The Patriot Post® · Humor Roundup
Shorter Obama ISIL speech:
Jimmy Fallon: “Obama made a surprise visit to Stonehenge on his way back from the NATO summit in Wales. And even crazier – today he made a surprise visit to the White House.”
Jimmy Fallon: “The Department of Transportation is considering building a new high-speed train that could get people from D.C. to Baltimore in 15 minutes. It gets you out of Washington in 15 minutes – or as President Obama calls that, ‘Still not fast enough.’”
Conan O'Brien: “It actually rained in Los Angeles [this week]. In response to the rain, Apple’s CEO said, ‘See – all clouds occasionally leak!’”
Conan O'Brien: “Obama will make a prime time speech about how we’re going to deal with violent extremists and their sickening behavior. And when he’s done talking about the NFL, he’ll address ISIS.”
Argus Hamilton: “Obama vowed to arm Syrian rebels to fight ISIS. He had a change of heart. Last month he dismissed the rebels as doctors, dentists and pharmacists, but he’s come to realize it’s cheaper to give them the half billion now than pay their bills through ObamaCare.”
Argus Hamilton: “Texas GOP Senator Ted Cruz fired up a conservative convention in Dallas with a tub-thumping speech on Middle East policy. He drew cheers when he proposed bombing ISIS all the way back to the Stone Age. Fine, but what does that set them back, fifteen minutes?”
Frank J. Fleming: “The problem for a modern day military is figuring out how to destroy an evil enemy without hurting their feelings.”
Frank J. Fleming: “Hopefully President Obama can use our military might to intimidate our enemies, as a tank is still scary even if a puppy is driving it.”