The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
New York mayor Michael Bloomberg was targeted by a poison ricin letter. The police sketch artsist was able to draw a composite of the suspect. It is an obese woman giving her baby bottled milk while drinking a thirty-two ounce Coke and smoking indoors.
President Obama met with the National Security Council after Russia sent Syria missiles. He’s prepared for the worst. Everywhere President Obama goes, he’s followed by a general carrying a briefcase that contains the codes to the latest scandal explanations.
Attorney General Eric Holder met with Washington reporters and said he supported press freedom but he asked that it be kept off the record. It has to be hush-hush. If he stands up for any part of the Constitution he’ll have to find a job outside Washington D.C.
The U.S. Embassy in Cairo warned U.S. tourists in Egypt not to visit the Giza pyramids. Angry street people have begun pounding on the cars of arriving Westerners. Americans will tolerate terrorists overrunning our embassies but we draw the line at car abuse.
Attorney General Eric Holder was asked by the president to investigate Eric Holder for spying on reporters. Now Eric Holder may have to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate Eric Holder for lying to Congress about it. This is what Democrats have to do to get some national name recognition when President Obama is sucking up all the oxygen.
President Obama addressed a White House conference on mental health as he pressed for more treatment. Statistics say one in four people in America is mentally imbalanced. Think of your three closest friends and if they seem okay, then you’re the one.
IRS agents who target conservative groups told Congress they likely got their orders from D.C. New groups are calling for a flat tax and elimination of the IRS. They can get right to work because they registered with the IRS under the name Third Term for Obama.
Congress heard testimony from real people who’d been targeted by the IRS because they’d sought exemption for their conservative groups. The IRS questions were so intrusive. The only organizations they didn’t red flag were the ones that have a red flag.
The IRS was found to have spent fifty million dollars of taxpayer money on lavish conferences the last two years. The conference entertainment cost ran up the bill. Throwing taxpayers to the lions was expensive, mostly because of the liability insurance.
Los Angeles fire crews battled hillside blazes near Santa Clarita Monday as Governor Jerry Brown took matters into his own hands. It could work. Jerry Brown is on the phone right now trying to persuade the fire to move to Texas for a better economy and lower taxes.
Bill Clinton will be paid five hundred thousand dollars for a speech he gives in Israel in two weeks. He gets the crowd on his side right away. Whenever Bill Clinton gives a speech in Israel he always opens by reminding everyone that his last girlfriend was Jewish.
Barack Obama named U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice national security advisor. She got away with blaming the Benghazi attack on a video and didn’t rat on anyone. Going back to their days in Chicago, she not only knows where the bodies are buried, her fingerprints are on the shovel.
UPS upgraded its security procedures and announced that customers will be required to produce a photo-ID before they will ship something. It’s an idea they took from TSA airport security. First they check your ID and then they check your package.
© Copyright 2013 Argus Hamilton