The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
Moammar Kadaffi was killed by Libyan rebels in his hometown. There were photos posted on the Internet of his bullet-ridden body. He was so dead that the Energy Department just granted a five hundred million dollar loan to him for energy development.
The U.S. Senate drafted a bill to grant U.S. visas to foreigners if they agree to buy a house. The house must sell for at least a half a million dollars. The idea is to attract rich people to the United States to offset the rich people who are leaving the United States.
GOP candidate Herman Cain urged the U.S. to build a wall on the Mexican border just like the Great Wall of China. The idea poses engineering difficulties. We’d have to find a way to build the largest wall in history with all the workers on the south side of it.
Virginia police began looking for thieves who stole President Obama’s Teleprompter from his bus tour. The hunt is on. Police are looking for a suspect in a blue Chevy who’s constantly looking to the left and right and blaming the Republicans for blocking his jobs bill.
Oklahoma was upset by Texas Tech in Norman Saturday in a night game delayed two hours by lightning and hail the size of baseballs. There wasn’t much property damage. In this section of the country, people keep an extra car that they drive in October and April.
Major League Baseball might ban beer in clubhouses after the Boston Red Sox drank beer during games. Most players like to have a beer when the game is over. In Boston, the players considered the game over when they were one run down in the first inning.
New York’s Occupy Wall Street protesters fought each other over the half-million in donations they’ve gotten from leftist donors. The finance committee won’t give the money to their working groups. This isn’t a protest movement, it’s a communist terrarium.
President Obama got a three-point Gallup Poll bounce after Kadaffi was killed like he did when he killed bin Laden and al-Awlaki. His popularity goes up, then it goes down again. He has to kill a terrorist leader a day the way some people take cholesterol medicine.
Washington police report two men wearing George W. Bush masks robbed a bank of one hundred thousand dollars. It only got worse . The next day a guy in a Barack Obama mask walked inside the bank and demanded a million dollars for struggling homeowners.
President Obama made new rules to lower student loan payments which don’t apply to delinquent borrowers. The program is only open to people who are current on their payments. Helping people who aren’t in financial trouble is what he accused Bush of doing.
Pentax Lab in Amarillo disarmed America’s last remaining Cold War-era big nuclear bomb. Large megaton bombs are no longer needed to destroy a country. With today’s modern technology we just borrow money from them and refuse to pay them back.
Homeland Security was reported to be funding a high-tech company which makes street lights that contain twenty-four hour surveillance cameras. It has the potential of making everybody in America a reality TV star. That’s how they’re selling it to the public.
The Weather Channel showed spectacular photos of the Northern Lights painting the night sky red all the way down to Georgia Monday. Solar flares are bombarding Earth’s atmosphere. Al Gore just called George Hamilton to ask him which way we should go on this.