The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store

By Argus Hamilton ·
https://patriotpost.us/opinion/32006-from-the-comedy-store-2014-12-27

Obama took off for Hawaii on a two-week vacation where he will relax with his pals, play golf, watch a lot of football and basketball on TV and catch up on movies. Doesn’t he ever like to change things around? The idea of a vacation is to get away from your day-to-day routine.

Obama completely avoided TV news cameras Wednesday despite rioting in Missouri and New York City over racial tensions between black men and cops. The man needs his rest. Fellow golfers say Obama is a pretty good golfer for a guy who only plays six or seven times a week.

Joe Biden flew to New York to monitor the anti-police protests while Obama remains on vacation in Hawaii. We always said the government that governs least, governs best. Last night Joe Biden stated that he has no plans to see The Interview because he thought Barbara Walters has retired.

The White House struck a deal with Cuba in which the U.S. traded three Cuba spies being held prisoner in the U.S. in exchange for one U.S. spy being held in Cuba. You can’t make it up. The U.S. government cannot even pull off a spy swap without running up a two hundred percent deficit.

Obama lifted the ban on goods imported from Cuba in his announcement that normalized relations with the Castro regime. The lifting of the ban on imported goods from Cuba caused much sadness for liberals. It’s the clearest indication yet that the president hasn’t quit smoking.

As Americans, we don’t know Fidel Castro personally, but we feel like he’s the kind of dictator we could kill in a movie comedy and not be such a crybaby about it.

North Korea’s government accused the Obama Administration of producing the movie The Interview to embarrass Kim Jung Un. Kim’s pride is wounded. Kim Jung Un has been furious ever since North Korean spies returned from the U.S. and told him that Dennis Rodman is not Barack Obama.

Obama deivered remarks to the U.S. Export Council at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building. He revealed plans to spend four hundred million to promote U.S. competitiveness abroad. Obama assured the council that he remains focused upon America’s number-one export: jobs.

The Los Angeles School System let kids out for two weeks without calling it Christmas vacation or Hanukkah in respect for secular objections. The assault on our founding culture never ends. They teach school kids that nobody knows Jesus’s exact birthday because he refused to sign up for Facebook.

Elizabeth Warren surged in Democratic presidential polls. Her past claim of Cherokee blood was ridiculed by tribal leaders. If you think Indians are angry over the Redskins name, wait until Elizabeth Warren is president and the band plays Hail to the Chief whenever she enters the room.

The House of Representatives began its orientation seminar for House freshmen Monday. They attend ethics classes, attend bill-writing seminars and draw tickets for office spaces. The highlight of the week is when they all go on a group trip to Colonial Williamsburg where the lobbyists bid on them.

The NFL pronounced the first season of blood-testing players for Human Growth Hormone to be a success. It took NFL players three years to agree to blood-testing for HGH. Professional athletes generally believe there is a time and place for blood-testing, and that’s at their paternity tests.

The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety gave Toyota five Top Safety Picks in its annual IIHS survey. It graded well as always on its acceleration and maneuverability.On the other hand, anyone who thinks that smoking is the hardest thing in the world to stop has obviously never driven a Toyota.

© Copyright 2014 Argus Hamilton