The Patriot Post® · Look Who's Talking

By Noel S. Williams

During the last Republican presidential debate, Nikki Haley invoked Margaret Thatcher’s quip: “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.” It’s so outlandish that, at first, it didn’t dignify a response, but now she’s moving up in the polls.

Despite her taunt, a recent poll indicates that Haley is the Republican presidential candidate most likely to beat Biden. Maybe it’s partly because of it. After all, she seeks to ingratiate herself to suburban women voters who may have appreciated the audience’s cheering chortle. Nevertheless, like much gender stereotyping that elicits a cheap thrill and immediate emotional satisfaction, it is deeply flawed.

Generally, women chatter more than men, as corroborated by this study. Here is further indication that women talk more than men. Women are especially chatty in building relationships and do tend to go on … and on … in their endearing way.

Men occasionally talk more when necessary to get something done. It’s hard to trust social science studies that are often concocted by intellectually incestuous researchers desperate to publish and desperate to disprove traditional stereotypes. Nevertheless, there’s plenty of evidence that men tend to be more task oriented.

In two of three scenarios studied by these researchers (students collaborating on a project and employees socializing in large groups), women far out-talked men. Perhaps “talk” is being charitable in the socializing context where gossip makes the rounds.

A reasonable conclusion is that women often talk more than men, and that can be a good thing. That can change depending on group dynamics and developing contingencies, especially in urgent situations. Men tend to be more verbose when solving problems. Indeed, as pointed out in this research, “The overwhelming evidence from data collected in mixed-gender groups is that men originate more behaviors related to solving the task confronting the group than do women.”

Haley’s gratuitous swipe against talkative men seems to be unraveling. Indeed, prevailing research indicates that female communication often focuses on emotional connections. To their great, nurturing credit:

“Women tend to be more relationship oriented and accomplish tasks by building relationships first. They then know who to ask and are comfortable asking others to get things done. Men tend to be more task oriented and go straight to the task. They build their relationships when they are in the task or project.”

So there’s plenty of research (some of it has to be reliable) that puts the kibosh on Thatcher-cum-Haley’s toxic chauvinism. Real-world experience further eviscerates the unfortunate “Thatcherism.” Look who’s NOT talking (much):

• The first man on the moon, Neil Armstrong, didn’t talk much at all, choosing to avoid the spotlight.
• America was built by men who tamed a continent and erected infrastructure without much fuss
• Daredevil builders got on with the job without much jabber, risking life and limb in harsh conditions.
• Often employing technology from creative inventors, men hold the overwhelming majority of patents.
• Whether the result of “privilege” or not, the entrepreneurs who imagine new products and create new markets and jobs are mostly male. 
• “Barbieheimer” did well at the box office, especially the Barbie part. However, it was the introverted Oppenheimer, not known for his loquaciousness, who actually got things done, whereas Barbie blabbers until one is pink in the face.

The Iron Lady was right about many other things. For example, “The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.” One presumes her gender banter was good-natured. After all, she was very amenable to President Ronald Reagan’s leadership during their “special relationship.”

One hopes that Nikki Haley was also being good-natured, perhaps a little flippant, on a stage with seven male candidates. Still, imagine the uproar if a male candidate (or any man) said that women talk more, whereas men get things done — there would be no end to charges of sexism. Insisting it was a “joke” would not be a defense. Instead of gaining in the polls, that candidate’s campaign would crumble as quickly as support did for Howard Dean after his diabolically demented scream.

Look who’s talking: While there are constant efforts to hire and promote women in STEM fields, they tend to pursue college studies and occupations where being nurturing and talkative is a bona fide occupational requirement. Thank goodness that the brilliant nurses, dedicated teachers, and personal care aides keep talking.