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Wednesday Chronicle


Aug. 8, 2001


“The only foundation of a free Constitution, is pure virtue, and if this cannot be inspired into our People, in a greater Measure than they have it now, they may change their rulers, and the forms of Government, but they will not obtain a lasting Liberty. They will only exchange Tyrants and tyrannies.” –John Adams


“I sometimes think if someone appealed the Ten Commandments to some of our courts, they would rule – ‘Thou shalt not, unless you feel strongly to the contrary’.” –Ronald Reagan

“It is safe to tell the pure in heart that they shall see God, for only the pure in heart want to.” –C. S. Lewis

“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” –Aristotle

“One can give without loving, but one cannot love without giving.” –Amy Carmichael

“I have said that the Declaration of Independence is the ring-bolt to the chain of your nation’s destiny; so, indeed, I regard it. The principles contained in that instrument are saving principles. Stand by those principles, be true to them on all occasions, in all places, against all foes, and at whatever cost.” –Frederick Douglass

“If man chooses to treat himself as raw material, raw material he will be: not raw material to be manipulated, as he fondly imagined, by himself, but [by] his dehumanized conditioners.” –C.S. Lewis

“God will not look you over for medals, degrees, or diplomas, but for scars.” –Elbert Hubbard

“Men no longer attempt to rule by the sword, but they find in money a weapon as sharp and more effective; and having lost none of the old lust for power, they seek to establish over their fellows the despotism of dollars.” –James Gordon Bennett

“The republic was not established by cowards, and cowards will not preserve it.” –Elmer Davis


“Faith in the state couldn’t survive without the partnership of state and press. You’d think a free press would favor a free society and the morality that supports it. For some reason, the opposite is true.” –Joseph Sobran

“…[We] can think of ourselves as free, but only relative to the rest of the world. In terms of the Founders’ vision of freedom, we’re little more than serfs.” –Walter Williams

“The power to subsidize is the power to destroy.” –Paul Greenberg

“It is time to stop seeking national safety behind parchment barriers such as the unverifiable and unenforceable 1972 Biological Weapons Convention.” –George Will

“The canard of ‘American isolation’ is popular mainly with Americans who would like our own policies aligned more with policies deeply inferior to ours – with no clear payback in sight.” –Bill Murchison

“Being a White House reporter is one of the most intoxicating job assignments in journalism, a seat in the front row of history. So why do some privileged correspondents seem so desperate to be rebellious and abuse what should rightfully be seen as an honor?” –Brent Bozell

“Irresponsibility, licentiousness, and viciousness do not comport with good citizenship.” –Thomas L. Krannawitter

“The never-be-satisfied mentality sometimes leads to a cliff.” –Robert J. Samuelson

“Half-truths can be as deceptive as outright lies.” –David Limbaugh

“As the state’s steady growth over the last 70 years indicates, once the government becomes the supplier of people’s needs, there is no limit to the needs that will be claimed as a basic right….” –Lawrence Auster

“The investor has to be smarter than the knave. Or hire lawyers who are smarter.” –Don Bauder

“Love may be priceless, but it demands a huge expenditure of time.” –Suzanne Fields

“Legislators consistently put the political imperative before the national interest.” –Doug Bandow

“Consistency may be the hobgoblin of little minds, but law, morality and leadership demand it. Without consistency, there is privilege.” –Paul Craig Roberts

“God promises that he will provide a way out of every temptation, and part of that means preparing our minds to refute false ideas.” –Charles Colson

“I have always hoped that if I were ever accused of being a Christian that there would be enough evidence to convict me.” –Attorney General John Ashcroft


“The Boy Scouts of America (BSA) … appears ready to give in to trendiness and political correctness by adopting a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy. The Boston Minuteman Council, one of the largest regional councils within the Boy Scouts of America, recently voted in favor of a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy that requires that scouts ‘…respect all people and defend the rights of others’ on July 19. …Just as occurred in the military, it is inevitable that this misplaced obeisance to the idol of ‘tolerance’ will lead one day to enforced acceptance – and with it, the transformation of the Boy Scouts of America into merely another venue for the inculcation of trendy modern attitudes and values. Better to disband the organization than to change it into something unrecognizable – or to water down its core message until it is but thin gruel. …The Boy Scouts of America face a fork in the road: Is it better to be right than to be trendy, though the heavens fall?” –The Washington Times


“It really doesn’t have to do with any other network. It wasn’t some programming strategy or our relationship with Fox or anything like that….” –CNN’s new chief Walter Isaacson on why he has been calling on House Republican leaders in an effort to attract more conservative viewers to the Clinton News Network. **This is the same CNN which broke away from a speech by President Bush last week to cover Bill Clinton’s grand opening in Harlem.

