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Grassroots Commentary

Playgrounds Are Kill Zones

Progressives Are on the Job

Mike Bunch · Oct. 11, 2013

Here’s a headline found on Breitbart Oct 8:

Long Island Middle School Bans Footballs, Baseballs, Cartwheels, Tag

A quote from the article says:

The sissification of America continues: a middle school in Long Island, New York in Nassau County has banned footballs, baseballs, soccer balls, playing tag or doing cartwheels without a coach during recess because the school is concerned middle-schoolers will get hurt.

Thank God the people at Weber Middle School are on the job. We can’t have kids playing with baseballs and such without adequate protection.

Here are some examples of kids wearing protective clothing the school district might consider mandating.

Volleyball Survival Suit
Ready For Tag
Time For A Snack

Note the complete safety presented to the torso, head, and extremities. These suits are lifesaving improvements to such deadly activities as soccer, volleyball, baseball, or any activity that could expose a child to being struck by any round object, and any contact sport like tag.

School districts around the country have shown an unprecedented level of concern for kid’s safety of late, not only in matters of playground safety, but also in the dangerous arena of food items. Using pop tarts or bananas in a threatening way has been widely banned, and, given the trend we are seeing, soon authorities will hopefully turn their attention to other food items, such as jello, which in the right lighting conditions can easily be mistaken for gelignite, and certain fruits like, for instance, a pineapple, the mere sight of which could cause panic due to it’s obvious resemblance to a giant hand grenade. And who knows what exactly is hidden inside that Twinkie?

And anyone with common sense can see the obvious danger posed by unsupervised children handling threatening items like slim jims or those little tiny wax coke bottles filled with syrup. ( I don’t know if they still make those things) If thrown hard enough, they could easily take someone’s head off, and they were perfect for practicing molotov cocktail throwing.

I personally remember the horror of being struck in the face by a volleyball in the seventh grade during PE. The psychological trauma caused by these events often destroys families, and can scar kids for life. I’m very lucky not to have been grotesquely mangled by this event. It’s astonishing how many of us survived middle school without being horribly maimed or killed by the total absence of this level of safety awareness brought by our progressive friends today. We’re all very lucky people.

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