September 3, 2013

A Vanity War

In Hollywood there is something known as a “vanity film.” Vanity films are oh-so-important projects done by oh-so-serious actors and directors with a burning urge to do something “deeply moving” and “important,” something that allows them to stretch their talents to the very limits of the creative envelope. The result? Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, an overwrought, pretentious snore of a movie, virtually impossible to watch. And the reason they are called vanity films is because no producer in his right mind would finance these money-losing paeans to rampant narcissism.

In Hollywood there is something known as a “vanity film.” Vanity films are oh-so-important projects done by oh-so-serious actors and directors with a burning urge to do something “deeply moving” and “important,” something that allows them to stretch their talents to the very limits of the creative envelope.

The result? Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, an overwrought, pretentious snore of a movie, virtually impossible to watch. And the reason they are called vanity films is because no producer in his right mind would finance these money-losing paeans to rampant narcissism.

I bring this up because America is on the precipice of a Vanity War. It is one being contemplated by our Narcissist-in-Chief, who painted himself a Big Red Line and dared a sicko thug like Assad to step across it. Not that Bashar was in any hurry to do so. He was doing quite well exterminating more than a hundred thousand of his fellow Syrians using far more conventional methods of death-dealing, all of which were acceptable to the international elitists who now wring their hands in calculated dismay. Apparently, bombs, bullets, napalm, decapitation, rape and the indiscriminate slaughter of men, women and children all lie within limits of the Marquess of Queensbury rules for unrestrained savagery, while gassing people does not. Hence, the newfound high dudgeon of our betters.

I suppose it would be indelicate to mention that while many of us have known for quite some time that Bashar Assad was a thug, some of our betters did not. Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton labeled Assad a “reformer” in 2011. In 2007, current Secretary of State John Kerry predicted that “Syria will change as it embraces a legitimate relationship with the United States.” The same year, former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi promised us that “the road to Damascus is a road to peace.”

Clinton is hiding out, scared to death this little speed bump might come back to haunt her run for the Oval Office in 2016. John “Ghengis Khan” Kerry, who sold out his fellow Vietnam vets at the Winter Soldier hearings, is now a hawk’s hawk, and Pelosi remains as clueless as ever. “What Assad has done is outside the realm of basic human rights,” said Nan. “On this evening’s call, [to the president] I expressed my appreciation for the measured, targeted and limited approach the President may be considering.”

If one could define the Harvard faculty lounge approach for engaging in useless hostilities, one would be hard-pressed to come up with something better than “measured, targeted and limited.” Charlie Krauthammer brilliantly illuminated what such blather really means. “Having leaked to the world, and thus to Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, a detailed briefing of the coming U.S. air attack on Syria – (1) the source (offshore warships and perhaps a bomber or two), (2) the weapon (cruise missiles), (3) the duration (two or three days), (4) the purpose (punishment, not "regime change”) – perhaps we should be publishing the exact time the bombs will fall, lest we disrupt dinner in Damascus,“ Krauthammer writes.

Apparently there are worse things to disrupt. On Saturday, purportedly having given the matter further thought – political, not moral – the president decided that Congress should be in the loop regarding such a momentous decision. Not Congress called into an emergency session, due to the urgency of the matter. Congress, when it gets back from recess on September 9. Congress as window dressing, even as the president reserves the right to completely ignore whatever they decide. After this stroke of genius, off to the golf course with Joe Biden.

A tee time must be kept. A Vanity War can be prosecuted whenever the president has another opening in his schedule.

Not that I think we should do anything in Syria, except root for a long drawn out, ordnance-depleting, Iranian and Russian resource wasting, Islamist herd-thinning tie. The alternative? Taking al Qaeda’s side against the Butcher of Damascus. Backing the greater savage to "send a message” to the lesser savage. The fallback excuse for such nonsense? Sending a “greater message” to the Iranians regarding their quest for a nuclear weapon. The same Iranians who have ignored Obama’s “brilliance” for five years.

It doesn’t get any vainer than that.

Ominously, the entire world has finally figured out what half of America still can’t see: the most powerful man on the planet is a shallow, fundamentally unserious fraud. He is the epitome of leftist convictions, which is to say he has no convictions at all, only situational calculations. The shallowness of such calculations was illuminated by none other than Obama’s former campaign manger, David Axelrod. “Big move by POTUS,” Davey tweeted. “Consistent with his principles. Congress is now the dog that caught the car. Should be a fascinating week!”

In other words, our “principled” president, who never met an executive order he didn’t like, can use Congress to cover his behind.

And so we have reached the point where unbridled cynicism is being trumpeted as constitutional statesmanship by a hack like Axelrod and his fellow travelers, all of whom couldn’t give a rat’s rear end about either. It is about Obama emerging unscathed from a debacle of his own making, utterly irrespective of how Congress votes – nothing more, nothing less. And like a vanity movie, the actual costs, in terms of human life, an unanticipated regional conflagration, America’s standing on the world stage, or the gross ineffectiveness of that which is being contemplated – the Syrians have now been given ample time to prepare for any eventuality – are all irrelevant. Vanity, above all else, must be served.

Hence, a Vanity War. Coming soon, to a (Middle East) theater (of war) near you.

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