From the Commissars of Public Opinion: “Good evening. He’s been out of office six months now, but Bill Clinton is just as fascinating as ever.” –ABC’s Charles Gibson on how much the Leftmedia have missed their Bill. **We haven’t missed him – and we love columnist Paul Greenberg’s apt description of the former president’s return to the public eye as “The Long Hello”

This week’s “Leftmedia Non Compos Mentis” Award: “The self-declared ‘comeback kid,’ a hero to his new office neighbors in Harlem, now breaking a world record, signing the biggest nonfiction book deal in history, bigger than the Pope’s….” –NBC’s Andrea Mitchell **This is Alan Greenspan’s wife? Talk about “irrational exuberance”!

“It was that she never saw a defective product, she only saw defective parents. She could find a reason for every injury other than the product at hand.” –CNN’s Margaret Carlson on Capitol Gang on her opposition to Mary Sheila Gall’s appointment to the Consumer Product Safety Commission

From the “Garbage in – Garbage out” Department: “Can we afford this?” –Gwen Ifill letting the cat out of the bag on PBS’s Washington Week while discussing the President’s meager tax refund. **Who, pray tell, is “we”? Maybe the Leftmedia and Big Government, perchance?


“It makes my skin crawl at the thought of him [hubby Bill] touching me again.” –Sen. Ms. Hillary (Mrs. Bill Clinton) Rodham-Clinton, as quoted in the National Enquirer. **Creeping horripilations, Batgirl! (No, we don’t take TNE seriously, but the thought makes our skin crawl, too – so this one could be true!)

This month’s “Demo-Goguery” Award: “We’ve got to go back and look at the Bush tax cut, which I think … [is] one of the most serious mistakes the federal government [has ever made].” –Sen. Joe Lieberman, who joined Tom Daschle in blaming the current economic downturn on the tax cut. **That downturn actually started in March of Bill Clinton’s last year in office – a full year before any tax cuts were enacted.

“I continue to support [Condit] because of his personal touch with his constituents.” –Mary Schalz, a retired medical technician from Chandra Levy’s hometown of Modesto, at a recent Condit support rally. **Yes, Congressman Condit seems to have given “constituent service” a new meaning….

“We feel perfectly comfortable. If we’re audited, we’ll face the music and show them what we’ve done.” –John Hiatt, general counsel for the AFL-CIO, on reports that unions failed to report political contributions to the IRS

This week’s “Periplaneta Americana” Award: “We express our deep regret and profound remorse for the terrible suffering caused.” –Proposed language by the UN’s World Conference Against Racism for an apology from the U.S. “for its historic role in the slave trade.” **How about expressing tangible regret and remorse for the current slave trade in Sudan?


This week’s “Gender Disorientation” Award: “It started as a business decision more than anything. It would be foolish not to try and get something like this.” –Atlanta Braves spokesman Jim Schultz on his clubs efforts to bring the “2006 Gay Games” to Atlanta.

And a runner-up: “There is no age too young to learn that sexism, racism and homophobia are unacceptable.” –Kris Worthington, homosexual, and Berkley City Council member who canceled a city reception for Japanese Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts visiting the Bay Area

This week’s “Village Rationale” Award: “I was drinking, I was on my way to work, and they darted out in front of me.” –Officer Joseph Gray of the NYPD, explaining how, while driving to work, he hit a 24-year-old pregnant woman, her 4-year-old son, and her sister.

From the files of the Morally Challenged: “The sooner he (Antinori) is run out of town, the better.” –Professor Jack Scarisbrick, national director of Life, responding to Italian professor Severino Antinori’s plans to implant 1,300 U.S. and 200 Italian women with cloned embryos.

This week’s “Village Glitterati” Award: “I really believe that inside me there is just this big black person that keeps trying to get out. There is so much soul in R&B, and soul for me is just the most important thing. And I relate to people who have a lot of it.” –Clintonista dalliancee Denise Rich

From the “Village Academic Curriculum” File: Students at Tufts University seized an administration building for a 36-hour sit-in protesting the wording of the school’s nondiscrimination policy. The students claimed victory following the takeover, when the president of the university acquiesced to the students’ demands for reinterpretation, and changed the university’s definition of diversity to include new wording centered around “understanding” and “self-acceptance.”


“My process has been, frankly, unusually deliberative for my administration.” –Mr. Bush on deciding about federal funds for embryonic stem cell research **We’ll say! And in more ways than one!

