The Patriot Post® · Bitterness Will Kill You

By Roger Helle ·
https://patriotpost.us/articles/124099-bitterness-will-kill-you-2026-01-12

We weren’t close growing up, but he was my baby brother. Looking at his body on the table at the morgue touched something inside. I was angry! We were told he had been killed in a bar fight, but that story went out the window when my other brother and I arrived at the little border town on the Arizona-Mexico border.

My little brother was always angry. Being abandoned by our father when he was a baby left invisible wounds. As he got older, the anger got worse; sometimes he was out of control. Now, murdered at only 22 years of age, he didn’t deserve this.

I was Supervisor of Investigations for a national security and investigations firm. My twin brother Ron and I both had been CID investigators in the Marine Corps. The bar fight story was bogus! Sadly, my little brother’s wife stabbed him in a drunken, one-sided fight. One-sided because he wouldn’t fight her, and it cost him his life. To make matters worse, she wasn’t facing any charges. The more we looked into his death, the madder I got. He had been murdered!

I had a lot of issues after returning home from Vietnam. It seemed there were so many injustices in the world. The more I learned about the cover-up of my brother’s death, the angrier I became. Standing by his casket before his memorial service, I promised myself his wife would one day have an unfortunate accident. She would face justice!

During our “unofficial” investigation of his death, we realized the authorities were actually working against us. There was a cover-up taking place. Then, the memorial service rocked my world! A man walked into the funeral home, saw us, and came right over as if he knew us. He said, “I’m your brother’s pastor, and I want you to know he gave his heart to Christ three weeks ago.” We were stunned! What did that mean?

Then I realized everyone we talked to who knew my brother was telling us what a great guy he was and how he’d do anything for you — even give you the shirt off his back. My brother had only lived in this town a few weeks, so, naturally, we thought he was running some sort of con game. But now it made sense. Something had radically changed his life in a very short period of time.

I finally had to return home, but the hatred was seeping deep into my soul. I already had issues, and this was not helping me at all. I’ve heard it said that holding on to unforgiveness (bitterness and hatred) is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. Within a few months, I was struggling with severe pain in both legs. I chalked it up to my injuries in Vietnam. Later, I realized it was the bitterness I was holding on to. It’s a long story, but a merciful God healed my legs when I had done nothing to deserve it.

You see, that’s what forgiveness does. It frees you from the poison of unforgiveness that will eventually kill you if you don’t let go. It may not kill you in this life, but you will regret it in the next life. God gave me the courage to release the hatred toward the woman who murdered my brother. I had no choice but to forgive her because I had been forgiven of much worse. Life is too short; let go of all the unforgiveness caused by others. Your life will never be the same.

“See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.” (Hebrews 12:15)

Something to pray about!
Semper Fidelis