The Gipper: “The Democrats may remember their lines, but how quickly they forget the lessons of the past.”

Alpha Jackass: “In this Pearl Harbor day, we should remember that the US refused to side with France and UK to confront fascist powers in 1930s.” —French Ambassador Gerard Araud

But the narrative! “If we’re going to go forward with impeachment, I want the American people clearly to understand why that is the case, why it makes sense, why it’s the right thing to do. I don’t think we’re there right now — that’s what the Mueller investigation is all about.” —Bernie Sanders

The BIG Lie: “The worst you can say about Democrats is that they’re too pure.” —Chris Matthews

Hypocrite: “Palestine is an innocent victim… As for Israel, it is a terrorist state.” —Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan

Just like we predicted: “I just watched Al Franken do the honorable thing and resign. My question is, why isn’t Donald Trump doing the same thing?” —Cory Booker

Cute spin: “U.S. job growth increased at a strong clip in November, painting a portrait of a healthy economy that analysts say does not require the kind of fiscal stimulus that President Donald Trump is proposing, even though wage gains remain moderate. … The fairly upbeat report underscored the economy’s strength and could fuel criticism of efforts by Trump and his fellow Republicans in the U.S. Congress to slash the corporate income tax rate to 20 percent from 35 percent.” —Reuters (Does it not occur to the MSM that employers are optimistic for once?)

Late-night humor: “Mark Zuckerberg announced that he is taking a leave from Facebook to spend more time with his daughters. Like everyone who says they’re leaving Facebook, he’ll come back every hour to see how many likes his announcement got.” —Jimmy Fallon