Wednesday Chronicle


Dec. 5, 2001


“Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the boisterous sea of liberty.” –Thomas Jefferson


“Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.” –Helen Keller

“The Bible is endorsed by the ages. Our civilization is built upon its words. In no other book is there such a collection of inspired wisdom.” –Dwight D. Eisenhower

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” –Theodore Roosevelt

“Humility is the root, mother, nurse, foundation, and bond of all virtue.” –St. John Chrysostom

“I have held many things in my hands, and have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess.” –Martin Luther

“The proper aim of giving is to put the recipient in a state where he no longer needs our gift.” –C.S. Lewis

“I tell you true, liberty is the best of all things; never live beneath the noose of a servile halter.” –William Wallace

“It is not enough to fight. It is the spirit which we bring to the fight that decides the issue. It is morale that wins the victory.” –General George C. Marshall

“The time is now, my fellow Americans, to recapture our destiny, to take it into our own hands.” –Ronald Reagan


“America’s founders, having survived a violent and protracted struggle to break away from England, shared a belief that their fledgling nation should be free from foreign entanglements.” –Rep. Ron Paul

“…[T]he world has been changed for the better precisely because Christians weren’t willing to treat their faith as a purely private matter. In no area has this been more true than in Christianity’s championing of the weak, the poor, the sick, and the defenseless.” –Charles Colson

“Sept. 11 was supposed to be a wake-up call to moral seriousness. Let’s show it and stop acting like the guilty party.” –Charles Krauthammer

“If … Osama bin Laden is captured, killed or credibly reported to have perished in his upholstered cave, then Americans may conclude that the war on terrorism has been won and that normalcy, shopping, a feckless foreign policy, multiculturalism, insecure borders, and MTV can resume as before.” –John O'Sullivan warning against reverting to a “false sense of invulnerability.”

“…[W]ays of life are a conscious moral decision and as such are subject to the standards of right and wrong or better and worse.” –Frederick B. Meekins

“Democracy doesn’t thrive in darkness, and neither does history. Both need sunlight.” –Paul Greenberg

“No nation can be an honest broker between a democracy under attack and a terrorist coalition on the march.” –William Safire

“Once upon a time conservatives professed deep respect for slippery slopes and unintended consequences, and understood that precedents can be fearsome booby traps.” –Wesley Pruden

“Just like the child who pointed out that the emperor had no clothes, the press has a role to carefully observe and point out the ‘bare’ facts.” –Paul M. Rodriguez

“So far we should be thankful that our military leadership is guided more by Thucydides than by Marx, Freud, or Foucault, and so believes that the more things change in war, the more the fundamentals remain the same.” –Victor Davis Hanson

“When asked why he robbed banks, Willie Sutton answered [because] that’s where the money is. When asked why [homosexual] activists are so determined to be Scoutmasters, one possible answer is [because] that’s where the boys are.” –Richard John Neuhaus


“This war is not being fought to vindicate the American criminal-justice system in all its faded glory; nor to protect liberal shibboleths. Those who pretend otherwise – including Europeans who are saying they will not extradite suspected terrorists to us for fear they will face military tribunals – are being dangerously short-sighted. Their short-sightedness consists of forgetting that we are at war.” –National Review


“Look, Bernie, of course there’s a liberal bias in the news. All the networks tilt left…. If you repeat any of this, I’ll deny it.” –CBS News President Andrew Heyward to former CBS correspondent Bernie Goldberg, reported in Godlberg’s soon-to-be-published book “Bias”

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I do deny that we have a bias….” –Heyward on a C-SPAN Sunday afternoon broadcast from Summer 2000.

“Treason.” –CBS reporter Eric Engberg on Goldberg’s book **So, they do consider themselves a country apart!

“We spent all night drinking and smoking cigars. He told me CNN was invaluable to him. And I thought, if Fidel Castro can’t live without it, we ought to be able to sell CNN all over the world.” –CNN founder Ted Turner on how Cuban tyrant Fidel Castro inspired him, in 1982, to broadcast CNN around the world. (After his 1982 meeting with Castro, Turner commented, “Fidel ain’t a communist. He’s a dictator just like me.”) **Confirming the “Commie News Network” is “invaluable” to Reds around the world….


“The bottom line is this is George Bush’s recession.” –Rep. Nita Lowey, head of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee

“Well, of course, the Republicans have been running attack ads for some time against many Democrats including Mr. Gephardt and myself, so that’s not uncommon.” –Tom Daschle when asked about new DNC ads calling the current economic slump the “Bush Recession.”

“These are difficult and unusual times, but we must not run up the national debt with risky, unfair tax measures that won’t help the economy recover. To make matters worse the Senate Republican Leadership is now taking its marching orders from the radical House Republicans. This past week Senate Republicans used procedural tricks to delay any compromise on the stimulus plan. …President Bush has led us well in this war, we need his leadership now more than ever to get Republicans back to the table.” –Demo Sen. Harry Reid attempting the “divide and conquer” maneuver to separate Mr. Bush from those rascally, “radical” House Republicans.

“While the rest of the country waves the flag of Americana, we understand we are not part of that. We don’t owe America anything – America owes us.” –Rev. Al Sharpton gearing up for his threatened presidential bid.


