The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
The White House softball team played a game against a lobbyist group for marijuana legalization. What a great match-up. Inside sources reveal that the president’s team lost by twenty-two runs, which was a huge victory for the White House softball team.
President Obama signed an order permitting eight hundred thousand young illegal aliens to remain in the U.S. He argued that as a practical matter it’s impossible to move eight hundred thousand people to another country. That is not true, Mexico did it.
President Obama went over Congress’s head to change immigration law. Only one thing explains this. Bill Clinton must have advised President Obama that only by getting impeached before the election can he rally Democrats to turn out and vote for him.
Italy’s Let’s Pizza announced it will open Let’s Pizza vending machines in the U.S. The dough is tossed, shaped, covered and cooked inside the machine in three minutes. This is just another example of a coin-operated machine doing the jobs Americans refuse to do.
Nick Wallenda crossed Niagara Falls on a high wire with millions watching live on ABC. Nobody denies he was attempting a death-defying stunt. Millions watched for that key moment when he stepped onto Canadian soil to see if he’d be able to get a job.
Daily Caller reporter Neal Munro interrupted President Obama with a question last week. That just isn’t done. Last week a waiter at a D.C. barbecue restaurant was sent to re-education camp after he asked the president if he wanted fried or beans with his ribs.
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke told Congress that he’s optimistic about the U.S. business outlook. The chairman assured lawmakers that the U.S. economy will soon come roaring back. For added emphasis, he said you can take that to one of the remaining banks.
President Obama enjoyed his one hundredth round of golf since becoming president in Chicago. His handicap is an honest number. The scorecard shows President Obama shot the same score in Chicago as he does in Washington, fourteen trillion over par.
Pew Research said Asians became the largest U.S. immigrant group this week, passing Hispanics. They’re very successful. President Obama heard the news and said that all children who arrived from Asia through no choice of their own need to pay their fair share.
Rodney King’s drowning came under suspicion when a shovel was found in the pool next to him. That figures. It’s just President Obama’s luck that after four years trying to revive the U.S. economy the only shovel-ready project turns out to be Rodney King.
The White House invoked executive privilege to guard Attorney General Eric Holder in the arms-selling to drug cartels investigation. They’ll never be able to convict him of lying to the House. The last thing he said before leaving the hearing room was that he never took steroids.
The White House asserted executive privilege to thwart the Fast and Furious inquiry. It was inevitable. Executive privilege is not in the Constitution, but it’s essential to our system of government to make sure there’s never sufficient evidence to convict anyone.
President Obama was ripped by conservatives for his decree that overturned the defeat of his Dream Act in Congress. The act allows illegal alien children to stay in the U.S. but placed a ten percent tax on tanning salons. Leave it to Democrats to subsidize brown people who want to be Americans and tax Americans who want to be brown people.
© Copyright 2012 Argus Hamilton