Wednesday Chronicle


Jul. 25, 2001


“Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ruined.” – Patrick Henry


“The American choice – and the right choice – is to ask first if we are doing our duty to those God has willed that we acknowledge as our equals in dignity, and our brothers in the pursuit of happiness.” –Alan Keyes

“We will never recognize the true value of our own lives until we affirm the value of life in others….” –Ronald Reagan

“Those men and women who are urgently concerned for the moral order, and for the survival of a high culture, need to repair to culture’s source –the religious perception of what we are or ought to be….” –Russell Kirk

“It is rightly impossible to govern the world without God and the Bible.” –George Washington

“When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.” –Edmund Burke

“Some might consider him as too fond of fame; for the desire of glory clings even to the best men longer than any other passion.” –Tacitus

“The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.” –Milton Friedman

“The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” –H.L. Mencken


“[Christians] are pretty good with feelings and the heart, but not so good with ideas and facts and knowledge. There is no reason why Christians have to be dumb. They can be well-educated, they can be very smart and they actually have a better starting place than the other side does.” –Phillip E. Johnson

“Too many people pick and choose what they want to believe and call themselves Christians. That has to change.” –Charles Colson

“A free and virtuous society, which America aspires to be, must reject practices that devalue and violate human life at any stage, from conception to natural death.” –Pope John Paul II

“Once we permit human lives to be sacrificed to experimentation, there will be no defensible reason in law, in logic, or in morality why children should not be conceived for the specific purpose of taking their stem cells or any other organ that arguably can help science.” –Ken Connor

“A society without religion and morality is a dangerous society. Who will become its ultimate victims depends entirely on who wields the power and what their eccentricities and prejudices happen to be.” –Charley Reese

“The Declaration of Independence has been called, with some justice, the most revolutionary document in human history, in that it placed the individual person first in the political scheme of things and made the legitimacy of governments and ruling classes contingent on their success at preserving individual rights.” –Alan W. Bock

“And so, it transpires, the Second Amendment was written to protect Americans from the type of despotic government which dominates U.N. conferences.” –Don Feder

“A U.N. conference debating, and possibly voting on, measures proposed by those who seek to disarm American civilians sets a bad precedent. …Those who have lost these battles in the past can’t be allowed to circumvent the process by invoking agreements created by people unaccountable to the American electorate.” –Michael Scardaville

“…[W]hatever the cost in effort and anxiety, resolution and confidence become their own rewards. Courage is worth cultivating.” –Brad Edmonds

“If an honest politician is one who, when bought, stays bought, our elected representatives qualify.” –Joseph Sobran

“Today’s liberal wants an aristocracy of mediocrity.” –Charley Reese

“The carrot-and-stick approach to foreign policy never works; we only end up with dependent allies and increasingly hostile enemies (who resent our failure to fund them).” –Rep. Ron Paul

“The real challenge in building a ballistic missile defense system isn’t engineering – it is political. And that’s because from the administration to the leadership in the Congress, too few are willing to identify the true threats we face.” –Oliver North

“…[C]entral bankers, much like all other central planners, do not routinely possess better information than the market. Acting as if they do only makes things worse.” –J. Bradley Jansen

“Totalitarianism is American liberalism carried to its logical conclusion.” –Charley Reese

“The 1936 games didn’t convert Hitler; the 2008 Olympics won’t convert Zemin. It takes more than a bunch of people playing games to change a tyrant’s heart.” –Chuck Baldwin

“Why should we trust China, North Korea, Iran, or Iraq – brutal dictatorships that place a low premium on human life – to refrain from using their nuclear arsenals against America? And if these countries have no plan to use them, why are they pouring what little resources they have into nuclear missile technology?” –Thomas Krannawitter & Brian Kennedy

“Feminists always have the right to speak. But in all their current apathy and callousness, most feminists have no right to demand they be taken seriously as champions of exploited women.” –Brent Bozell

“A sales or excise tax is consistent with freedom because it establishes no claim to a person’s labor. If a purchase tax becomes too onerous, black markets will emerge to curtail government’s greed.” –Paul Craig Roberts

“Global tax reporting means the demise of individuals, dissent and freedom, and the rebirth of gold coins in the mattress as a favored financial institution.” –Paul Craig Roberts

“If consistency is the rare jewel it’s cracked up to be, we’ve got a diamond mine on Capitol Hill. Congress did not invent sleaze and sordid behavior, but it was refined and perfected on the Hill.” –Wesley Pruden


“A federal marriage amendment would have several advantages over the national marriage policy we are likely to suffer in its absence. It would be more likely to embody sound moral principles; it would be less radical in character; and it would reflect the consensus of the people rather than the whims of the judges.” –National Review


This week’s “Spike” award: “…[W]hat went into the thinking was one, there’s no criminal case. No criminal case.” –Dan Rather on his justification for not running a story on the Condit scandal

This week’s “Leftmedia Eco-theology” Award: “Climate change is the single greatest threat to the survival of the human race of the next 200 to 300 years, and this is a historic day that all of us will remember.” –Michael Meacher, Britain’s Environment Minister on the watered-down Kyoto Protocol agreed to this week by the leaders of the G8 **That notorious English fog has gotten to Mr. Meacher’s brain.