“Cruise is not, and never has been, homosexual and has never had a homosexual affair.” –Los Angeles Superior Court stipulation in summary of Tom Cruise’s $100 million defamation lawsuit against a publisher who claimed Cruise was homosexual. **And we thought “gay” was chic!

“What about whales? They are ignoring animals that are more important. Animals need saving and that’s more important. This New York thing is being blown out of proportion. …Who gives a f— about New York when elephants are being killed?” –18-year-old Lee Ryan of Blue, “Britain’s top boy band,” on the 9-11 atrocity.

The “Santa Saga”: “All the attention is missing a key point: This year is different from most years. The events of September 11 require a different kind of ceremony.” –Kensington, Maryland, Town Council trying to defend its “No Santas” policy for the community tree-lighting ceremony. Attending the Sunday tree lighting: hundreds of volunteer Santas and Steve Berggren of Alexandria, Virginia, in a Grinch costume and carrying a sign reading, “How the Council Stole Christmas”; “I opposed the tyranny of political correctness,” Berggren said. Another sign: “Yes, Kensington, there is a Santa Claus.” Noting similar furor over an attempted ban on smoking in private homes, one Kensington councilman noted: “At least now Santa can stay home and smoke.”


“Rummy’s [Defense Secretary Don Rumsfeld’s nicknames are "DR” and “Rummy”] like a carpenter. He always measures twice and cuts once.“ –Richard Allen, President Ronald Reagan’s first national security adviser **Evidently Mr. Rumsfeld never "cuts short”!

Pentagon Briefing exchange – Rumsfeld: “I could, but I shan’t.” Reporter: “You can’t use that word on TV.”

“We’re pretty confident we fixed everything, but this is rocket science so there is some chance that we missed something, and that’s why we’re testing.” –Air Force Lt. Gen. Ronald Kadish, director of the Ballistic Missile Defense Organization, on the weekend’s twice-scrubbed fifth hit-to-kill missile defense test **Nice for once to hear somebody say “this IS rocket science….”

“Indeed, so much of what the CIA learns is collected from newspaper clippings that the director of the agency ought to be called the Pastemaster General.” –Wesley Pruden

“If caught alive, Mullah Omar and his Keystone Clerics, along with thuggish mercenaries from the Arab world, should ideally be shaved, paraded in stripes, and muzzled as they await destiny.” –Victor Davis Hanson

“When the Afghan sisters began emerging from their hoods and it looked as if American bombing had liberated more women than every women’s studies department put together, the feminists nimbly discovered a whole new set of grievances.” –Mark Steyn

Night Lines:

Jay Leno…. Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge is telling Americans to report anything suspicious right now – like the Detroit Lions scoring a touchdown. …. This cloning story is big. You know what Jesse Jackson said about cloning? “We can’t have cloning without the moaning!” Do you know how you can tell if a Michael Jackson clone is real? It looks nothing like him. Why would you clone Osama bin Laden? So he can be killed twice! Do you know why it’s so easy to clone Hillary Clinton? Because the eggs are already frozen! …. Have you seen the new Gyroscope Scooter? This thing is supposed to revolutionize the transportation industry. Hey, if you want to revolutionize transportation, how about a third X-ray machine at the airports for starters? This scooter weighs 60 pounds and can go about 12 miles per hour, so it’s a Geo Metro, basically. …. Al Gore is now busy running a family restaurant. You know, this guy was so close to being the leader of the free world – now he’s just asking people if they want the special.

David Letterman…. Top Questions on the Application for Doorman at Osama Bin Laden’s Cave Complex: Do you have references from maniacal terrorists you’ve worked for? Mind signing for exploding packages? You’re not taking this job so you can kill Osama and get the $25 million, are you? Do you mind being drugged, knocked out, blindfolded and driven 200 miles to and from work every day? List three references who can vouch for your beard. Can you make balloon animals? Osama loves balloon animals. Will you contribute to the 401(k) even though there’s not a chance in hell you’ll see 65? Are you okay with some light typing and filing? List the schools where you received your fanatical, hate-filled education. May we pay you in sand?

Argus Hamilton…. Madison Avenue released the first wave of patriotic TV commercials since the war began. Some of the ads are a little over-the-top. It’s not true that if you don’t go straight to McDonald’s and buy a Happy Meal, the terrorists will have won. …. President Bush watched the Army-Navy football game in Philadelphia Saturday. The game was broadcast on Armed Forces Radio all over the world. Whenever either quarterback went for the bomb, CNN reported that 30 more civilians were dead in Kandahar. …. Donald Rumsfeld announced Sunday that U.S. forces may pump deadly gases into the caves of Afghanistan. It works very well. They just did the same thing to Tom Daschle’s office, and suddenly he’s willing to talk about drilling in Alaska. …. Taliban leader Mullah Omar fled his headquarters just before it was bombed Tuesday. He then ordered his men to stand their ground and fight to the death. No one’s seen leadership like this since Bill Clinton gave the invocation at Promise Keepers. …. Prince Charles went to church Sunday with mistress Camilla Parker Bowles and they were welcomed. After 450 years, The Church of England finally has an exact definition of the Middle Way between Calvinism and Catholicism. It’s Clintonism. …. Bill Clinton moved into his top-floor offices in Harlem last week and in his first order of business, he openly advertised for interns. There’s nothing Hillary can do. President Bush told Americans to get back to their normal lives.

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