Wednesday Chronicle

Chronicle

Nov. 14, 2001

THE FOUNDATION

“Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must first be overcome.” –Samuel Johnson

INSIGHT

“Great things are done when men and mountains meet.” –William Blake

“The nation that forgets its defenders will itself be forgotten.” –Calvin Coolidge

“Pray not for lighter burdens but for stronger backs.” –Theodore Roosevelt

“In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.” –John Bunyan

“True patriotism is of no party.” –Tobias Smollett

“The attempt to make God just in the eyes of sinful men will always lead to error.” –William L. Brown

“Unless there is within us that which is above us, we shall soon yield to that which is about us.” –P.T. Forsyth

“A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.” – English proverb

“We must act today in order to preserve tomorrow. And let there be no misunderstanding – we are going to begin to act, beginning today.” –Ronald Reagan

“Acta non verba.” – Deeds speak louder than words.

UPRIGHT

“During World War II, we moved heaven and earth in the Manhattan Project to build an atomic bomb before Hitler could – because we knew our survival hung in the balance. Today, we have to embrace a similar commitment to averting nuclear terrorism.” –Steve Chapman

“We claim to be liberators. Every army does. But we can prove it. On camera. …This is no time to get lost in the morass of Afghan politics. Mr. President, take Kabul. The politics will follow.” –Charles Krauthammer **“Liberation” is right – if this week’s scenes of happy Kabulites getting shaves and discarding burqas continue….

“September 11 has taught Americans that we need to return to being the confident moral force we once were, and fast – to act resolutely and to follow principle. We must expect, but ultimately ignore, the carping; be polite, but forgo the apologies; and let our critics, not us, worry only about the tension and hurt that follows.” –Victor Davis Hanson

“…[I]n the dust of Ground Zero, no poppies blow nor ever will.” –Mark Steyn

“Anti-Americanism exalts hyphens and disparages unity.” –Don Feder

“…[S]ociety has a responsibility to preserve itself against those who would choose to destroy it.” –Herbert London

“Only by removing ourselves from NATO and the UN can we reassert our fundamental right to defend our borders without the approval or participation of any international coalition.” –Rep. Ron Paul

“We should understand that how we shape the future depends on understanding our history, the remarkable experiment of our democracy – exactly what we’re fighting to protect in this war against 12th century barbarism.” –Suzanne Fields

“Either we abandon the utopian globalism of open borders and ‘ally-ally-in-free’ immigration or we lose the war on terrorism and our freedoms with it.” –Pat Buchanan

“Republicans can’t declare a ceasefire while the Democrats proceed with their partisan sorties any more than America can sleep during Ramadan while the Taliban refortifies itself. It is suicidal.” –David Limbaugh

EDITORIAL EXEGESIS

“It is a natural temptation to flinch from the awful necessity of killing, to think that conflicts and disputes can be worked out or, failing that, settled by the application of a nicely calibrated amount of violence. But a determined and fanatical enemy is immune to any persuasion short of destruction, and on that all else hinges. The U.S. has sought to prompt revolt in the Pashtun south of Afghanistan; the revolt won’t come until the Taliban is destroyed. Pakistan complains that the bombing campaign is dragging on too long; it won’t, if the Taliban is destroyed with dispatch. The State Department worries about forging the post-Taliban future; its leverage to do so will increase only when America destroys the Taliban with massive force. …Winston Churchill wrote after Pearl Harbor that he knew that America’s critics would be wrong. We wouldn’t just ‘be a vague blur on the horizon to friend or foe.’ Osama bin Laden needs to know it too.” –National Review

DEZINFORMATSIA

“It is really interesting looking at a piece of wire copy this morning that five other Airbuses have crashed since 1988. And the last one was an Iran airplane that was mistakenly shot down by a U.S. Navy plane. And this morning when we were asking the Iranian President about U.S.-Iranian relations and terrorism, he said ‘you define terrorism in one way, but when someone shoots down one of our commercial aircraft that’s terrorism for Iranians as well.” –ABC talkinghead Peter Jennings getting it all wrong. **Again for the record, Osama bin Laden has deliberately targeted innocent civilians. The accidental shootdown of an Iranian commercial airliner by a Navy ship, July 3, 1988, was just that – an accident (which may well have been precipitated by the placement of a transponder in the front wheel well of the Iranian Airbus – squawking like a warplane – in order to precipitate the shootdown).

“I’m very fit. I still box. I don’t smoke. I’d like to find a reporter who can outdistance me. I have a 31-inch waist, a 42-inch chest. I’m still real butch. Courage has never been my problem. Brave men run in my family. I think, arguably, I am the most experienced war correspondent in America today. Some people in Europe have more experience. But in the U.S., I’ve seen more combat than 99 percent of the armed forces personnel.” –TV talk-show host Geraldo Rivera on becoming a combat reporter for Fox **Leave it to a Leftie “war correspondent” to note how fast he can run.

“General Rainville, as much as we would like to think it’s not, sexism is still alive and well in many quarters. Do you encounter much of it in your job?” –Katie Couric prying into what’s “alive and well” in the general’s quarters.

