Wednesday Chronicle

Chronicle

Aug. 22, 2001

THE FOUNDATION

“The first act of man, when he looked around and saw himself a creature which he did not make, and a world furnished for his reception, must have been devotion, and devotion must ever continue sacred to every individual man, as it appears right to him; and governments do mischief by interfering.” –Thomas Paine

INSIGHT

“An informed patriotism is what we want.” –Ronald Reagan

“Governments are not formed to achieve, but to protect.” –James Fenimore Cooper

“Mankind are very odd Creatures: One Half censure what they practice, the other half practice what they censure; the rest always say and do as they ought.” –Benjamin Franklin

“Faith is the conviction that God knows more than we do about this life and He will get us through it.” –Max Lucado

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” –Robert Frost

“Our faith and our friendships are not shattered by one big act, but by many small neglects.” –J. Gustav White

“When sorrows come, they come not single spies, But in battalions.” –William Shakespeare

“Prayer is exhaling the spirit of man and inhaling the spirit of God.” –Edwin Keith

“Be still, and in the quiet moments, listen to the voice of your heavenly Father. His words can renew your spirit. No one knows you and your needs like He does.” –Janet Weaver

“Love gives itself; it is not bought.” –Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Christianity must mean everything to us before it can mean anything to others.” –Donald Soper

UPRIGHT

“Life gets its meaning, not from self-fulfillment or success or even heroic existential engagement, but from a personal relationship with our Creator. And any life dedicated to that pursuit will have more than ‘family values’ – it will have eternal significance.” –Charles Colson

“Freedom is such a precious commodity. Yet sometimes the freest of people devalue it the most.” –Ward Connerly

“The worst thing in the world that could happen for the Coalition for the Homeless is for the homeless problem to be wiped out.” –Rush Limbaugh

“No event over the past quarter century has had a more profound impact on the U.S. economy and the prosperity of the 1980s and ‘90s than the Reagan tax cut of 1981.” –Stephen Moore

“Civility in the first place is a matter of shaping young people’s character. The tools of this art include precepts, examples, exhortation, and shame.” –Charles R. Kesler

“Also in 1973, 28 years and 45 million abortions ago, our government again used the Constitution to degrade human life. It gave us Roe v. Wade.” –Linda Bowles

“Liberty. It depends on fighters who understand that just because something is popular doesn’t make it correct. …We struggle forever on slippery slopes to preserve what makes us unique as a nation.” –Paul M. Rodriguez

“Every dollar absconded by the burgeoning beast of government weakens personal freedom and builds the fetters that will eventually choke the life out of any republic.” –Chuck Baldwin

“To diplomats, obfuscation is not a hazard but a duty.” –Paul Greenberg

“Some of today’s new language, like cosmetics, conceal and confuse.” –Walter Williams

“…[B]lame, and complicity in murder, attaches to all those who willfully refuse to recognize the limits of diplomacy and the duty of active self-defense.” –George Will

“Evil cannot co-exist with good, anymore than sickness and wellness can. An individual inclines toward good or evil, and so does a culture.” –Cal Thomas

“No, democratic governance and theology don’t consort well: not when governance claims the privilege of making all the final calls.” –Bill Murchison

“Third-party liability is all the rage in a nation in headlong flight from personal responsibility and convinced that every ill can be cured by punitive damages.” –Don Feder

“Men are still biting the apple every chance they get, still blaming the temptress for their fall from grace.” –Kathleen Parker

“No matter how benign his intentions and regardless of the support he is receiving from some in the pro-life community, it is difficult to understand how President Bush’s decision will not aid and abet the devaluing of human life and the robust culture of death that pervades today’s society.” –David Limbaugh

“Bush’s willingness to spend $250 million of taxpayers’ money for embryonic stem-cell research reflects a statist, collectivist view of government.” –Larry Elder

“One is more admired for claiming to do good than for proving to be right.” –R. Emmett Tyrrell

“If President Bush really wants to gain the attention of Hispanic voters, then he should spend less time worrying about the Mexican economy and more time worrying about our own economic development.” –Nicholas Sanchez

“Maybe history is its own reward. Those who cherish and study the past for its own sake will find it full of surprises – some of them heartbreaking.” –Joseph Sobran

“…[H]istory clearly shows that one of the fastest ways to undermine the unity of a nation and fan the flames of divisiveness and chaos is by eroding the bond of a common language.” –Mauro Mujica, chairman of the board and CEO of U.S. English Inc.

