Friday Digest

Digest

Aug. 24, 2001

Quotes of the week…

A few representative selections illustrating why The Federalist staff and all patriots will miss the good Senator from North Carolina when he departs the floor for the last time:

“Compromise, hell! That’s what has happened to us all down the line – and that’s the very cause of our woes. If freedom is right and tyranny is wrong, why should those who believe in freedom treat it as if it were a roll of bologna to be bartered a slice at a time?” (1959)

“Atheism and socialism – or liberalism, which tends in the same direction – are inseparable entities. When you have men who no longer believe that God is in charge of human affairs, you have men attempting to take the place of God by means of the Superstate.” (1973)

“I fight for what I believe. If you are not willing to stand up for what you believe, your beliefs are not strong enough.” (1984)

“What is really at stake is whether or not America will allow the cultural high ground in this nation to sink slowly into an abyss of slime to placate people who clearly seek or are willing to destroy the Judaic-Christian foundations of this republic.” (1990, on funding for the National Endowment for the Arts)

“Let me adjust my hearing aid. It could not accommodate the decibels of the Senator from Massachusetts. I can’t match him in decibels or Jezebels, or anything else apparently.” (1993 Senate floor debate with Ted Kennedy)

Open Query…

“They and we have supported and proposed Social Security and Medicare lockbox initiatives in the last Congress. Perhaps, this makes the lockbox idea all the more important.” –Demo Tom Daschle

“I believe that it is so large that we can take care of Social Security by setting it aside, under a lockbox.” –Republicrat Pete Domenici **Question for Messrs. Daschle and Domenici: What is the value of a “lockbox” full of IOU’s?

The BIG lie…

“This is a much broader issue than just the budget. This goes to the total mismanagement of our economy.” –DNC chairman Terry McAuliffe, in reference to the diminished budget “surplus ” numbers.

News from the Swamp…

It’s still recess – unless you are Gary Condit! Bill Clinton certainly softened the cultural beaches for this Dumbocrat. “I am not perfect. … Out of respect for my family, and…the Levy family, I think it’s best that I not get into those details,” Condit said to Connie Chung, when asked about his five month adulterous affair with subordinate intern Chandra Levy. “[I’m] a moral man. … I’ve been married for 34 years, and I intend to stay married to that woman as long as she’ll have me.” And it went downhill from there….

Connie Chung and Gary Condit – like peas and carrots! If you are following this primetime suspense/drama closely … get a life!

Speaking of recess, James Madison took a four month vacation in 1816. As we have previously noted, we support the idea of l…o…n…g vacations. In fact, we think Congress should only convene once annually – June, July and August – sweltering in the swamp.

Judicial Benchmarks…

In the halls of justice on the right, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals overruled some atheists wanting to expunge all public religious symbols everywhere, as the court ruled that a 43-foot-tall cross originally erected as a war memorial was legally transferred from ownership by the City of San Diego, California, through sale to a veterans group intent on preserving and enhancing the memorial site. “It’s an outrage. Thanks to the city of San Diego, Mount Soledad is now a Christian theme park,” fumed lead plaintiff Philip Paulson.

In the halls of injustice on the left, U.S. District Court Judge Nancy Gertner Tuesday refused to overturn the closing of the Grand Banks area of the North Atlantic, a swordfishing community, citing a federal statute designed to protect “the endangered leatherback and loggerhead sea turtles from fishing lines and hooks.” Gertner averred that although she was sympathetic to the interests of the fisherman, she was bound to enforce the statute. (Please tell us – anyone – where the word “turtle” appears in the U.S. Constitution.)

On the Left…

Rev. Al Sharpton announced a potential 2004 presidential bid.  Sharpton claims the Democratic Party is moving “further and further to the right.” “I think that the real issue is with voter disenfranchisement in last year’s election. There is no way I can see that we not challenge the powers that be in the Democratic Party.” Sharpton criticized Mr. Bush’s plan to shore up our military because he sees “no real threat to American security." "We are going forward with situations when they are harmful to the people involved to build up to take care of some enemy that is not there, some threat that does not exist,” Sharpton said. As for his likely primary contender Albert “Hey-Hey-Hey” Gore, Sharpton noted, “I lost weight and shaved a beard – he gained weight and grew a beard.” Can’t wait for those debates.

Effluent from the “Clinton Presidue” Files…

Newly released transcripts of our former national embarrassment’s telephone communiqués with ousted Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak revealed lurid details about the 11th hour pardon of international fugitive Marc Rich. Barak to Clinton: “One last remark. There is an American Jewish businessman living in Switzerland and makes a lot of philanthropic contributions to Israeli institutions and activities and education.” Clinton’s reply: “I know quite a few things about that. I just got a long memo and am working on it. It’s best that we not say much about that. I know about that case because I know his ex-wife.”

