February 1, 2018

Thursday Short Cuts

Belly laugh of the week: “What a great prank! Somebody put glue on half of the seats at State of the Union Address!” —Pat Sajak

Upright: “I heard Nancy Pelosi, before the tax cut was voted on, predicted economic armageddon. It’s just amazing to me that after this tax cut passes, three million Americans get another $1,000 in their pockets in many cases, and she actually described that as ‘crumbs.’ … If you’re going to say that $1,000 is crumbs, you live in a different world than I’m living in.” —Mike Pence

For the record: “I think Nancy Pelosi looks like that all the time. I think she should smile a lot more often. I think the country would be better for it. She seems to kind of embody the bitterness that belongs in the Democrat Party right now.” —Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Regrets, she has a few: “I very much understand the question I’m being asked as to why I let an employee on my 2008 campaign keep his job despite his inappropriate workplace behavior. The short answer is this: If I had it to do again, I wouldn’t.” —Hillary Clinton

Re: The Left: “It takes some guts to publish a 1,500-word Facebook post 20 minutes before the State of the Union explaining why you, Hillary Clinton, feminist hero, didn’t fire a dude for sexually harassing one of your young female staffers despite the fact that everyone in your campaign told you to get rid of him ASAP.” —Sonny Bunch

D'oh! “While I can’t comment yet on what’s in the GOP memo, it is a very misleading spin designed to attack the FBI and the Department of Justice. It has a lot of flaws in it.” —Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA), who just commented on the GOP memo

Alpha Jackass: “[Nikki Haley] seems to have embraced [allegations of an affair with Trump]. All she does is hammer on this fact. … She hasn’t tried to avoid this, let’s say.” —Michael Wolff (Actually, Haley categorically denied the allegations.)

Re: the Left: “I think the guy ought to go to hell. I hope he enjoys the liberties … we have fought for.” —Chief of Staff John Kelly, when asked about a California teacher’s defamatory remarks regarding those who serve in uniform. Gen. Kelly is a retired Marine four-star, whose Marine son was killed in Afghanistan.

And last… “What a great prank! Somebody put glue on half of the seats at State of the Union Address!” —Pat Sajak

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