December 24, 2014

Kim Jong-Un, Movie Critic

I’ve had some bad months in my life, but none has been quite as gruesome as the one that Sony just endured. First, there was the leak of those embarrassing emails in which uber-producer Scott Rudin trashed Angelina Jolie, and Sony head Amy Pascal made racist comments about Obama’s taste in movies. Ms. Pascal made it even worse by then going to Al Sharpton, begging him for dispensation. Frankly, I’d fire her for that alone. If Rudin and Pascal have one reason to envy me, it’s that I can never be embarrassed by leaked emails. You see, whenever I have a politically incorrect thought to share, I don’t waste it in an email; I work it into an article. Anyway, as bad as the leaks were, the studio made things worse when it backed down in the face of North Korean threats. I guess Sony was afraid that Kim Jong-un was going to have his pal Dennis Rodman set off stink bombs if “The Interview” was released. Frankly, judging by earlier Seth Rogen comedies, I’m sure this one didn’t need any help when it came to stinking up movie houses.

I’ve had some bad months in my life, but none has been quite as gruesome as the one that Sony just endured. First, there was the leak of those embarrassing emails in which uber-producer Scott Rudin trashed Angelina Jolie, and Sony head Amy Pascal made racist comments about Obama’s taste in movies. Ms. Pascal made it even worse by then going to Al Sharpton, begging him for dispensation. Frankly, I’d fire her for that alone.

If Rudin and Pascal have one reason to envy me, it’s that I can never be embarrassed by leaked emails. You see, whenever I have a politically incorrect thought to share, I don’t waste it in an email; I work it into an article.

Anyway, as bad as the leaks were, the studio made things worse when it backed down in the face of North Korean threats. I guess Sony was afraid that Kim Jong-un was going to have his pal Dennis Rodman set off stink bombs if “The Interview” was released. Frankly, judging by earlier Seth Rogen comedies, I’m sure this one didn’t need any help when it came to stinking up movie houses.

For weeks on end, every news report claimed that North Korea was allegedly behind the hacking. Allegedly? I kept wondering who the other suspects might be. Who else might object to the chubby guy with the bad haircut being humiliated on the world’s movie screens? Luxembourg? Monaco? The Vatican? The word, itself, has become something of a joke. Simply because nobody has stood up, like on an old “Perry Mason” episode, and confessed in open court, doesn’t automatically turn the perfectly obvious into the alleged.

Considering how little it took to make Sony chicken out, we shouldn’t expect to see a comedy in which the Ayatollah Khomeini mistakenly eats a ham sandwich, thus damning his soul to the eternal flames any time soon.

Still, if I have to choose between an administration run by either Amy Pascal or Barack Obama, I’ll take Amy. As dumb as she may be, I doubt if she would explain reopening diplomatic relations with Cuba by saying that “If you keep doing the same thing for 50 years and not getting anywhere, it’s time to try something new.” After all, if Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Carter, Reagan and Bush, hadn’t realized that there should never be a time table when it comes to doing the right thing, the Soviet Union might have won the Cold War.

When asked if this détente meant that Raul Castro might soon be visiting the Obamas, Liar-in-Chief Josh Earnest didn’t say yes and he didn’t say no. Instead, he said that Castro wouldn’t be the first Communist leader who has ever set foot in the White House. And, so far as I know, he wasn’t referring to Barack Obama.

In other Washington news, the Pentagon has decided that simply because someone is a member of the Taliban doesn’t mean he’s an enemy of ours. Heck, no. Not when the EU decides that Hamas isn’t even a terrorist organization. And not when you have Obama rushing to the financial aid of a dictatorship in Cuba that is barely hanging on because its two major sponsors, Russia and Venezuela, are suffering the effects of freefalling oil prices.

Speaking of boneheads, the one person who agrees with the EU when it comes to Hamas is our own Jimmy Carter, who followed up four disastrous years in the White House by spending the next 34 years reminding us of the debt the nation owes Ronald Reagan for giving the sanctimonious creep his walking papers.

It seems that once, when asked why he believed Hamas was a group dedicated to peace even though its charter calls for wiping Israel off the face of the earth, Carter replied that when he met with its leaders, he gave them DVDs that featured pacifists like Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi, and they thanked him. I guess when you’re an anti-Semite with the brains of a mashed potato, it doesn’t take much to persuade you that the killers of babies and rabbis are the good guys.

It also doesn’t hurt when most of the money donated to build your presidential library was contributed by Arabs and Muslims, grateful that a former U.S. president would condemn Israel as an apartheid state, while turning a blind eye to those dedicated to murdering Christians as well as Jews.

As for Gandhi the pacifist, let the record show that he hated African blacks, was an anti-Semite and, for good measure, chose not to take sides when it came to World War II. Respect him if you like, but where I come from it takes more than wearing an adult diaper to prove you’re one of God’s nobler creatures.

Finally, I should let you know that I have received several emails from people affiliated with the Wounded Warrior Project. They claim that I slandered the enterprise when I shared a report that indicated that they misspent a sizable portion of the charitable contributions they receive on things other than wounded warriors.

If the report I quoted didn’t have the numbers right, I sincerely apologize. But even the new set of numbers didn’t really change my overall opinion. I should explain that, except for the Salvation Army, I don’t entirely trust big name charities. I’m not saying they’re dishonest. What I am suggesting is that once an organization is taking in well over a hundred million dollars a year, you’ll inevitably find that it’s spending a huge amount on inflated salaries, travel, promotion and general overhead. I’m not claiming that anyone is fiddling with the funds. It just strikes me that donating to major charities is a lot like sending tax dollars to the federal government and expecting the money to be spent prudently.

Perhaps I’m naïve, but it seems to me that, like the Salvation Army, which relies mainly on volunteers, the Wounded Warrior Project could call on millions of older Americans, especially patriotic veterans, to volunteer to do a lot of the heavy lifting. It seems to me that would save millions of dollars that could then be spent exactly the way the donors intended, to serve the needs of those brave Americans who sacrificed so much on our behalf.

And now it’s time for one last poll before the end of the year. I would like to know which Fox News personality, be it a host or a regular contributor, is your favorite and who is your least favorite. Please send the two names to me as soon as possible at [email protected].

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