Wednesday Chronicle


Aug. 1, 2001


“Do we imagine we no longer need His assistance? … if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid? We have been assured, Sir, in the Sacred Writings, that ‘except the Lord build the House, they labor in vain that build it’.” –Benjamin Franklin


“Government does not produce revenue. It consumes it.” –Ronald Reagan

“The principal part of faith is patience.” –George Macdonald

“The work an unknown good man has done is like a vein of water flowing hidden underground, secretly making the ground green.” –Thomas Carlyle

“Nothing under God’s control is ever out of control.” –Charles Swindoll

“An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes.” –Cato

“I have held many things in my hands, and have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess.” –Martin Luther

“A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.” – Edward Abbey

“Jesus was God spelling himself out in language humanity could understand.” –S. D. Gordon

“The virtues which keep this world sweet and the faithfulness which keeps it steadfast are chiefly those of the average man.” –W. Russell Bowie

“A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.” –Carl Sandburg

“If thou and nature can so gently part, The stroke of death is as a lover’s pinch, Which hurts, and is desir’d.” –William Shakespeare

“The best government is a benevolent tyranny tempered by an occasional assassination.” –Voltaire


“The Founders were not vague, ambivalent or silent on their conviction that freedom depends upon morality and morality upon religion. They understood that man’s law is no match for evil.” –Linda Bowles

“There are many signals that the United States, founded by men who repeatedly expressed a firm belief in character and morality as the measure of leadership, is on a slippery slope to becoming a superpower Sodom.” –Alan Caruba

“…[I]f we’re willing to educate ourselves and become involved, we can win the culture war – one child, one school, one city at a time.” –Charles Colson

“There is no difference between an income tax and slavery. A slave does not own the fruits of his labor, and neither does anyone who is subject to income tax.” –Paul Craig Roberts

“Politicians exploit rational ignorance by conferring large benefits on certain constituents whose costs are widely dispersed and borne by the general population.” –Walter Williams

“Hypocrisy, greed, and arrogance are not traits we should tolerate in leaders but we do, don’t we?” –Michael Peirce

“…[T]he Democrats seem to define ‘isolationism’ as not allowing our domestic and international policy to be determined by the European Union or the United Nations.” –Sterling Rome

“Stem-cell research on embryos is an even worse excuse for the slaughter of life than abortion. No woman is even being spared an inconvenience this time.” –Ann Coulter

“For good or ill, science will roll on. Whether it rolls in the proper (in this case, proper bioethical) direction will depend on our own ethical prescriptions and our own humaneness – and most prominently on the humaneness of the scientific community itself.” –Ross Mackenzie

“Every generation has its Kevorkian. But they will be very small in number. And like Kevorkian, they will not be very bright.” –Charles Krauthammer

“Illegal immigration, which erodes our identity, is a threat to America’s survival. It’s really not about who will be elected to govern the country in 2004, but whether, in the future, there will be any country left to govern.” –Don Feder

“Money is a coward.” –Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

“We must remember that government-managed trade always means political favoritism.” –Rep. Ron Paul

“Globalization works for no one. Minimum belief in family, discipline and country represents the only basis for our future.” –Niels de Groot

“Attack is something Republicans don’t do well; they think politics should be a gentleman’s game.” –Lyn Nofziger

“Wealth is the fruit of freedom, not its root. To suggest otherwise is pure folly.” –Chuck Baldwin

“The dollar, standing atop the globe, reflects the victory of American values – not only a free-market economy, but also political freedom and democracy.” –Larry Kudlow

“The reality is that while some American children may have more materially, the high rate and negative effect of divided families means that emotionally, it’s not such a great time to be a child in America.” –Kathleen Parker

“We used to say, don’t run in the halls, don’t chew gum, don’t talk without raising your hand and don’t kill, don’t steal and don’t take something that doesn’t belong to you. Sounds like a good idea to me. …American law is predicated on those Ten Commandments, and despite the objections of some, it’s not about to be exorcised out of their experience.” –Janet Parshall

“Maybe it would be a worthwhile tradeoff to sacrifice some lives today to avoid climate change later. But we could do all this and still not make any appreciable contribution to preventing global warming. Though for anyone lying in a grave, the world will certainly seem colder.” –Steve Chapman

“Political debate today is impoverished, but not by too much spending.” –Doug Bandow

“Pop culture shortens historical memory while trivializing it, paving the way for sloppily reasoned analogies.” –Suzanne Fields


