Wednesday Chronicle

Chronicle

Aug. 29, 2001

THE FOUNDATION

“The first object of my heart is my own country. In that is embarked my family, my fortune, and my own existence.” –Thomas Jefferson

INSIGHT

“All of us need to be reminded that the Federal Government did not create the States; the States created the Federal Government.” –Ronald Reagan

“When a person’s faith seems to collapse without warning, one can be sure it has been the result of inner conflicts – the termites of disobedience.” –Quinton J. Everest

“The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.” –Aristotle

“The repetition of small efforts will accomplish more than the occasional use of great talents.” –Charles H. Spurgeon

“Laughter has no greater foe than emotion…. To produce the whole of its effect, then, the comic demands something like a momentary anesthesia of the heart.” –Henri Bergson

“I find that doing the will of God leaves me with no time for disputing about His plans.” –George MacDonald

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose.” –Jim Elliot

“Give us grace and strength to forbear and to persevere…. Give us courage and…the quiet mind, spare to us our friends, soften to us our enemies.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

“I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.” –Galileo Galilei

“I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.” –Helen Keller

UPRIGHT

“All of us owe it to God, and to each other, to honor standards that we may not always observe with perfect scruples. If you lie or steal, you are still bound to uphold honesty in principle. Lying and stealing don’t give you the right to defend such practices.” –Joseph Sobran

“…[T]rue faith is the difference between wishful thinking and the real thing.” –Charles Colson

“A real town can’t be grown any faster than a tree, or a friendship, or a family. …A sense of place requires a sense of time.” –Paul Greenberg

“Playing perpetual defense on environmental matters is a recipe for failure. It’s time for the Bush team to go on environmental offense.” –Jonathan H. Adler

“The good news is that Congress and the President can tell the bureaucrats at the U.N. to take a long walk off a short pier.” –Daniel Mitchell

“The nation needs direction, not confection.” –Norman Liebmann

“There is no such thing as an honorable politician or an honorable legislative body to uphold, since dishonor no longer can be said to apply to either.” –Brent Bozell

“The New Tolerance demands you take sides – against Boy Scouts, practicing Christians and anybody else who gets in its way.” –Mark Steyn

“Class-based communism is dead in Russia, but race-based communism is alive and well in the Democratic Party.” –Paul Craig Roberts

“Behind the mask of every welfare advocate is the face of a socialist.” –R. Emmett Tyrrell

“For America, stopping Israel would be foolishness in the extreme. We have one overriding objective in the area: nonviolence. Washington has no idea how to get there. Israel does. We must allow Israel to defeat terrorism. If we do not, we are sentencing the region to endless war – and ourselves to endless crises.”–Charles Krauthammer

“Human destiny is physical death, and no amount of cloning around will change that.” –Kathleen Parker

“If killing human embryos is killing human life, … then the federal funding and sanctioning of research on cells extracted from those embryos is wrong.” –David Limbaugh

“…[W]e should avoid letting passion and rhetoric take over the reins of science.” –Armstrong Williams

“History is one of those immutable facts of life – there is absolutely nothing any of us can do to change it. We can change the future.” –Walter Williams

“The self-destruction of celebrities comes packaged with a warning label for nearly everybody. Curt Cobain, who is still dead, is nobody’s favorite philosopher.” –Suzanne Fields

“The 20th century, which was to have yielded the sweet fruits of scientific progress, was instead a century of massive brutality, wholesale carnage, and random destruction such as the world had never seen.” –Linda Bowles

“Alas, demanding a permanent vacation from this tax oppression is about as unfashionable as last year’s school clothes.” –Michelle Malkin

“Amending the U.S. Constitution is the only way to stop judges from repealing the laws of nature.” –Don Feder

“It is obvious that the militarization of the police and the feminization of the military are both blows against our freedom. The former destroys our freedoms at home and the latter destroys our ability as a country to defend ourselves from attack.” –Michael Peirce

“There is no way to get around the grotesque historical fact, which is that soldiers fight heroically no matter the character of the government they serve.” –William F. Buckley, Jr.

EDITORIAL EXEGESIS

“Is this a great country or what? Just ask the National Council of Churches. This spring the NCC joined a coalition of more than 500 organizations charging that the President’s tax cuts were immoral. But now that the checks are in the mail, guess what the NCC’s new position is? The checks should be forwarded to … the National Council of Churches. That’s right. In a Web-page appeal the Rev. Dr. Robert W. Edgar, the NCC’s general secretary, appeals to readers to ‘reject the tax rebate in favor of reinvesting it’ with, well, the NCC. And the NCC is not alone. The Sierra Club, also a member of the Fair Taxes for All Coalition, is asking you to redirect your rebate to worthier causes such as, er, themselves. Likewise, The Nation’s anti-tax-cut editors now urge readers to endorse their rebate checks, writing below their signatures, ‘Pay to the order of The Nation Co. L.P.’ Now, since the rebate checks began arriving in mailboxes, retailers from Wal-Mart to Home Depot have made their own bids for the money. But unlike the Sierra Club, Home Depot didn’t lobby against your getting your check in the first place. And Wal-Mart wasn’t already getting your tax dollars. In a study released last month, analysts from the Cato Institute and Capital Research Center documented $618 million in federal money received by many of the nonprofits who enlisted in the Fair Taxes for All Coalition. …If the Sierra Club and the National Council of Churches can persuade Americans to hand over their rebates, more power to them: … people ought to be free to spend their own money the way they see fit.” –The Wall Street Journal

