Mr. Prelutsky Doesn't Go to Washington

· Saturday, August 21, 2010

Every so often, one of my readers who has apparently dipped once too often into the cooking sherry wonders why I don’t run for Congress. The short answer is that I don’t want to ever again wear a necktie. I also don’t wish to spend my life going hat-in-hand begging for campaign contributions. Worse yet, what if I actually won the election and then had to listen to Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank mouth off endlessly? Between her nursery school delivery and his lisping, I’m sure I’d soon be popping Excedrin like peanuts.

Instead, I prefer staying home and telling everybody in Washington how to do their jobs better. So, for openers, I would make it a law that every bill would contain only a single item. No more piling on. No more legislation that contains, say, funding for the military with tax dollars for ACORN or an unnecessary bridge or airport named after some partisan hack. As things stand now, every appropriations bill comes loaded with a ton of political pork. When called on it, the weasels in both parties get to say, “Well, I had to support the troops, didn’t I?”

Conservatives who automatically deny that the Arizona immigration law is racially-based are lying. Of course it is, in just the same way that a border wall would be. How can it not be when the millions of people who have snuck into the U.S. are all Hispanics? It makes as much sense to deny that the war on terrorism is directed at Islamics. The problem is that those who favor open borders accuse the rest of us of being racists. That’s the big lie they love to promote. Americans, after all, have no trouble living and working with Hispanics who are here legally.

If the illegals pouring in were Swedes, Germans or Poles, our opposition, which is based on principles and the law, would be the same. The difference is that the very same hypocrites who favor open borders today are the ones who would change their tune overnight if the aliens weren’t Hispanic. The ugly, but unvarnished, truth is that they’re the racists.

Of course the number one racist in America is the fellow who spent 20 years soaking up Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s vicious attacks on white Americans. It’s probably not a coincidence that Barack Obama is also the biggest liar who’s ever sat in the Oval Office. In fact, if his nose grew like Pinocchio’s every time he told a fib, they probably would have had to leave Joy Behar and Sherri Shepherd in the wings in order to make room for the presidential shnoz on “The View.”

The latest proof that in looking for a role model, Obama snubbed George Washington and patterned himself, instead, on a used car salesman was his announcement that he was “surprised, disappointed and angry” when Scotland released Lockerbie bomber Abdel al-Magrahi. It seems that Richard LeBaron, Obama’s deputy head of the U.S. embassy in London let Scotland know a week ahead of the event that the U.S. preferred that Magrahi receive compassionate release than that he be locked up in a Libyan prison for what was supposed to be the final few weeks of his life. The only surprise is that apparently the change in climate did wonders for his health, and Magrahi is now expected to live at least another ten years!

The U.S. government had tried to keep LeBaron’s letter secret on the alleged grounds that it would prevent “frank and open communications with other governments.” I don’t know about you, but to me that sounds like a married man begging his mistress not to spill the beans, lest it prevent future frank and open communications with his wife!

According to Bedford Fall’s George Bailey, every time a bell rang, an angel got his wings. If it worked the same way with lies, an entire division of angels would owe a debt of eternal gratitude to the prevaricator-in-chief.


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Comments

Howard Last

Burt, Maybe you can tell me what is wrong with profiling? It is done all the time. Say the police receive info. on a robbery committed by two tall black men in their twenties driving a pickup. Will the police stop 80 year old white women going to a garden club meeting in a Honda Civic? The only one in a position of power who has his head on straight is Sheriff Joe Arapio (SP).

Posted August 21, 2010 at 12:55:52 PM


Burt Prelutsky

Howard: That's Sheriff Joe and me. Well, come to think of it, I don't really have any power. Which underlines yet another problem with the nation. In an upcoming piece, I insist that eyeballing Muslims at the airport and Hispanics in the border states is, indeed, racial profiling and that it is right and reasonable.

Regards, Burt

Posted August 21, 2010 at 8:55:28 PM


MichaelSSEC

Obama lied about the Pam Am bomber release, and he's lying about Iran's nuclear intentions. Why would we listen to the Prevaricator in Chief when we have Iran's own proud proclamation that they intend to use their nuke toys to "wipe Israel off the face of the Earth." They're not even trying to hide it. They're boasting of it.