“If only cows get mad cow disease is Hillary Clinton in any danger?” –Lyn Nofziger

“What possible explanation can this administration offer for giving in to political pressure …? The usual: Bill Clinton made us do it!” –Paul Greenberg

“In my humble opinion, Orrin Hatch is spinning his wheels trying to convince Teddy Kennedy it is not variety, but sobriety, that is the spice of life.” –Norman Liebmann

“…[S]mut just confuses the Supreme Court.” –Ann Coulter

“The extra-economic resentment [of Clinton’s $10 million ‘memoirs’ book deal] has to do with a wobbly extension of the federal rule that you are not allowed to profit from a crime.” –Wm. F. Buckley

“Stop Global Whining.” –Bumper sticker seen in Washington, DC

“Just slip the pocket president into your shirt pocket, and you’ll instantly take your place among America’s rich and powerful, knowing that the president is totally in your pocket.” –Bill Shein, creator of “The Pocket President,” a full-color, seven-inch-tall cardboard likeness of Mr. Bush selling for $3 per W.

“Now, I’m used to critical feedback. Heck, I’m used to people hoping that I get a half-starved wolverine sewed into my lower torso.” –Jonah Goldberg on the lot of the conservative essayist

“In my humble opinion, people watch Capitol Gang because they love to listen to the pitter-patter of little minds.” –Norman Liebmann

“In industry, there are ethics seminars galore – the only seminars at which attendees don’t cheat on their expense accounts.” –Don Bauder

“…China has announced that…it will hold the beach volleyball contest at the site of the 1989 massacre. Even Hitler didn’t have the chutzpah to stage the 100-yard dash at Dachau.” –Don Feder

“Hawaiian shirts and Bermuda shorts are appropriate only in places where rum drinks are served in coconut shells. This does not include most churches.” –Michael Kelly

“As a journalism professional I am always interested in new ways to make things burst into flame. (All guys are. That’s why we have a Defense Department.)” –Dave Barry on the research practices of the conservative journalism professional

“What could a dead atheist, a dead agnostic and a dead saint possibly have in common? They all *know* there is a God.” –Johnny Hart in the comic strip “B.C.”

From a television program introduction: “And now it’s time for the ‘Boost Your Self-Esteem’ Show – how clever of you to find the right channel!” –Bob Thaves in the comic strip “Frank & Ernest”

“In my humble opinion, America is ready for someone to write a best-selling book entitled ‘Why Nothing Works’.” –Norman Liebmann

“If a lesbian bore a son would the kid be called a son of a butch?” –Lyn Nofziger

“Legislators are crying poverty. But as long as they waste money to fix a decrepit statue of Vulcan and to subsidize sheep and goats, voters can’t take them seriously.” –Doug Bandow

Night Lines:

Jay Leno…. It is being said that 87 congressmen are cheating on their wives. That’s why they still do roll call every morning, to see who is back from the hotel. “Kennedy, Kennedy? Last call for Kennedy!” …. Bill Clinton has been paid eight million dollars for his memoirs. The publisher was going to give Clinton ten million, but that was only if he gave us the truth. …. Clinton has moved to Harlem. I guess that’s one way to stay away from Republicans. He says he’s always liked Harlem – because he has a view of the office in Manhattan he wanted. He’s trying to be environmental, so he’s asking for people to carpool with. Yeah, I’m really sure there are lots of people that work in Harlem that live in Chappaqua. It is reported that Clinton keeps $1 million in his checking account at all times. Just like the typical Harlem resident! …. A blue-ribbon committee including Jimmy Carter and Gerald Ford have released their recommendations on how to make future elections better. I have an idea – how about better candidates?! …. Al Gore is back from a vacation in Europe. Did anyone realize he was gone? Al and Tipper are working on a book about marriage. How many Democrats are going to show up for that book signing? Jesse Jackson and his wife, Gary Condit, the Kennedys, Bill and Hillary? …. They say the Code Red computer virus could slow the government down. Is that really possible?

David Letterman…. Congratulations to Lance Armstrong on his third straight Tour De France victory! In second place was one of those Chinese delivery guys. …. Clinton is in his new office in Harlem – a nice office, the best equipment, a good staff, and great security. Now all he needs is a job. He’s having problems with the new phone system, though. Today by accident he called Hillary! His office has a 360 degree view of the city. This way he can see Hillary coming from any direction. …. Tourism in New York is way down. Sooner or later the tourists will come back, though. Tourists always come back to New York City – to identify the body! Right now the only people you see with cameras in New York are crime scene photographers. …. Mom got her rebate check in the mail yesterday. She spent it already. She spent it all on Miss Cleo! …. This just in, folks! Gary Condit has officially gotten away with it!

Argus Hamilton…. First Lady Laura Bush visited the Leaning Tower of Pisa in Italy Friday. Historians say the tower began to tilt back in the year 1173. Of course, if it had been married to Laura Bush, it would have straightened up 15 years ago. …. U.N. chief Kofi Annan demanded the Group of Eight set up a $10 billion fund to help African governments fight AIDS. Just a fraction of that was pledged. Once it’s proven that Swiss bank accounts can cure AIDS, we will donate the rest.

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