“The combination of U.S. immigration and civil-rights policies is destroying the equality in law that is the foundation of our constitutional order.” –Paul Craig Roberts

“This is the justification for totalitarian government. The reasoning is that government, not individuals, know best.” –Diane Alden

“In avoiding the Star Chamber, America has recreated it: a star chamber of rules and rights, not privy councillors this time. But despotic nonetheless.” –Amity Shlaes

EDITORIAL EXEGESIS

“In 1990, during the first Bush administration, Adarand Constructors, a Colorado Springs firm that makes guardrails, submitted the low bid for a Department of Transportation contract. The job went to another firm, however, because Adarand was owned by whites, and its rival was owned by Hispanics. Adarand sued; its case came to the Supreme Court, which asked the feds to retool their program to demonstrate a ‘compelling’ government interest; the retooling was done, and approved by a circuit court, and it will appear, on appeal, before the Supreme Court once again next term. Now the Justice Department of Bush II has filed a brief asking the Supremes to let the program stand, so that ‘public dollars’ will ‘not serve to finance the evil of private prejudice.’ What about the stupidity of government prejudice? During the campaign, George W. Bush said he was against quotas, but for ‘affirmative access.’ Watch those weasel words; they can protect old quota programs better than any guardrails Adarand Constructors makes.” –National Review

DEZINFORMATSIA

CNN (AKA “Clintonista News Network”) is desperately trying to play catch-up with Fox News, which offers more ideologically balanced reporting. This week, they are courting Rush Limbaugh as a potential program host. (Ted Turner is undoubtedly rolling over in his grave – wait, is he dead?)

From the Commissars of Public Opinion: “Contributions to the legal defense fund can be made to Andrea Pia Yates Defense Fund, Horizon Capitol Bank, One City Center 1021 Main Street, Houston, Texas, 77002. Any money left over from Andrea’s defense will be given to women’s charities dealing with postpartum depression and psychosis.” –Katie Couric avoiding the obvious question, “Who will decide when there’s ‘any money left over’?”

“I didn’t think it was a good decision because I think in these sorts of things you do go with what the scientists say within, you know, certain parameters.” –Jonathan Alter on his disappointment with the Bush decision on stem-cell research funding

This week’s “Dan Rather Sociocrat Media Sycophant” Award: “But even today they could use that money to pay off the debt rather than spend it on other programs.” –Tim Russert regurgitating the “fiscal responsibility” line on why the Bush tax cut was not “responsible.”

“Fifty million Frenchmen can’t be wrong.” –Time magazine’s Jack White on a recent poll showing French disapproval of Bush foreign policy **Another American Leftist displaying his Europeanness envy!

“Jackson, the charismatic national symbol of human rights….” –Connie Chung on Jesse Jackson

LEFTOVERS

“In a time that we no longer have a Cold War, there is no real threat to American security. I think the question is, what is this obsession that we are seeing that comes out of Washington where we are gearing up toward a threat that is not there, towards some real fantasy that is looming?” –“Rev.” Al Sharpton on forming an exploratory committee for a presidential bid in 2004 – his very own “real fantasy that is looming.”

“We already have a budget, unfortunately, that’s doing that, and that really worries me. We said at the time the tax cut passed that we thought that it was too large, too unfocused, and that it would cause us to go into Social Security and Medicare.” –Dick Gephardt, House Democrite Leader, showing the new “age” card in “Swamp poker,” which Demos hope will trump the “tax cut.”

