The Patriot Post® · Honor the Plumbers

There are many things in American life that deserve our suspicion and contempt, but plumbers aren’t among them.

Evidently, Jimmy Kimmel disagrees. The late-night host took a shot at newly confirmed DHS Secretary Markwayne Mullin, who used to run a plumbing business, by saying, “We have a plumber now protecting us from terrorism.”

The gibe was a setup for a line about Super Mario — the Italian plumber starring in the Nintendo game — but the premise was that there was something inherently ridiculous about a plumber ascending to a position of major responsibility in Washington, D.C.

Yes, why couldn’t Markwayne Mullin have made something of himself by getting, say, a law degree rather than devoting himself to a family business involving nasty little things like pipes and joints?

One problem with calling Mullin a plumber is that it drips — no pun intended — with condescension; the other is that it significantly understates his business background, which involved leveraging a small, struggling family concern into a mini-business empire in Oklahoma, including a real-estate firm, construction company, and restaurant.

Anyone doubting the drive and acumen it takes to create and manage such enterprises should try doing it himself.

Before ascending to DHS secretary, Mullin was the only member of the U.S. Senate without a four-year college degree, which is considered a demerit by the same kind of people who tend to look down on plumbers.

But Mullin’s path is a familiar one for many Americans. He was in college when his father fell ill, and he quit his studies to take over the business. Was he supposed to shirk that responsibility and instead complete, say, a degree in sociology or ethnic studies?

In the scheme of things, that Mullin was a U.S. senator is greater reason to be suspicious or dismissive of him than that he once ran a plumbing business.

No one who has had their life disrupted by some disastrous leak is ever sad to see the plumber show up — it’s a little like how someone who has chest pains must feel when seeing a cardiologist.

Plumbing requires problem-solving and attention to detail, as well physical dexterity and stamina. A plumber often has to come up with a hypothesis about an unseen problem, fashion a way to test it with minimal disruption, and then undertake the work to fix it in close, suboptimal spaces.

Years ago, I was moving my late mother out of the house she had lived in for decades, and there was — perfect timing — a bad leak in the basement.

A plumber showed up, a guy in his 20s, and while looking around the cellar, he stopped and stared at the ceiling.

After a long, awkward silence, I asked, “What are you doing?”

“Thinking,” he replied.

He was figuring out where the pipes likely were in the ceiling, and which he should try to cut and join — a puzzle he couldn’t get wrong without inadvertently doing damage and adding to the problem.

It should never be underestimated how plumbing, and other trades, require considerable thought and analysis, even if they exist outside the college-education industrial complex. Becoming a plumber takes years of training, just not at a college campus; plumbers learn their craft during on-the-job apprenticeships.

It’s a path that leads to well-compensated work. The median salary of a plumber is about $62,000, while the median salary of all U.S. workers is roughly $49,000.

That our culture nonetheless systematically undervalues practical, hands-on skills and, instead, mindlessly valorizes the four-year college degree is a disservice to all the talented Americans who work in the trades; pushes people to get four-year degrees that they might not need and will saddle them with student debt; and makes it harder to develop the workers that manufacturers — including in the defense industry — are seeking.

In short, that we now have a cabinet secretary who is a plumber is something to be welcomed rather than mocked.

© 2026 by King Features Syndicate