The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
The Labor Department reported that the unemployment rate of people looking for work dropped to seven and a half percent. That’s good news. President Obama called it a step in the right direction and he encouraged more Americans to give up looking for work.
The White House was blasted for inaction during the Benghazi attack in House hearings. The terrorists overran the consulate then they overran the annex. So it does support Barack Obama’s claim during the campaign that he’s got al-Qaeda on the run.
Robert Redford is starring in The Company You Keep about the violent underground anti-war protesters in the Sixties and what became of them today. They’re still active. University of Chicago professor and former Weather Underground bomber Bill Ayers just applied to teach at U-Mass Dartmouth so he can work with any remaining subversives.
Chicago Cubs owner Tom Ricketts threatened to move the Cubs out of Wrigley Field if the city doesn’t let him have a six-thousand-square-foot scoreboard. These are the Cubs. Don’t you need to score runs before you need a six-thousand-square-foot scoreboard?
Washington Wizard Jason Collins became the first pro basketball player in history to come out of the closet and admit he is gay. All around the country, sports fans were shocked. Nobody had any idea that the Washington Wizards play pro basketball.
Arnold Schwarzenegger wrote a tell-all book detailing his longtime adulterous affair with his Los Angeles housekeeper and he’s called it Total Recall. It gets worse. The maid responded by writing a book about the affair and she’s called it Alien versus Predator.
Ohio State University presented President Obama an honorary doctorate when he spoke at their graduation ceremony. His is a singular life. Barack Obama is already America’s first black president, now he’s the only doctor in favor of ObamaCare.
President Obama praised the virtues of government in his commencement speech to Ohio State grads. He was preaching to the choir. This spring three juniors on the football team skipped their final year of eligibility to go straight to unemployment.
President Obama gave the commencement address at Ohio State on Sunday. He told the college seniors that it’s their responsibility to make the world a better place. It’s believed to be the earliest a president’s ever thrown in the towel after winning re-election.
Pfizer announced it’ll sell Viagra directly to patients on its company website and send the pills to men via overnight mail. It’s big news. The U.S. Postal Service just announced they are projecting their budget will be in the black for the first time in forty years.
Senator Saxby Chabliss scored a hole in one to win the match for the GOP and defeat President Obama and his Democratic partner Mark Warner. It won’t go unanswered. The president is reportedly so upset he ordered Homeland Security to buy up all the golf balls.
Mayor Mike Bloomberg said New York will have total Wi-Fi coverage throughout the city by July. It’s about equality. Unless everybody in New York is staring into their palms and texting while jaywalking, some neighborhoods will have a longer lifespan than others.
Mark Sanford was ordered to appear in court for violating his ex-wife’s restraining order. She was out of town and he entered their house to watch the Super Bowl with his son. He ran for Congress just to prove to the judge that he could enter the House legally.
© Copyright 2013 Argus Hamilton