The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
Senator Jim Inhofe said that President Obama needed to be mentally diagnosed for arrogance after a recent speech. You don’t need a shrink to figure it out. Having a twelve-piece orchestra strike up whenever you enter a room makes every president think he’s Frank Sinatra.
The State Department ordered U.S. citizens to depart Yemen while anti-government street rioting disrupted law and order. Mobs of Yemeni ran wild looting and burning. From a helicopter camera view it looked like six Los Angeles high schools getting out at the same time.
President Obama used an auto-pen to sign the Patriot Act into law from France despite President Bush’s concern six years ago that using an auto-pen might be ruled unconstitutional. You can’t make it up. Only people in the English-speaking world would agree to violate one-thousand-year-old privacy and property rights and then wonder if the pen’s legal.
The Los Angeles Times reported further examples of worsening economic conditions in the Golden State. Last week tens of thousands of Californians lost their free food, free medical, free rent and free gym memberships. The Supreme Court ordered them to leave prison.
U.S. Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz accused the Republicans of trying to make it a crime to be an illegal immigrant. She sees a conspiracy. First Republicans want to say that illegal aliens are illegal, then next they’re going to want to take away their voting rights.
The U.S. Postal Service just completed a survey that’ll determine how many post offices get shut down. New figures say they lose a billion a month. The Postal Service is always bragging that it’s the most profitable branch of government and now they have the numbers to back it up.
FEMA asked Congress for two billion in extra aid money due to tornadoes, flooding and blizzards. The need makes foreign aid look silly. There are five states in the Midwest who would’ve gladly housed bin Laden if they knew how fast that would get you three billion in aid.
The World Health Organization issued a medical report Tuesday saying that holding a cell phone up to your ear can cause brain cancer. It’s more dangerous for men. Holding the cell phone up to your underwear and taking a photo can end your career in Congress and in the NFL.
Congressman Anthony Weiner allegedly tweeted a below-the-waist photo of an aroused man in his underwear to his followers and couldn’t deny it was a photo of himself. Of course it was him. For decency’s sake, Democrats need to keep their pants on and their cellphone cameras off whenever they’re alone in their office looking at a spending bill.
The Supreme Court upheld Arizona’s new law punishing employers and farmers who hire illegal aliens. Every farm worker must now be able to prove he’s a U.S. citizen. If you want to know how it’ll affect prices, Gordon Liddy is urging TV viewers to sell their gold and buy lettuce.
NASA’s Space Shuttle Endeavour was scheduled to return this week, ending three decades of U.S. spaceship travel to and from the International Space Station. From now on we’ll pay the Russians to take us up there and back. There is nothing more American than foreign cab drivers.
Hillary Clinton returned from Islamabad last week and announced that Pakistan is a good partner. She’s famous for her judgment in that department. Hillary Clinton calling Pakistan a good partner means that they’re cheating with the Taliban and lying to the grand jury about it.
Wall Street fell three hundred points Wednesday on news about low home sales and poor manufacturing reports and the low number of new jobs. It’s going well. The New Dictionary of American Psychiatry states that the first step to curing depression is to re-name it a recovery.
© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton