The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store

By Argus Hamilton ·
https://patriotpost.us/opinion/12232-from-the-comedy-store-2012-01-07

Hollywood firefighters put out fifty-two car fires that erupted in driveways the week after Christmas. No driveway was safe. It ended when the mayor ordered everyone in L.A. to take the red paper ribbon and bow off their new electric car before they turn the key.

Iran’s navy test-fired cruise missile which they said proves they control the Straits of Hormuz. To scare the West, Iran used Photoshop to make their missiles appear longer-range than they really are. It looks like Anthony Weiner found work as a consultant.

The EEOC warned employers that requiring job applicants to have a high school diploma may violate the Americans with Disabilities Act. It’s a point of pride. We want to show the world that America has the finest workforce that ever dropped out of high school.

President Obama flew back to Washington D.C. after enjoying two weeks off in Hawaii. He faces a difficult re-election battle. We live in a time where forty percent of your income goes to the government and the other sixty percent goes to your gas station.

John Edwards asked a federal judge in North Carolina for a delay in his criminal trial for money laundering last week. He’s developed a medical condition. He caught osteoporosis from some of his donors when he went to the nursing home to pick up the checks.

Mitt Romney’s real first name is unknown to Americans according to a CBS news poll Tuesday. Six percent responded by saying Mittens and six percent responded correctly by saying Willard. The remaining eighty-eight percent responded by saying no comprende.

L.A. Galaxy’s David Beckham opted to stay in L.A. and not play for a French team where he was traded. It was a no-brainer. David Beckham supports four kids in private school in L.A., which is a better deal than moving to Paris and supporting Italy, Portugal and Greece.

President Obama defied Congress and named four recess appointments without any confirmation hearings Tuesday. This is war. The good news is, the military-industrial complex can forget about Iran and get rich selling weapons to Congress and the president.

President Obama drew cheers from a gym full of Cleveland Democrats Wednesday in Ohio. He really missed the campaign trail the last four years. He thought he’d enjoy worship services every Sunday but then he realized that everyone is facing away from him.

© Copyright 2012 Argus Hamilton