The Patriot Post® · The USS Scalise?

> Editor’s note: A little humorous satire — not real news — for our Navy guys.

The Navy has set aside $2.2 billion in its 2020-2022 ship-building budget for the future littoral combat ship USS SCALISE LCS-38. The ship will honor Rep. Steven Scalise (R-LA), who survived being shot by a deranged Bernie Sanders fan earlier this month.

Pressed by reporters on why the Navy would name a warship for a relatively obscure politician, Navy spokesman CDR Davey Jones noted the Navy has a long history of naming ships for politicians who were shot, including USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, USS JOHN F KENNEDY, USS RONALD REAGAN, and most recently USS GABRIELLE GIFFORDS.

Asked whether Scalise was a Navy veteran, what personal relation he had to the Navy, what he had done in Congress to support the Navy, or what meritorious service he had provided to the nation in regard to national defense, CDR Jones deflected the question and said, “It’s very appropriate that LCS 38 be named for someone who has become synonymous with courage, who has inspired the nation with remarkable resiliency and showed the possibilities of the human spirit.” CDR Jones refused to take further questions on the subject and literally ran for the nearest door to escape the throng of reporters shouting questions.

Later in the day the Navy revised its budget to provide $2.5 billion for LCS-38 in anticipation of cost over-runs, while reserving dry-dock space at Newport News Shipyard to handle mechanical problems. LCS-38 will be home ported at New Orleans in Scalise’s district when it is commissioned in 2030.