This week’s “Leftmedia Puffery” Award: “Back at home a big win for the President in the House of Representatives which today approved a key part of his agenda, the so-called faith-based plan to funnel more federal money to religious charities.” –Brian Williams **Boys and girls: we’ve learned today that “funneling” means –“Money spent by Republicans on worthwhile things that unfortunately do not expand the welfare state.”

This week’s “Leftmedia Parrot” Award: “The debate about experimenting on human embryos, which might lead to a cure for some very serious diseases, including Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s, has been on the President’s mind for many weeks and has, as you know, become a very intense political as well as a moral argument.” –Peter Jennings on his intro to Mr. Bush’s visit with the Pope.

This week’s “Limo-Lib” Award: “The new Democratic majority in the Senate is struggling to deliver a prescription drug benefit to the elderly of the nation but even the most generous benefits now under consideration will fall far short of what many of the elderly expect, some lawmakers and health policy experts say.” –The New York Times

“I don’t buy that we’re known as the network of sleazy summer programming.” –NBC Entertainment President Jeff Zucker defending “summer reality” TV shows “Fear Factor,” “Spy TV” and “Weakest Link” before the Television Critics Association in Pasadena **No? But he wants advertisers to “buy” that!


“I was just wondering when Strom Thurmond was going to die.” –Mary Frances Berry, chairwoman of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, and author of the commission report on “black disenfranchisement” in the Florida presidential election last year

“But there are probably others that are subject to blackmail as well.” –Senate Demo Leader Tom Daschle on Gary Condit’s continuing service on the House Intelligence Committee and why Condit shouldn’t take a leave from the committee **Names please, Mr. Daschle!

“I have said that I’m not running and I’m having a great time being pres … being a first-term senator.” –Sen. Ms. Hillary (Mrs. Bill Clinton) Rodham-Clinton responding to a question on her presidential ambitions

This week’s “Purveyor of Classism” Award: “We had a fascinating conversation with the man who changed the modern world.” –Washington Post editor Robert Kaiser on his interview with Gorbachev **Memo to the Post, et. al.: Let the record show that the USSR collapsed under Mr. Gorbachev due to the unyielding leadership and determination of one Ronald Reagan.

This month’s “Demo-Goguery” Award: “Let me tell you something. I’m glad we did what was right in ‘93 and I’ll do it again because I believe in being fiscally responsible with the taxpayers’ money.” –House Minority Leader Dick Gephardt on doing what they did in 1993 – raise taxes

From the files of the Morally Challenged: “We’ve alleged that every one of these (Internet filter) products blocks protected speech.” –ACLU attorney Christopher Hansen on Internet filters at public libraries **Last time we checked, James Madison et al. passed the First Amendment to protect “the [read: political] freedom of speech,” not “all freedoms of speech.”


This week’s “Character-Deficit Disorder” Award: “If the police or FBI have anything new they want to discuss, we’re happy to cooperate.” –Marina Ein, a spokeswoman for Gary Condit **Translation: “If the police or FBI have found evidence of further improprieties for which we have already offered a denial, we are happy to change our story.”

“There are no data showing that abstinence-only-until-marriage programs work.” –James Wagoner, of the nonprofit Advocates for Youth, which supports comprehensive sexual education. **Really? We think Bill Bennett got it right when he said, “Abstinence works every time it’s tried.”

This week’s “Heterophobia” Award: “Once again it is promoting the nuclear family headed by a heterosexual couple who are married. The reasons for underage pregnancies are much more complex and often to do with social deprivation, not whether your parents are married or not.” – Margaret Creear of Gingerbread, an English single-parent support organization **Last time we checked, over 75% of U.S. prison inmates came from broken homes where either one or both of the parents were not present.

“Almost everyone complains about violent video games, but paid housecleaning has the same consequence-abolishing effect. … A servant economy breeds callousness.” –Feminista Barbara Ehrenreich **We recall reading somewhere that “the first among you shall be last and last shall be first.”


