April 18, 2015

Compromise Is Not an Option

I realize that there are actually some people outside John McCain’s immediate family who regard him as a statesman. They’ve come to that silly conclusion based on the fact that he loved adding his name to legislation proposed by the abominable likes of Russ Feingold and Ted Kennedy. He referred to it as reaching across the aisle, no doubt picturing himself as God on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, reaching down from a heavenly cloud to give life to Adam. Unfortunately, as biologist Richard Dawkins has observed, “When two opposite points of view are expressed with equal intensity, the truth does not necessarily lie halfway between them. It is possible one side is simply wrong.” These days, that’s not just possible, it’s just about guaranteed, which is why people like Mitch McConnell and John Boehner shouldn’t even think about accommodating Democrats. It’s a poker game with marked cards, and the Republicans will not only lose their shirts, pants and underwear, but they will be written off as traitors by those who elected them.

I realize that there are actually some people outside John McCain’s immediate family who regard him as a statesman. They’ve come to that silly conclusion based on the fact that he loved adding his name to legislation proposed by the abominable likes of Russ Feingold and Ted Kennedy. He referred to it as reaching across the aisle, no doubt picturing himself as God on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, reaching down from a heavenly cloud to give life to Adam.

Unfortunately, as biologist Richard Dawkins has observed, “When two opposite points of view are expressed with equal intensity, the truth does not necessarily lie halfway between them. It is possible one side is simply wrong.”

These days, that’s not just possible, it’s just about guaranteed, which is why people like Mitch McConnell and John Boehner shouldn’t even think about accommodating Democrats. It’s a poker game with marked cards, and the Republicans will not only lose their shirts, pants and underwear, but they will be written off as traitors by those who elected them.

Heck, even I would like to pass myself off as open-minded by occasionally being able to agree with liberals about something, about anything. But whether the topic is the criminal justice system, affirmative action, gun control, taxes, labor unions, energy, education, the FCC, the EPA, Vladimir Putin, ISIS, Israel or Iran, they are simply wrong on every issue. As a result, the only way I could pass myself off as fair-minded would be to prove that I, too, am certifiably insane.

Or, as Barry Goldwater summed it up half a century ago: “Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice and moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.” But even back then, the liberals were able to spin those words into something vile, as if they had been spoken by Adolf Hitler or Benito Mussolini.

If you’ve been paying attention to world affairs recently, you will notice a great many leaders on the world stage who seem to be taunting the American voter, reminding us that we really didn’t have to settle for Barack Obama. First and foremost, there was Benjamin Netanyahu addressing Congress and showing us what a real man looks and sounds like. And in case we may have forgotten, that would be a leader who doesn’t hide behind professional liars like Jen Psaki, Marie Harf and Josh Earnest, and who doesn’t limit his interviews to late night comics, partisan hacks or the ludicrous likes of GloZell Green and her Froot Loops.

But there was also President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi, a Muslim, confronting an assembly of Egyptian mullahs, and challenging them to speak out against the butchers whom we’re always being told have hijacked true Islam.

Even the president of Afghanistan, Ashraf Ghani Ahmadtzai, on his recent visit to Washington, expressed gratitude to America for not only the sacrifices of the military, but those of the American taxpayer, on behalf of his nation. One can play the cynic and point out he was over here begging that 9,800 American soldiers be left in Afghanistan to help him ward off the Taliban. But nobody in public life is as cynical as Barack Obama, and I have never heard him sound the slightest bit sincere when praising the military and, God knows, he has never thanked the millions of us he has saddled with an additional eight trillion dollars of debt.

Speaking of liars, do you think, as I do, that Susan Rice must spend her nights tossing and turning, wondering what they’ll tell her to lie about next. First, she took one for the team by going out on five Sunday morning news shows to lie about a video being the cause of the Benghazi massacre. Then she had to choke back the bile and insist that Bowe Bergdahl had “served with honor and distinction” in Afghanistan. What’s next for poor Susie? Will she be called upon to assure Michelle Obama that the new dress doesn’t make her butt look big?

In other news, Rep. Aaron Schock has been forced to resign from Congress over a series of financial misdeeds. I was not the least bit surprised once I discovered that Schock, a Republican from Illinois, was given to posing bare chested for photos in order to show off his six-pack abs. Back when Anthony Weiner first got into trouble and I discovered that he also had photogenic abs, I immediately knew that bum was guilty of something unbelievably tacky.

Politicians are a scurvy bunch at the best of times, but when you come across those who look like they’d be at home on the covers of gay magazines, you know they’ve been spending way too much time in the House gym and probably in the House showers.

Please write this down so you don’t forget it: Politicians are supposed to look like Charles Rangel or Charles Schumer and never like Charles Atlas.

Finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for — the results of the latest Prelutsky Poll, which asked you to name your favorite and least favorite radio talk show host.

There were a few surprises. Perhaps the biggest one was how many people are hosting these shows. In all, there were 26 favorites and 29 least favorites. Of the 26, 14 received only a single vote; of the 29, 18 received just the one vote. So if you happened to mention any of those 32, I can assure you I wrote their name down, but I was the only person besides you who did. I suspect those were hosts who lacked the notoriety that goes with national syndication.

The resounding favorite of the 292 voters was Rush Limbaugh, with 98 votes. He was followed by Mark Levin, 60; Dennis Prager, 36; Mark Steyn, 16; Michael Savage, 16; and Laura Ingraham, 14. Those who received between two andfour votes were Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Lars Larsen, Michael Medved, Hugh Hewitt and Andrew Wilkow.

The lead for the least favorite host went back and forth between Sean Hannity and Michael Savage, but in the end Hannity edged out Savage 66-58. Alan Colmes came in third with 22 votes; followed by Glenn Beck, 20; Mark Levin, 18; Rush Limbaugh, 14; Mike Gallagher, 10; Bill Handel, 8; Hugh Hewitt, 6; Laura Ingraham and Dennis Miller, three each.

Recently, in my constant pursuit of the truth about charities, I urged dog lovers to forget about ever donating to the Humane Society of the United States, which is so corrupt, the Justice Department should be pursuing an indictment, and probably would be if Eric Holder weren’t otherwise occupied waging war on America’s police departments.

I suggested that donations should be sent to Paws and Stripes, which trains service dogs for our injured veterans. Another deserving group is the Guide Dog Foundation for the Blind.

Finally, I had so much fun mimicking “Dear Abby” in a recent article that it occurred to me I could do it on a regular basis if my readers would ask me leading questions. So if you care to take part, send your question to me at [email protected]. Just alert me by typing “Dear Burt” in the subject line, and let me know if you wish to be identified by name if I use your question or if you prefer to remain anonymous and have me refer to you as Puzzled in Pennsylvania or Anxious in Alaska, the way Abigail Van Buren handled it for all those years.

Final note: You needn’t limit your queries to politics. There is, after all, no subject about which I lack an opinion, no matter how misguided it may be.

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