This week’s “Clintonista Presidue” Award: “I just wanted to let you know that here he is highly appreciated for his support of so many philanthropic institutions and funds, and that if I can, I would like to make my recommendation to consider his case.” –Former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak in a conversation with Bill Clinton regarding the Marc Rich pardon

VILLAGE IDIOTS

“The production of human cloned embryos can go ahead within the next 60 days, and implantation will of course come later, after we verify that the quality of those embryos is viable enough to yield a healthy pregnancy.” –Panos Zavos on CBS’s “Face the Nation,” with a new definition for “healthy pregnancy.”

“You can most find anything by going onto Yahoo.” –A 16-year old high school student on the benefit of the Internet for school assignments. **That’s why there are Internet filters!

This week’s “Village Marxist” Award: “In seeking a resolution, we are focusing on how to promote America’s economic interests while fulfilling our WTO obligations.” –U.S. Special Trade Representative Robert B. Zoellick in response to the European Union claims that the U.S. has violated international trade law **Uh, Bob…. Didn’t you know that can’t be done?

From the “Village Academic Curriculum in Reverse” File: In Seattle, Rebecca Porcaro, a Rainier Beach High School graduate, won an apology and $40,000 from Seattle Public Schools after filing discrimination charges. Porcaro, who is white, was constantly harassed by black students, with no intervention by the school administration.

SHORT CUTS

“The federal government cannot maintain a budget surplus any more than an alcoholic can leave a fresh bottle of whiskey untouched in the cupboard.” –Rep. Ron Paul

“Animals eat other animals. So long as they do so, there is no rational justification for human beings not to eat animals as well. Humanity faces a moral decision: imprison all predators, or pass the hamburgers.” –David Dieteman

“…[A] teacher who is too ignorant to spell her subject, and too lazy to use a dictionary, ought to be flipping burgers. Simple burgers, with no moving parts.” –Fred Reed

“Six more surfers in Florida have been bitten by sharks. One might say that Florida this year has a surfeit of sharks. By the way, you’ll notice that there is not one lawyer among the shark bite victims. Experts say that’s because sharks don’t bite their own.” –Lyn Nofziger

“…[D]elivering news you know to be bogus is a news felony.” –Bill O'Reilly

“There’s this show on TV about this enormous fat lady who’s always doing specials on things like Dwarves With Three Heads and the Women Who Love Them Too Much, which would be at all. But what was scary was the people that came to watch.” –Fred Reed

“This just in: An animal trainer has become an overnight millionaire. He takes his trained 600-pound gorilla to retirement homes, where, for a fee, it will twist safety caps off prescription bottles.” –Norman Liebmann

“Gary Condit is what our soggy therapy culture calls ‘a work in progress.’ On the other hand, the work may be finished. The California congressman is interesting politically not because he’s been working without either zipper or conscience – the town is full of between-the-sheets artists working without a net – but because he’s the test of whether Bill Clinton can be successfully cloned.” –Wesley Pruden

“Publicly announcing a strategy on reshaping a presidential image, even the right strategy, has two ill effects. It warns the punters to be on their guard against your advertised manipulation, and it suggests that the president may be a potted plant moved around the political spectrum at the whim of others.” –John O'Sullivan

“It looks like Al Sharpton is serious about wanting to be our second black president. He’s begun to put together an exploratory committee. Maybe he can get Tawana Brawley to head it up.” –Lyn Nofziger

“Embryonic stem-cell research? ADA? Hey, we don’t need no stinkin’ Constitution.” –Larry Elder

“It often seems that the only people who take L.A. seriously are the press and the elected officials. Everyone else in this unwieldy sprawl of ill-defined suburbs is a kind of spectator. Elections are like Dodger games; people arrive late and leave by the seventh inning.” –Rip Rense

“Jen Crawford has assumed an elevated position on the governor’s staff.” –Brian Lee of the Montgomery Journal in a story about the advancement of Maryland Governor Parris Glendening’s rumored paramour, Ms. Crawford, in his administration.