And speaking of “Presidue,” former Clinton advisor Mr. (?) Ben Schatz, homosexual activist and consummate Clintonista, showed up at his 20th Harvard reunion in a lavender satin dress with matching hair bow, strapless bra, waist-cincher and pantyhose. “This uses every side of my brain and my personality,” Schatz told his former classmates.

You can always tell a Harvard man!

The Commissars…

Federal Bureau of “Investigation” officials have been charged with abetting criminal activity perpetrated by paid informants. The FBI paid L.A. gangster John Terscak $40,000 for his services, but wiretap evidence shows that he concurrently played direct roles in one murder and another attempted murder. Deputy Assistant Directory Danny Coulson questioned, “I don’t know how they couldn’t have acted on this information. I cannot believe a supervisor wouldn’t have recognized this as a conspiracy to commit murder.” Maybe he was at McDonald’s!

Regarding your IRS overpayment…

The current fiscal year ends on September 30 and Mr. Bush wants to hold the Appropriations Committees to 4% growth. Following his boss’s lead, Office of Management and Budget director Mitch Daniels had “hold” music installed on OMB phones – the old Stones tune, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”

From the department of military readiness…

North to Alaska! Groundbreaking there may begin imminently for a command center and silo base for ground-based components of a national missile defense system. And John R. Bolton, State Department Undersecretary for arms control and international security has reportedly provided his Russian counterparts with a timetable, perhaps as early as November, for negotiations – or U.S. withdrawal – from the ABM Treaty.

From the states…

From the Great State of Tennessee (home of Albert Gore – 11 electoral votes to George Bush), tax protests have, thus far, convinced the legislature that it would be best not to implement a state income tax – should they wish to keep their “jobs.” Tennessee’s RINO governor, Donald Sundquist, elected to his second term on his promise of “no income tax,” continues to lead the band for – you guessed it – an income tax. Sundquist is using that old favorite “better education for our children” to argue for more state revenue. Now comes word in the Princeton Review that the University of Tennessee has been ranked the “No. 1 party school” in a national student survey.

Back to Oregon’s Klamath Basin, the central government’s Bureau of Reclamation turned off the water again. (Guess calling it “Oregon’s” Klamath Basin is not accurate.) Carmen Bair, one of the family farmers protesting the cutoff, said, “We are not a bunch of scary radicals. If radical means standing up for your rights in a free country, then we are radical. If radical means protecting your business, family and history from ruin, then we are radicals.”

You are not alone, Carmen!

In economic news…

From the “Too Little Too Late” Files, Fed chairman Alan Greenspan extended his monetary policy on Tuesday, cutting the federal reserve rate by another quarter of a percent. We suppose Mr. Greenspan has been too busy admiring the signed portrait of John Maynard Keynes hanging over his mantel to consider something other than central economic planning.

Court Jesters…

The German soft porn “O Magazine” has filed suit in federal court against “O,” The Oprah Magazine, arguing there might be confusions between the two publications. We don’t think so….

Culture comment…

Out in Sacramento, California, on Monday a man murdered his wife, 3-year-old son, and four other relatives – with a knife. The Leftmedia are screaming for “knife control,” “whetstone limitations,” waiting periods for kitchen equipment, and licensing for sharp chefs – NOT!

Faith Matters…

“One president commits sexual sin in the Oval Office and the Christian Right is told to shut up,” said Rev. James Merritt, president of the Southern Baptist Convention, in his annual address. “Another president speaks openly of his faith in God and his trust in Christ and he is told to shut up.”

On the frontiers of science…

Editing mistakes are certain to find their way around The Federalist’s light-speed publishing deadlines, but the science books being used by government schools to “dumb down” kids are often years in the preparation. A review of 12 textbooks by North Carolina State University found 500 pages with egregious errors. The report states, “These are basic errors. It’s the stuff that anyone who has taken a science class would be able to catch.” Except, of course, the editors….

Around the world but getting closer every day … the United Nations proposal for the International Criminal Court may provide a very red-faced embarrassment for President Bush when he addresses the UN General Assembly a month from now. Seems that a hero around our editorial shop, House Majority Whip Tom DeLay, inserted an amendment in this year’s House authorization for repayment of almost $1 billion in U.S. dues to the UN, which limits the sovereignty infringements and constitutional impingements of the ICC. DeLay’s provisions call for: restricting military aid to countries ratifying the ICC treaty, barring U.S. military personnel from participating in “peacekeeping” missions unless granted immunity from possible ICC prosecution, and authorizing the president to order military force to free U.S. defense personnel in ICC custody.

And last, in Lambu, Ghana, Aleobiga Aberima died of a gunshot wound after he asked a local witch doctor to make him bulletproof. “After smearing his body with a concoction of herbs every day for two weeks, a fellow villager volunteered to shoot him to check whether the spell had actually worked,” reported the BBC. “He died instantly from a single bullet.” Undoubtedly a frontrunner for the annual “Darwin Awards.”

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