With the next presidential election less than two years away, it’s not too soon to get a few things straight. Although Reince Priebus has already mentioned some worthwhile changes in the way we end up with a nominee, including a shorter campaign season, an earlier convention and a ban on liberals moderating the debates, there are a few more items I would suggest.

First of all, before allowing any of the GOP hopefuls to take the stage, I would insist they sign a contract vowing to actively support the eventual nominee. Next, I would insist they all honor Ronald Reagan’s 11th Commandment, not to speak ill of a fellow Republican. After all, when it comes to insulting politicians, none of them do it as well as I, and they should leave it to the professionals.

For another thing, there is a better way to show that you differ from, say, Rick Santorum or Chris Christie, without calling the first a sanctimonious creep or pointing out that the latter helped Obama win in 2012 by doing everything after Hurricane Sandy but promising to have his baby.

Finally, I would require every potential candidate to drop out of the competition if, after half a dozen primaries, they hadn’t won any. The only thing that results from people like Newt Gingrich hanging around is that it depletes the GOP war chest and it gives Democrats additional time in which to make the eventual nominee as toxic as West Africa.

In other words, it is high time we started taking the process seriously and not simply roll out the welcome mat for every mediocrity who seeks the spotlight the way a moth seeks the flame.

Just when you think how lucky we are to have Canada as a next door neighbor, they go out of their way to drive the point home. I mean, here is a nation led by a brilliant conservative prime minister named Stephen Harper, but you don’t see them rubbing in the fact that they have Harper at the helm and we’re stuck with our own Captain Ahab, who’s obsessed with harpooning America. Instead, lest we feel totally demoralized, Toronto re-elects crack cocaine addict Rob Ford to the city council. It’s as if Canada is saying, “See? We’re not so darn perfect.”

Frankly, I’m amazed that there are still people who doubt that Hillary Clinton will be running in 2016. Normal kids start out thinking they want to be firemen or cowboys, rock stars or famous models, but Hillary has wanted to be President since she took her first baby steps. Her first words, I can assure you were not “mama” or “dada,” but “Me want power.”

A question that recently occurred to me was whether Obama ever played golf before he became president and no longer had to pay the greens fee. We all know that in his pathetic attempt to pass for an American, he smoked a lot of dope and played a great deal of basketball. But when did he take up golf? And is there an amendment to the Constitution I’m unaware of that dictates that everyone who occupies the Oval Office has to spend so many hours a week working on his swing?

Speaking of the twit in the White House, over the years I have often heard people say “Obama” when they meant to say “Osama,” and vice versa. Lately, I keep hearing them confuse “Obama” and “Ebola,” and vice versa. I used to think it was just an embarrassing coincidence, but I’m beginning to think not.

With West Africa so much in the news lately, I’m beginning to think that after exporting Obama, AIDS and Ebola, it might be time to quarantine the whole damn continent.

Just as a sign of good faith, wouldn’t it be nice if once in a while race hustlers like Eric Holder, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, stopped ganging up on white people and, instead, took a moment to say a few honest words about the late Michael Brown? Whatever else may have transpired between him and Officer Darren Wilson, we know the 320-pound thug was high on marijuana and had just shoved around a store clerk while ripping off a box of cigars.

Or if that’s asking for too much, perhaps they could find it in their hearts to chastise the other black hoodlums in Ferguson, MO, who took advantage of a tense situation in order to rob, burn and vandalize? Or perhaps they might take a moment out of their busy lives to admonish the black Muslims who have recently been murdering soldiers and cops in Canada and New York?

While appearing on Megyn Kelly’s Fox show, John Coleman, founder of the Weather Channel and world renown climatologist, not only labeled global-warming an enormous hoax, but revealed that Al Gore, who has made a billion dollars off his part in promoting the con, took one science class in college…and received a D. How’s that for an inconvenient truth?

Finally, 17 years after taking up residence under Bill Clinton’s desk, Monica Lewinsky, 41, wants the world to know that her feelings were hurt when, among other things, she was called a whore, a tramp, a slut, a tart, a bimbo, a floozy, a skank and a spy.

Even I can understand why she would have been upset. She definitely wasn’t a spy.