SOCIOCRATS

“Apparently, free speech only applies if you belong to acceptable groups.” –Berkeley Mayor Shirley Dean responding to the impending City Council vote requesting she censor from her speech any mention of “boycott” of that Leftist lair and instead “emphasize the strength and uniqueness of Berkeley’s businesses, which continue to enjoy a strong regional draw.” **We guess this means the boycott is working – even to the point of Leftists turning on each other … and opening some eyes.

VILLAGE IDIOTS

Follow-up: Last week we reported on Ms. Marcelee Gralapp, the Boulder Public Library director, who refused to hang an American flag over the library’s front entrance because it might offend someone’s sensibilities, though inside the library was an “art” exhibit called “Hung Out to Dry” featuring a clothesline with ceramic penises. This week, the ceramic objects were stolen from the clothesline and in their place was left an American flag and a note reading, “El Dildo Bandito was here.” Mr. Bandito was later identified as one Bob Rowan, husband, father and Boulder taxpayer, who entered the building in the middle of the day and, in full view of other visitors, packed the “art” into a box which he planned to return to its creator, Ms. Susanne Walker. Mr. Rowan said, “I detest the fact they’re hanging there, number one, but the timing; it’s the wrong time to do something like this. And it should never belong in something I pay taxes for.” Ms. Walker responded, the theft, “makes a joke of the pain and suffering involved in this exhibit.” Boulder police are consulting the sculptress to see if she wishes to press charges. Barry Satlow, head of the Boulder County ACLU, objects, echoing the “violence against women” line, saying, “If she doesn’t complain, it’s OK, it’s not a crime? Bull. This is a crime and should be treated as a crime.” **Hey, we think Mr. Rowan should claim he was engaging in “performance art” and ask the ACLU to defend him!

SHORT CUTS

“The one place we could be sure of not finding the Taliban was in camps we had said we were going to bomb. Bin Laden may be waxing his skis in Tahoe, or chugging absinthe in Paris, but he ain’t in those hutments, methinks.” –Fred Reed

“Republicans this year sought their old designation as the stupid party.” –Robert Novak on the recent elections in New Jersey and Virginia

“A phony is a phony. And no overpaid publicist is going to change that.” –Bill O'Reilly

“[Jesse Jackson] is not sharp enough to slice baloney.” –Jonah Goldberg **But he certainly serves up a whole lot of it!

Night Lines:

Jay Leno…. Geraldo is going to Afghanistan – and you thought they hated us before! …. What’s the latest on the war? I heard we are now dropping 15,000-pound bombs. These things weigh 8 tons, they are 5 feet high and 17 feet long, the largest weapon on Earth. Just yesterday someone was able to sneak one past security at O'Hare airport. …. President Bush gave a speech in Atlanta at the Centers for Disease Control. See, that’s the difference between Bush and Clinton. Bush goes to the Centers For Disease Control to give a speech, Clinton goes to get checked out. …. On this date 40 years ago, Ellis Island closed down. Ellis Island used to be a place where they processed immigrants. That was back when they really processed immigrants. …. A new product out now. Diet Coke with lemon – didn’t that used to be called Pledge? …. Jerry Seinfeld and his wife just celebrated the one-year birthday of their daughter. Happy Birthday to her! She’s the only Seinfeld spinoff to last more than 13 weeks! …. California Governor Gray Davis discovered another threat today – his chances for re-election!

David Letterman…. The Top Things That Will Get You Thrown Out of the Taliban: Lighting up in a smoke-free cave; Questioning strategy of battling Stealth bombers with a stick; Overdrawing your checking account at Talibank; Nominating Al Gore for membership because he has a beard; After President Bush speech, remarking, “You know, the guy has some valid points about us being completely insane”; Shaving your beard just to see if the Gillette Mach 3 with patented comfort edges really does give you the cleanest, smoothest shave possible; Parking your camel in the Supreme Leader’s space; Calling Osama Bin Laden by his real first name, “Earl”; Mailing Anthrax without proper postage

Argus Hamilton…. The New Yorker claims U.S. Rangers were ambushed by Taliban troops on October 20th and driven from a battlefield. That’s hogwash. If the Taliban had what it takes to defeat the United States, Bill Gates would have hired them four years ago. …. The Taliban challenged President Bush and Tony Blair to a duel. They invited them to bring rifles and face off against Mullah Omar. It’s proof that no matter how much heroin the Taliban exports, they keep a little stash for their weekend parties. …. Federal investigators told the Senate Tuesday they have no idea who is behind the anthrax attacks or where the stuff was manufactured. The FBI is completely baffled. Everyone agrees it’s the first perfect crime since the Whitewater land deal. …. The U.S. offered Tuesday to help Pakistan seal its border with Afghanistan. What a great idea. With the U.S. helping to patrol their border, the schools in Pakistan can stop worrying about Ramadan and start planning for Cinco de Mayo. …. Bill Clinton resigned from the U.S. Supreme Court bar to avoid being disbarred over the Monica Lewinsky affair. He didn’t have a chance. The American Bar Association defines sex as a holy and sacred act symbolizing the billing of a client.

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