DEZINFORMATSIA

“There’s nothing a reporter likes more than to have an effect on policy. We may tell you … that our principal aim in life is to communicate and … inform … our audience … if you see injustice and you can get people to do something about it, ahh, it’s just a glorious feeling.” –Peter Jennings of ABC, in a not-so-tacit admission of the Leftmedia’s “target practice.”

“[Rush] Limbaugh has demonstrated very little respect for that journalistic nicety called ‘truth’.” –The New Republic questioning the wisdom of CNN’s courting of Limbaugh in that network’s effort to heal its hemorrhaging market share. **OK, if that accusation were true, would not Limbaugh be a “perfect fit” at CNN? And speaking of “truth,” we checked, and TNR published a lot of fictional writing by its “journalist” Stephen Glass as fact.

“They promised to protect Social Security, but news tonight they may have to take $9 billion from the trust fund to pay the bills. What happened to all the money?” –Stone Phillips **What trust fund?

“After all he’s a conservative Democrat. They had in the past looked to him as an important ally for the Bush agenda in the House among Democrats.” –Michael Isikoff linking conservative Gary Condit to George Bush. **Too true – and just why we often call them “Republicrats”!

SOCIOCRATS

“In our house and at school and church, we were drilled in the proper use of white folks’ language, but even the best efforts were not always enough.” –Jimmy Carter (Jimah Cotta) on ebonics.

“[Through his] actions and behaviors, Congressman Condit has brought controversy and discredit to his family, his district and the Congress.” –Blue Dog Demo Rep. Charles Stenholm **Some might suggest he has also discredited Ms. Levy….

This week’s PC (Politically Challenged) Award: “There’s no good reason why seven out of every ten people who go to church every Sunday don’t feel comfortable with the Democratic Party.” –Indiana Senator Evan Bayh

“People can say whatever they want to say, and of course, they will when it comes to the two of us. But obviously, every former president has to make a living, and every former first lady I know writes a book.” –Hillary “Rodham” Clinton defending the ethics of her book “deal.”

“The Democratic establishment in Washington is no longer connected to the grass roots. The national party is nothing but a fund-raising machine. Terry McAuliffe, head of the Democratic National Committee, is distinguished mostly by his ability to wrestle dollars from donors.” –Clinton’s former Labor Secretary Robert Reich

VILLAGE IDIOTS

“CNN’s image will be forever tarnished by giving someone like Limbaugh an even bigger microphone.” –NOW President Kim Gandy on the network’s offer of a show to Rush Limbaugh in an effort to bolster sagging market share.

“The beard changes everything. It smacks of long-repressed rebellion. It says: Love me for who I am or not at all. What do American women want in a president? … Women want someone masculine but not so masculine that we can’t control him.” –Erica Jong

“Homosexual [is] a medical term used to criminalise lesbians, gay men and bisexuals (LGB) in the 19th century. The term should generally be avoided, although some older LGB people may describe themselves this way.” –Scotland Yard’s “Diversity” Handbook

From the “Village Academic Curriculum” File: “Yes, I do believe people should study [pornography] and if I wanted to it would be alright as well. It’s a big part of our culture and it’s close to a $14 billion a year industry.” –University of Massachusetts, Amherst, professor Richard Burt on his academic line of study.

SHORT CUTS

“If you make one word out of ‘The IRS’ it spells ‘theirs.’ Which is how Democrats view the money the citizens of this great country earn.” –Lyn Nofziger

Conversation from the “Headline Writing Dept.”: “The Supreme Court today ruled that dancing is a form of free speech.” – “Court says ‘Hokey-Pokey Okey-Dokey’!” –Bob Thaves in the comic strip “Frank & Ernest”

“One writer stood head and shoulders above the crowd, which admittedly isn’t terribly difficult when everybody else is prostrate.” –Mark Steyn

St. Peter wising up a “reluctant soul” in heaven: “The balance of life requires a counterbalance … on Earth.” Query in reply: “You mean jerks are part of the master plan?” St. Peter: “Well, who else are you gonna get to run the governments?” –Wiley Miller in the comic strip “Non Sequitur”

“…[T]he Chinese are a cinch to win first place in the Hop, Skip and U.S. Plane Downing event. Their Olympic Games are scheduled to take place at the same time as China’s Annual Human Organ Harvest.” –Norman Liebmann

“Show me a guy who keeps pulling himself up by his bootstraps … and I’ll show you a guy who leaves no footprints.” –Johnny Hart in the comic strip “B.C.”

