The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store

By Argus Hamilton ·
https://patriotpost.us/opinion/18324-from-the-comedy-store-2013-05-25

President Obama called in the Marines to hold an umbrella over his head during his Rose Garden press conference. Let’s face it. We just don’t have the military capability to protect our Middle East diplomats and the president’s suits at the same time.

President Obama was buffeted by scandals on Benghazi, the Justice Department, and IRS targeting of opponents. It’s weird. If we didn’t know Barack Obama’s father was black and his mother was white we’d think his mother was black and his father was Nixon.

U.S. Senator John Cornyn revealed the IRS softball team canceled their game with his Senate office’s softball team amid tensions over the IRS scrutinizing conservatives. The IRS should take the softballs while they can get them. The questions only get tougher from here.

Bike to Work Day was observed in cities last Friday that asked commuters to leave their cars in the garage and bicycle to and from work. They meant well. A thousand people particpated in Los Angeles and by the end of the day they all empathized with the roadkill.

President Obama asked Congress for more money to guard U.S. embassies from attack. It’s not necessary. All we have to do is register al-Qaeda as a conservative political action group and the IRS will shut them down for their anti-U.S. government views.

A Depratment of Education survey said more and more schools are cutting gym classes. It’s to meet the new math and sciences class requirements. From now on, whenever America’s kids get fat and fall down, at least they will know the science behind it.

The Justice Department was found to have been tapping the cell phones and reading e-mails of Fox News reporters this past year. It’s damning. This proves that the White House knew the Benghazi attack was an al-Qaeda operation the minute it happened.

President Obama said he didn’t hear about the IRS scandal until it came on the news. He said he didn’t hear about the Justice Department scandal, and he didn’t hear about the Benghazi cover-up. Every seventeen years, those ciccadas drown out everything.

President Obama’s job approval ratings held steady in CNN’s latest poll. The numbers split exactly along party lines. Fifty-three percent of Americans approve of the job Obama is doing as president while the other forty-seven percent are being audited.

President Obama commented on the Oklahoma City tornado damage. He obviously has a lot on his mind now. The president said he’s looking into it, he vowed that folks will be held accountable and he declared that the American people expect better.

President Obama flies to Oklahoma City Sunday to tour the tornado damage and talk with local survivors. It’ll really help. There are three tornadoes heading for the White House from Capitol Hill next week and Obama wants to find out which room he’ll be safest in.

IRS official Lois Lerner invoked her Fifth Amendment rights and refused to testify to Congress about targeting conservatives. How embarrassing. Lerner is so mortified over having to cite the U.S. Constitution she ordered herself auditied for being a right-wing group.

The Pentagon suspended General Bryan Roberts for committing adultery. It is a miliary punishment completely apart from civilian statutes. Under U.S. military law, adultery is a felony, as opposed to the rules of the House and Senate, where it’s mandatory.

© Copyright 2013 Argus Hamilton