“Here is a danger of bestowing the Olympics on Beijing: It furthers the perception that the PRC – with its sprawling gulag system and often murderous repression – is a normal country, if with some peculiar characteristics, surely necessary or at least understandable in a nation so vast and populous. In some of the very stadiums in which games will be held, mass sentencings and executions, Communist-style, have taken place. … [G]iven all the cities in the world, the Olympic Games should not be held in a police state: not in Nazi Germany (the Games had been awarded to Germany before the Nazi takeover), not in the Soviet Union, not in Red China. The granting of the Games to Beijing will probably strengthen the regime’s hand, emboldening it in its persecution, teaching it that the world will reward it anyway. All things considered, we would have taken Paris.” –National Review Online


“Mary Sheila Gall has been on the Consumer Product Safety Commission for ten years reviewing dangerous products, but her Senate hearing today on her bid to be Chairman may have brought the most danger she’s ever seen.” –CBS’s Wyatt Andrews suggesting Gall is another “dangerous” Bush appointee **The dirty little secret is … Bill Clinton reappointed Mrs. Gall.

“You’ve been completely nonpartisan in covering the news.” –Diane Sawyer on her assessment of the reportorial “objectivity” of George Stephanopoulus. **This is the same “nonpartisan” Stephanopoulus who once remarked, “Gore exaggerated a little bit. You saw him backtrack on whether or not he was really with James Lee Witt in Texas last night … but there were no big, big lies or distortions.”

“[Robert] Hanssen, who earlier this year confessed to selling secrets to the Soviets, was also second in command of the FBI’s ‘Soviet Analytical Unit’ that included spying on American citizens, part of a broad program to counter KGB disinformation campaigns…. It was former President Ronald Reagan who beefed up the FBI initiative against Soviet subversion in the U.S.” –CBS’s Randall Pinkston, blaming former President Reagan for somehow causing the Hanssen spy scandal. **PINKston indeed! Translation: The Leftmedia will never forgive Mr. Reagan for winning the Cold War!

“The one who loves glamour, the one who wants to make the world a better place….Today, by public relations design, he becomes an honorary homeboy.” –ABC’s Robin Roberts at Bill Clinton’s formal office opening ceremony in Harlem

“Pres … Bill Clinton returned to the national stage with thousands of people cheering him on. The former President officially opened his new office in the historic Harlem neighborhood.” –ABC’s Elizabeth Vargas almost Freudian slipping into an admission she wishes Bill were still president.


This month’s “Demo-Goguery” Award: “I am concerned that the nomination of Mary Sheila Gall as chair of the CPSC shows a willingness on the part of the Bush Administration to place corporate interests over consumer safety. This continues a pattern of disinterest by this administration in the productive role government can play in the daily lives of Americans.” –DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe on the appointment of an official originally appointed by the Clinton administration.

“Well, I think that in some ways he’s done well. He passed a good education bill working with Democrats. We had a 91-to-8 vote. That’s exactly the kind of approach that I think we ought to do on other issues.” –Senate Plurality Leader, Tom Daschle, on his approval of Bush’s watered-down education bill.

“[The border is an] aging and outdated infrastructure and regulatory system.” –U.S. Ambassador to Canada Paul Cellucci **If so, shouldn’t his title be revoked, and replaced by “Citizen of the World” Cellucci?

“Must be some imagery in there somewhere suitable for the Alachua County Reagan namesake, particularly since it’s no longer serving any public purpose.” –Alachua County, Florida’s Democrat Commissioner Mike Byler on his proposal to name a county landfill after Ronald Reagan. **And the Leftpoliticos will never forgive Mr. Reagan for winning the Culture War.

“If my life were extended one day at the expense of one other human’s life itself, it would be an evil beyond measure.” –Andrew Sullivan, a homosexual advocate of same-sex marriage, himself HIV+, breaking ranks with the Left front on embryonic stem cell research.


This week’s “Character-Deficit Disorder” Award: “There used to be a time when guy-on-guy or woman-on-woman relationships were looked at as unnatural acts. What concern is it to anybody if there is or isn’t a personal relationship?” –Robert Noel, one of two San Francisco attorneys facing involuntary manslaughter charges in a fatal mauling by their large Presa Canario dogs, responding to allegations he and his partner were sexually assaulting the dogs.

“[Personhole] is not an acceptable de-sexed word.” –Berkeley City Councilmember Shirley Dean, explaining a council language change reverting to use of the term “manhole cover.”

“No wonder he wants to break the missile treaty, alienate NATO, ignore global warming and reinstall Russia and China as enemies: Those foreign countries scarcely exist in his imagination. Why go to Australia when you have the Outback Steakhouse right here at home?” –Roger Ebert **All thumbs down!

“It may be they are just terrestrial bacteria, but we don’t know how they could have got up to these heights.” –Professor David Lloyd on why bacteria from outer space provide evidence that life on Earth evolved from comets. **Memo to “junk” scientists: Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence!

This week’s “Cultural Devolution” Award: “Forever yours.” –Message carved by David Coakley, 19, onto his girlfriend’s back in a “love ritual”; Coakley was arrested for second-degree assault.