“I figured an anorexic was just a bulimic with foresight.” –Fred Reed

“In my humble opinion, political correctness has erased that fine line between people who have inferiority complexes and people who are genuinely inferior.” –Norman Libemann

“When you are a backwoods country boy who has learned to type, nothing fazes you.” –Charley Reese

“Horror of horrors! If we start exposing the peasantry to a broad range of opinion, there’s no telling what these simpletons will fall for.” –Mark Steyn paraphrasing what Leftists really believe

“In my humble opinion, law schools teach students how to lie to one person at a time, while journalism schools teach students how to lie to everybody at once.” –Norman Liebmann

“The Group of Eight Summit was besieged Friday by thousands of rioters who looted local stores. It was ugly. Store fronts were smashed and computers came flying out of several offices, but then no one’s happy with the new Windows 2000.” –Argus Hamilton

“I frankly don’t expect much of the human race, and it has never disappointed me.” –Charley Reese

“In my humble opinion, it is only a matter of time until Congress passes legislation making incompetence in office compulsory.” –Norman Liebmann

“I love the idea that a mass exodus from the U.S. Congress would constitute some terrible tragedy. How could we ever replace these Titans!” –Ann Coulter

“In my humble opinion, it’s no coincidence that Schumer rhymes with tumor.” –Norman Liebmann

“…FBI doesn’t stand for Futile Bumbling Idiots after all. It stands for Famous But Incompetent.” –Lyn Nofziger

“A headline in the Washington Post says Report Questions Condoms’ Disease Prevention Ability.‘ That’s going to give a lot of cucumbers second thoughts.” –Lyn Nofziger

“Do young men, or any men, really want spindly funny-looking girls with bulgy knees from not having any meat on their bones? Of course not. This stuff is sheer malignant fantasy, one of our intermittent national hysterias, like Hula Hoops or Prohibition.” –Fred Reed

“Gaiety, in fact, has done in Members (as congressmen call themselves with no intended irony) from both parties.” –Wesley Pruden

Night Lines:

Leno…. Scientists at the astrophysics institute identified the smallest particle known to man today Gary Condit’s political future…. …. Hillary Clinton showed up at Bill’s new office and gave him a kiss, they showed this on the news. She’s so happy – thanks to the Condit’s they no longer have the most dysfunctional marriage in America. …. On this day in 1934 gangster John Dillenger was gunned down by the FBI in Chicago. This wouldn’t happen today because the FBI can’t find their guns. …. Seventy-nine percent of Americans know the first line to “The Star-Spangled Banner,” compared to only 38 percent of Canadians who know the first line to “Oh Canada.” That is really sad considering the first line to “Oh Canada” is “Oh Canada”! So we’re doing OK. …. Dick Cheney has laryngitis. It’s not such a big problem, unless you have to try telling people you’re having a heart attack.

Letterman…. You know I’m going on 20 years of doing this, and sometimes people ask me, “Why Dave why? Why do you keep doing this night after night?” Well two words why I keep this up – Internet gambling! …. Jurassic Park Three is out, the big sure to be blockbuster movie with dinosaurs and stuff. This is the largest assembly of dinosaurs since the Bush cabinet. …. Reports say that Al Gore is slowly adjusting to public life. Why didn’t he do this during the campaign?

Hamilton…. Democrats believe in eternity. Just ask Al Gore how long it is until 2004. …. Bill Clinton was introduced by the wrong name at a fund-raiser for the New York Historical Society [last week]. The society’s president Betsy Gotbaum introduced him as Richard Nixon. That’s very, very close, but no cigar. …. A Republican never has an affair unless it’s catered. …. President Bush unveiled a bust of Winston Churchill in the Oval Office on Monday. What an improvement. When President Clinton tried to unveil a bust in the Oval Office, Kathleen Willey went on 60 Minutes and spilled everything. …. The White House was reported Sunday to be considering a proposal to grant U.S. citizenship to Mexican illegals. It’s historic. If President Bush accepts this proposal, he’ll have a Spanish nickname for the rest of his life: Juan Term. …. Congressman Gary Condit may be called before the House Ethics Committee. They want him to explain the intern, the stewardess, and the preacher’s daughter. As many times as they’ve heard that joke, they can never remember the punch line. …. Mike Tyson told ESPN on Thursday he is fighting to help save himself from bankruptcy. The IRS has even placed a lien on his Ohio home. They didn’t like it when he tried to write off the Evander Holyfield fight as a business dinner. …. Firestone was ordered by the U.S. government Friday to recall another one million tires over safety issues. It’s out of control. If these tires kill any more innocent people, China may name Firestone the Official Tire of the 2008 Olympics.

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