The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
Kim Jung Un ordered his strategic rocket scientists to battle stations. The signs of war are evident. The U.S. Navy ordered anti-missile destroyers into the Sea of Japan, and Jane Fonda just flew to North Korea to be photographed sitting on a missile.
China warned North Korea’s Kim Jung Un against launching nuclear missiles at the U.S. China’s concern is understandable. The U.S. owes China sixteen trillion dollars, and if North Korea obliterates the United States with nuclear missiles, we get off too easily.
President Obama paid taxes on six hundred grand in income. He made eight hundred grand last year and a million-seven the year before. While other politicans just talk about economic decline under President Obama, President Obama leads by example.
President Obama’s tax return showed he only paid eighteen percent of his income in taxes. He made only half the money he made last year and only a third of what he earned the year before that. You can’t make it up, even Obama is doing badly under Obama.
Jay-Z released a rap song ripping President Obama for not backing him up on his trip to Cuba. He’d just been at the White House. President Obama is a big fan of hip hop music, in fact he’s the first president to have his own rap nickname, Biggie Deficits.
The White House admitted last week that ObamaCare will be more expensive than originally projected. Also, patients won’t be given much time for their medical examination. If you want a second opinion the doctor goes out the door and comes in again.
Joe Biden declared that holding a gun feels like driving a Ferrari and likened gun rights activists to the black helicopter crowd. Eyes rolled. By now it’s no secret that Joe Biden’s golf bag isn’t carrying a full set of irons.
Harvard Law School in Cambridge announced that its spring courses include a discussion class called Understanding Obama. The class meets once a week. Not to be outdone, Barnum and Bailey’s Clown College in Sarasota offers a course called Understanding Biden.
President Obama sent no one to represent the White House at Lady Thatcher’s state funeral. It’s spiteful. Ever since Prince Harry was photographed machine-gunning the Taliban from his helicopter and partying naked in Las Vegas with beautiful chicks, President Obama has suspected deep-down that he’s no longer the people’s darling.
Senator Roger Wicker was mailed poison ricin powder addressed to him at his office in Washington. Other senators received ricin-laced letters. Terrorists use the U.S. mail whenever they want to kill someone but are not that concerned about how quickly.
CNN’s Wolf Blitzer jumped the gun reporting that the Boston bomber had been arrested. Ten minutes later the network had to announce that the report wasn’t true. CNN is now walking back its story that Boston is a small island off the coast of Kansas.
The U.S. Senate heard a bill that lets illegal aliens stay in the U.S. if they pay back taxes and pass a criminal check and have a good job. It could be a dealbreaker. Democrats are never going to vote for an immigration bill that only allows Republicans into the country.
National Public Radio got hacked by the Syrian Electronic Army Tuesday while NPR was on the air. You had to be there. An English-speaking Syrian broke onto NPR telling everyone how to live their lives and condemning Israel, and nobody noticed the difference.
© Copyright 2013 Argus Hamilton