The Patriot Post® · Thursday Funnies

Seth Meyers: “Obama surprised tourists by walking to a Starbucks near the White House. Even more surprising, he traded five Taliban members for a grande soy latte.”

Seth Meyers: “A Connecticut woman was arrested after she sent her son to school with a grenade for his World War II-related show and tell. Though I’d say the school was asking for trouble when they planned a World War II-related show and tell.”

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Conan O'Brien: “Donald Sterling has reversed his decision to sell the Clippers to Steve Ballmer, the former CEO of Microsoft. If Sterling gets his way, the deal will fall through and Ballmer won’t be able to buy the team. When asked about it, Ballmer said, ‘That’s OK. I’m used to things freezing and then crashing.’”

Conan O'Brien: “It’s been reported that since leaving the White House the Clintons have made over $100 million dollars in speaking fees. Apparently, they’ll speak to anyone but each other.”

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Argus Hamilton: “Hard Choices by Hillary Clinton hit the book stores this week about her time as Secretary of State. She found out Tuesday it’s also the title of a porn movie in the Eighties about a lusty professor and the co-eds in his class. This is the last time she asks her husband for a good book title.”

Argus Hamilton: “The Taliban leaders freed by Obama last week vowed to keep fighting against the U.S. They say they don’t want people who aren’t Muslim in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Obama has tried to accommodate their wishes by only sending in unmanned drones.”

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Frank J. Fleming: “Trying to ban guns could cause a civil war in America. One where only one side has guns. … We don’t actually like guns in this country; we just pretend to so as not to anger them.”