The Patriot Post® · Hey, Dude

By Burt Prelutsky ·
https://patriotpost.us/opinion/25604-hey-dude-2014-05-18

I was delighted that by a 5-4 margin, the Supreme Court recently decided it was constitutional for city governments, such as the one in Greece, NY, to open its public meetings with a prayer. It’s not that I’m religious, but I am always happy to recognize and praise commonsense on those rare occasions I encounter it.

Speaking of the Court, I wrote a letter to Chief Justice John Roberts a couple of months ago. I was waiting for him to respond before sharing it, but he seems to be preoccupied with other matters, which, I suspect, includes dealing with Sonia Sotomayor’s hissy fits. Boy, talk about your sore losers!

Dear Chief Justice Roberts: By way of introduction, I am a conservative who has spent nearly two years defending your shocking vote on the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act.

As I saw it, your vote, which gave your daffy colleagues a 5-4 margin of victory, was dictated by a number of things having nothing to do with its constitutionality. One, having seen the consternation over Roe v. Wade and the Court’s ruling in George Bush’s favor in the 2000 presidential election, you didn’t wish to embroil the Court in yet another controversy, one that would overturn legislation passed by the majority in the House and the Senate, even though the vote was along strictly partisan lines.

For another thing, you were well aware that the 2012 presidential election was just a few months off, and you decided that if ObamaCare was as unpopular as it appeared to be, the people would elect Mitt Romney and perhaps a GOP majority in the Senate, and they would quickly move to repeal it.

I would appreciate it if you would either confirm or deny my theory. I hope I haven’t misjudged you during all this time, and that you didn’t really believe the bill was constitutional in spite of the very thing that Obama and the Democrats denied it was; namely, a tax.

And as long as I have your attention, who exactly would have the necessary standing to bring Obama’s three dozen arbitrary – and unconstitutional – changes to his signature piece of legislation before the Supreme Court?

Keep up the usually good work. Regards, Burt Prelutsky

A reader of mine wondered if Barack Obama gave a speech in the middle of the woods and there was nobody there to hear it, would he still lie? My guess is that he would, or if he was otherwise occupied on the golf links, Jay Carney would lie for him. Their motto, after all, seems to be “practice, practice, practice.”

Abubakar Shakar, the leader of Nigeria’s major terrorist group, which recently kidnapped over 250 school girls, has made a video on which he announced, “I abducted your girls. I will sell them in the market, by Allah.”

In the meantime, the man Obama recently invited to the White House and is proud to call a friend, the Sultan of Brunei, just announced that he is introducing Sharia Law in a nation where 20% of the population is not even Muslim. Therefore, we can soon expect to hear that infidels by the truckload are being stoned to death, along with adulterers, homosexuals and, no doubt, anyone caught reading a book, painting a picture or practicing the Meringue.

I realize I’m asking for a miracle, but wouldn’t it be swell if just once some Muslim, any Muslim, would say or do something decent in the name of Allah?

When ex-White House spokesperson Tommy Vietor paid a visit to Bret Baier’s “Special Report,” and was asked about the role he played in changing the talking points about the Benghazi massacre, which laid the blame for the deaths of four Americans on some silly video, he feigned forgetfulness and then, under Baier’s prompting, explained, “Dude, we’re talking about two years ago.”

It should be pointed out that Vietor, he of the short attention span, started out driving the press van for Senator Obama, and apparently did such a great job of parallel parking that President Obama couldn’t wait to make him the mouthpiece for the National Security Council. To be fair, I suppose when a 33-year-old is still calling himself Tommy, instead of Thomas or Tom, you have to expect he’s going to still be calling grown-ups “Dude.”

On the other hand, Obama, who’s in his 50s, never refers to “people,” “ladies and gentlemen” or, God forbid, “my fellow Americans.” With him, it’s always “folks.” It’s his typically heavy-handed way of pretending that, in spite of all the pricey vacations that he and the missus take on our dime, and all the time he spends hobnobbing with the superrich at his non-stop fund raisers, he’s really just another regular guy. Or “dude,” if you prefer.

Although, I think “dud” is more like it.