Night Lines:

Jay Leno…. It was so hot today that Democrats were getting behind Al Gore just for the shade. …. According to the White House, doctors say that George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever recorded by someone in the White House. Well, second lowest – Dick Cheney got his down to zero, didn’t he? …. Bill Clinton says that in his book he will set the record straight. Well, if there is anyone to set the record straight, it’s Bill Clinton! …. Earlier this week Gary Condit lashed out at his hometown newspaper for calling for him to resign. Condit should be careful – he might be the one delivering those papers in a few years. …. Condit does plan to run in 2002. Not for Congress, but from the law! …. Six people in Florida were attacked by sharks over the weekend. I always use the buddy system when I’m swimming. I always use a buddy chubbier than I am, to keep the sharks away from me! Two-thirds of Americans are overweight – that’s good news for sharks! …. Tim Burton says there will not be a sequel to “Planet of The Apes.” I guess he didn’t understand the ending either. …. There is a new firm. If you e-mail them your concern or issue, they will then send someone to picket the White House in your place. How lazy has this generation become? How ironic is that – send someone in your place to protest cloning! …. The NAACP had a big meeting this week. They’re still not happy with the roles of minorities in Hollywood. NBC fought back, though. They said next week in an episode of “Fear Factor” a black guy will try to drive a car all the way through Beverly Hills! …. According to a new survey, the number one thing women are looking for in a man? Honesty. That explains why Clinton and Condit do so well with women.

David Letterman…. Letterman’s Top Signs the New York Times Is Slipping: Instead of “All the News That’s Fit to Print,” slogan is “Stuff We Heard From a Guy Who Says His Friend Heard About It.” President does something on the TV show “West Wing,” and the next day it’s on the front page. It’s 108 pages, and there’s not one single vowel. For every story, the accompanying photo is of Tony Danza. Obituary has become a list of people the editors wish would die. Notice on sports page: “All scores are approximate.” Only ad in job classifieds: “Wanted: Someone who knows how to put together a **^#%&@*# newspaper.” For the last two weeks, paper’s been edited by a disoriented Anne Heche.

Argus Hamilton…. The New York Times predicted that Al Gore will face competition for the 2004 nomination from Tom Daschle, Dick Gephardt, John Kerry and Joe Lieberman. The debates should be thrilling with these five guys. If they were cards, you’d fold. …. The Dow Jones Industrial Average took a dive Friday when jobs cuts combined with bad profits reports raised fears of a protracted recession. At last, it is apparent what the W. stands for in George W. Bush. It stands for Herbert Hoover. …. Prince Charles received permission to marry Camilla Parker-Bowles. He said he will not head the Church of England when he’s king because he has committed adultery. He’s got company, guess who’ll never head the Church of Arkansas, either. …. Al Gore headlines an Iowa Democratic dinner next month sporting his new look. He forgot to shave for a few days during his vacation last month, and hair began to grow on his face. The next thing Al Gore knew, he had invented the beard. …. Senator Byron Dorgan of North Dakota urged the Treasury Department Saturday to ease the ban on U.S. citizens wanting to travel to Cuba. The current route is so cumbersome. Every time an American wants to fly directly to Havana, he has to hide in a closet with the Miami relatives and wait for Janet Reno to make her move. …. Hillary Clinton told a magazine … she and Bill Clinton really enjoy decorating their new homes. She said it’s nice to be able to hang things where they want. It’s a warning to George Stephanopoulous not to drop by any time soon. …. Hillary Clinton co-sponsored an amendment that bans the interstate transport of roosters for cockfighting. The birds are specially trained to scratch each other’s eyes out. Not everyone can afford to hire James Carville to do it for them. …. USA Today says Democrats are backing off from gun control measures they once supported in order to take back the South. Now they’re thinking. In a region that has the Ten Commandments in every classroom, there’s no fighting Charlton Heston.

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