“Giving credit cards to government employees is like giving Viagra to Bill Clinton.” –George Getz, spokesman for the Libertarian party

Pollster to pollee: “Do you trust the government?” Reply: “As much as it trusts me.” –Bob Thaves in the comic strip “Frank & Ernest”

“How Hillaryous can you get?” –Sen. Zell Miller (D-Georgia) on Terry McAuliffe’s charge that Libby Dole is a “carbetbagger” for contemplating a primary campaign for a North Carolina Senate seat.

“After last November, Al [Gore] has decided he doesn’t need any more close shaves. …To be sure, his is a tentative beard, small, trim, the sort that could easily be mistaken from a distance for a faint smudge from an oversized Ben & Jerry’s caramel cone. …Go for it, Al. Say it loud, you’re hairy and proud. We’re ravin’, we ain’t shavin’, get used to it.” –Mark Steyn

“Modesto isn’t a Condit country; the United States is. We’re much more interested in politics as a spectator sport or soap opera.” –Brent Bozell

“Recently a boy in Washington was expelled from high school. Yes. It seems the school issued him a condom, and caught him praying for a chance to use it. (OK. It probably didn’t happen. But it’s true anyway.)” –Fred Reed

“In any event, our border with Mexico will soon be as wide open as Bill Clinton’s zipper.” –Norman Liebmann

Night Lines:

Jay Leno…. I’d like to start off the show by saying I’ve been married for 34 years, I’ve made some mistakes, some big mistakes – like watching the Gary Condit interview last night! …. Yesterday was a typical day for Condit. He spent 30 minutes with a woman he’s never met, he told some lies, and then he went home to his wife. …. The interview got so many viewers for ABC that they are now going to have Connie Chung interview a lying, cheating congressman every week! …. The government says the surplus is almost gone. So if you haven’t cashed your refund check yet – cash it soon! …. You all remember the gay fat guy from “Survivor,” Richard Hatch? He’s now in trouble with Rhode Island police. He beat up his boyfriend in a domestic dispute. Police told Hatch that if he is arrested one more time, he’ll be voted off Rhode Island! …. Hillary Rodham Clinton’s brother Tony was beaten up after he was found having sex with another man’s fiancée. This is just too great! I guess Connie Chung has her interview lined up for next week. …. See, that’s why Hillary has stuck with Bill for so long – he’s just like a brother to her. …. Al Sharpton says he’s going to run for president. Al Sharpton as president? How they going to fit his head on a coin?

David Letterman…. Before I go any further tonight, I just want to say that I’ve been married to my wife for 34 years and I’ve made some mistakes. In the interview Condit came off as shifty, weasely … if this guy confessed everyone would think he was lying!
Robert Blake just canceled his interview with Connie Chung. …. With Condit we have a serial adulterer, then we see him holding hands with his wife. Hey, this guy could be president! …. Top Ways Gary Condit Can Improve His Image: New campaign slogan: “Oh, like you’ve never killed anybody!” Blame everything on his idiot brother Jeb Condit. Get himself really cool nickname, like “G. Conditty.” Release lengthy list of former interns he did not kill. Announce he hasn’t been the same since the break-up with Nicole Kidman. Grow a full, reassuring, Kenny Rogers-style white beard. Confess, resign, serve 50-to-life.

Argus Hamilton…. Gary Condit was grilled by Connie Chung last night on ABC’s PrimeTime Live. For all his faults, people in his district say he’s done a tremendous job as congressman. Everyone agrees that he has a real knack for making problems disappear. …. Bill Clinton spoke to 8,000 women Wednesday at a Japanese vitamin convention in Las Vegas for his usual speaking fee of $125,000. He’s comfortable in Nevada where prostitution is legal. He spent eight years in Washington where it’s mandatory. …. Democrats whined that President Bush gave away the surplus in tax cuts. The budget really is tight. They won’t even project next year’s surplus until they find out whether the Powerball Lottery winner decides on lump sum or annual payments. …. President Bush promoted his faith-based initiative [telling] reporters he will donate his $600 tax refund to his favorite charity. That would be the National Foundation For and Against Stem Cell Research. …. Democrats want the Congress to set national voting standards before the next presidential election. They allege there were just too many errors in the last contest. Are they implying that the United States Supreme Court can’t count to five? …. The Democratic party holds a fund-raiser next month at the historic Mayflower Hotel in Washington D.C. For over 100 years, lawyers, lobbyists, senators and congressmen have stayed in this hotel. The Gideon Bibles are on chains. …. Bill Clinton refers to Gary Condit as Mini-Me.

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