When he's not vacation, Obama is working very hard to enable and assist Iran in its nuclear ambition. Why? Because as a disciple of Reverend Wrong, and other hateful radicals in his life, Obama has been taught that white people are the enemy -- and the biggest white enemy of all is the Jew. Obama's just doling out "justice" under his disgusting ideology.

Remember, when Rev. Wrong was asked shortly after Obama's inauguration whether he'd spoken to the President yet, Rev. Jerry laughed bitterly and explained, "Now you know them Jews ain't gonna let me talk to him."

What's got me amazed is the fact that Israel has chosen not to destroy the reactors. Certainly, doing so would have touched off armed confrontation in the region. But not doing so is just as certain to place a mushroom cloud over Jerusalem within a couple of years. It's the radical Muslims' nocturnal emission of all time.

Posted August 22, 2010 at 3:52:23 PM


Atticus Cage

Pretlusky: "...eyeballing Muslims at the airport and Hispanics in the border states is, indeed, racial profiling and that it is right and reasonable."

Me: "Awesome -- there's at least one more writer who can make clear distinctions sans duplicitous excuse making. I am apparently in your choir, Sir, but didn't know it until seeing your work here at Patriot Post. Preach ON!"

Posted August 23, 2010 at 11:57:41 AM


Abu Nudnik

too many ideas in one article, Burt. Stick to the one item bills for one, Obama's nose for another, etc...

There. How do you like being told what to do?

Have some guts. Wear a tie. Fight. Go get into office. Are you really that selfish? We'd have the second voter for the read-the-bill bill that's been dumped year in and year out.

Posted August 23, 2010 at 1:49:30 PM


kevin

Funny how it seems we are the only country that DOESN'T profile for security purposes.

Posted August 23, 2010 at 2:33:34 PM


Dan

"for openers, I would make it a law that every bill would contain only a single item."

So you'd ban all amendments to all bills? Ok...out-of-the-box to say the least.

"Conservatives who automatically deny that the Arizona immigration law is racially-based are lying."

This is breathtakingly honest. Can I quote you on this?

"Of course the number one racist in America is the fellow who spent 20 years soaking up Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s vicious attacks on white Americans."

Uh huh...number one racist, huh? More racist than, I dunno, Mel Gibson?

"It’s probably not a coincidence that Barack Obama is also the biggest liar who’s ever sat in the Oval Office."

Really! We impeached Bill Clinton for lying, and George W. Bush said that our mission was accomplished. And Obama beats them?

"The latest proof that in looking for a role model, Obama snubbed George Washington and patterned himself, instead, on a used car salesman was his announcement that he was “surprised, disappointed and angry” when Scotland released Lockerbie bomber Abdel al-Magrahi. It seems that Richard LeBaron, Obama’s deputy head of the U.S. embassy in London let Scotland know a week ahead of the event that the U.S. preferred that Magrahi receive compassionate release than that he be locked up in a Libyan prison for what was supposed to be the final few weeks of his life."

You need a new copy editor, someone who understands how to punctuate non-restrictive clauses. I'm happy to submit my resume.

"According to Bedford Fall’s George Bailey,"

Your new copy editor should also understand how to use apostrophes to indicates possessives. Again, happy to submit my resume.

Posted August 24, 2010 at 2:22:45 PM


Dan

@MichaelSSEC, can I call you Mr. McNamara?

I see you're back to one of your old tropes: "When he's not vacation, Obama is working very hard to enable and assist Iran in its nuclear ambition."

In a previous post's comments section, I asked you to back up that patently ridiculous assertion. You're free to think that Obama's policies are enabling Iran, but that's not the charge you're making. Rather, you're saying that Obama is TRYING to help Iran. That's an awfully serious charge, and one you refused to back up when I called you on it earlier.

Back it up or back off it.

Posted August 24, 2010 at 2:27:44 PM


Just saying

Dan: "Back it up or back off it." Really? Or what?

Posted August 24, 2010 at 11:26:48 PM


Dan

@Just saying, it's the internet, so this doesn't carry any real threat. "Or be recognized as a paranoid mouth-breather," is the unwritten conclusion, I suppose.

Posted August 25, 2010 at 12:51:33 PM


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