan of Arc, for France, Cleopatra for uniting Egypt and Rome, Queen Elizabeth l for changing England to a Protestant Nation, Jackie Kennedy for climbing on the back of a car to retrieve a piece of the President's skull, Hemingway Leo Tolstoy.The Bronte Sisters, Joyce Carol Oats,a Professor at Princeton and Author. Raphael for his red haired angel paintings. Michelangelo for the Sistine Chapel and The Pieta, Rodin for The Kiss, Meryl Streep for Sophie's Choice and The Deer Hunter, Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Marlon Brando, Francis Ford Coppola for The Godfather, Steven Spielberg, Ridley Scott, Oliver Stone, Martin Scorsese, Ang Lee and Quentin Tarantino, Elvis Presley for being the King of Rock and Roll. Aretha Franklin for being the Queen of Soul, Watchman Nee for giving his life to bring the Gospel to China. Witness Lee for bringing Nee's Gospel to the US. America for sending out 3/4's of the worlds missionaries.

Friday, March 1, 2013 at 12:59 PM