“We’ve talked, and they’d like it even if Madonna would tape something telling the audience to go [deleted by Federalist Editor for Standards and Practices] themselves. Which she might do at the last minute if she can. But with this schedule, it seems impossible.” –Spokesperson Liz Roseberg, explaining why Madonna’s schedule will not permit the “Material Girl” to attend MTV’s 20th anniversary concert – and acknowledge the network that helped “make” her career.

From the “Village Academic Curriculum” File: “The Horowitz controversy [universities refusing to accept his advertisement against reparations] has laid bare the cultural and intellectual splits that rivet the contemporary university. … The recent events suggest that Wisconsin and other universities are at a crossroads of sorts. The nature and extent of the Horowitz controversy have been unlike anything we have witnessed in many years.” –Donald Downs, Professor of Political Science, Journalism and Law at the University of Wisconsin, Madison


“Congressman Gary Condit, the suddenly famous California Democrat, may dispute the Madison Avenue adage that there’s no such thing as bad publicity.” –Joseph Sobran

“He might do well to run in Modesto.” –NFRA “Conservative News” on the prospect of William Kennedy Smith, acquitted of rape 10 years ago, running for a Chicago area congressional seat

“Clinton/Condit 2004 – End Intern Abuse.” –T-shirt inscription seen in Washington, DC, last week

“In my humble opinion, Bill Clinton’s effort to be a disgrace to humanity is running well ahead of schedule.” –Norman Liebmann

“You can be a great president even if you’re not a cowboy.” –Lyn Nofziger

“Wiley’s Dictionary: Prime rib – Eve.” –Johnny Hart in the comic strip, “B.C.”

“Like most expert commentators, I haven’t a clue what I’m talking about 90% of the time. Fortunately, it’s usually pretty easy to fake it with a judiciously deployed metaphor.” –Mark Steyn

Night Lines:

Jay Leno…. The search team in Washington, D.C., is still at it trying to find any sign of integrity to Gary Condit. Condit’s wife, Carolyn “Rodham” Condit, has flown to Washington to be with Gary. No reason why she is there, but I think we can rule out a second honeymoon. …. Newsweek magazine reports that as many as 87 congressmen might be cheating on their wives. Well, I guess we know why it’s always hard to find a hotel room in Washington. …. The guy in the Army commercial, the new “Army of One” commercial, that guy has left the Army Special Forces. So we really need an “Army of Two,” in case the one guy leaves. …. The first checks of the Bush tax rebate are going out soon. Thirty percent of Americans say that they will spend the money soon. The rest are being cautious and are going to save it for when the Democrats are back in Congress and take it back!

David Letterman…. Letterman’s Top George W. Bush Observations About Europe: Europeans speak worse English than I do. That Eiffel Tower would make one mother of an oil well. Austria looks nothing like it looked on “Survivor.” The time difference screws up your nap schedule. The Polish people tell some great “Bush is dumb” jokes. In France, you don’t have to say, “French fries,” you can just say “fries.” Due to the metric system, my ten-gallon hat is a whopping 37.84 liters. The Irish drive on the left side of the road, like I used to.

Argus Hamilton…. Planet of the Apes opened Friday at movie theaters nationwide to big crowds. It’s about a guy who lands at a place where arrogant apes rule over people and engage in lusty mating rituals. It’s a remake of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. …. Hillary Clinton says she’s not opposed to the Ten Commandments, but she’s not exactly married to the idea either. …. Democratic National Party Chairman Terry McAuliffe complained Thursday about the GOP-friendly slogan printed on the $300 tax refund checks. Democrats hate tax cuts. In eight years, the only money they ever refunded was to Chinese donors. …. CNN reported the U.S will launch retaliatory air raids against Iraq for trying to shoot down U.S. planes. Saddam Hussein is used to this. Every time there’s an intern scandal in Washington it rains death from the skies over Baghdad. …. Mt. Etna in Italy exploded violently Thursday, firing molten lava and hot gases into the air. It was dismaying to environmentalists. God becomes only the latest world leader to refuse to abide by the terms of the Kyoto Global Warming Treaty. …. Saddam Hussein has made two attempts at shooting down a U-2 American surveillance craft over Iraq. There’s a method to his madness. He knows if he just downs a U.S. spy plane, the 2012 Olympics are his for the asking. …. President Bush was lectured by the pope on stem cell research [last] Monday. It’s a raging battle within the GOP. Conservatives believe life begins at conception, while moderates believe life begins when the kids leave home and the dog dies. …. The California Legislature is on the verge of passing landmark civil rights legislation that would ban all discrimination against cross-dressers. They’re not sure if Governor Gray Davis will sign it. Right now, he could go either way.

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