Political Editors / January 28, 2022

Satire in Brief: Biden’s List of Possible SCOTUS Nominees

The Babylon Bee has obtained the names of the top candidates for Stephen Breyer’s seat.

“Ever since Justice Stephen Bryer announced his retirement from the Supreme Court,” write the humorous sages at The Babylon Bee, “the President has been feverishly sifting through binders full of black women in search of the next great SCOTUS nominee.”

Here’s a few candidates from the Bee’s, er, we mean Biden’s list:

Queen Latifa: She’s black, female, and sassy! That’s a win-win-win scenario.

Michelle Obama: Barack will kill me if I don’t nominate her.

Rachel Dolezal: A woman who is also black.

Whoopi Goldberg: She was a nun. That’ll help me look Catholic! Actually — maybe we can just replace the whole court with The View. Gotta’ ask Jill.

Aunt Jemima: I can’t believe they fired that poor woman. The Pearl Mining Company just wants to keep her in chains!

Mrs. Butterworth: She’s probably black. I can’t tell.

Greta Thunberg: Our court would be well served by this infallible child of light. She’s black, right?

Vladimir Putin: The only way to keep him from invading Ukraine.

Kamala Harris: The only way to keep her from killing me. Plus, she’s black! (Editor’s Note: The word ‘black’ was circled three times)

Oh, and remember Merrick Garland? Neither does Joe Biden.

Read the whole thing here.

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