From The Comedy Store - The Patriot Post

Wall Street fell, costing investors billions in lost stock values in the same day polls showed that Hillary Clinton is the huge favorite to be the next president. It wasn’t all bad news for the Republicans. It turns out that depression is covered under Obamacare.

Bill Clinton hailed the Supreme Court striking down the Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional. It’s a bit ironic. Bill Clinton was the president who signed the Defense of Marriage Act into law, but to be fair to Bill, he was against his own marriage.

Hillary Clinton’s tenure as Secretary of State was questioned after charges surfaced she covered up sex and drug scandals at U.S. embassies. It won’t hurt her. Hillary clearly is on her way to fulfilling her and Bill’s lifetime dream of being a two-impeachment family.

The Tea Party had a big rally at the Capitol building in Washington D.C. demanding lower taxes and a smaller government. There were thousands of them. The IRS nearly launched a drone just to cut down on the manpower needed to audit them all.

President Obama’s job approval fell among Democrats in June. His drone program and NSA spying has hurt him with liberals. Democrats don’t like the new Obama who tracks down Muslim extremists, they prefer the old Obama who was a Muslim extremist.

Russia president Vladimir Putin refused the U.S. request to extradite NSA fugitive Ed Snowden and also refused to return the Super Bowl ring that he took from the owner of the New England Patriots. He’s totally in character. Russia’s national bird is a hand gesture.

President Obama got a lecture from German Chancellor Angela Merkel after it was revealed that the NSA is spying on Germans. Her confrontationn is a sign that we’ve hit bottom. You know that it’s time to get help when the country that brought us the Gestapo stages an intervention and tells you that your surveillance is out of control.

Nancy Pelosi was booed in San Francisco when she denounced Ed Snowden for exposing NSA spy programs. She misread her own city’s liberalism. San Franciso is the only city in the world that would hold a nude protest march demanding online privacy.

NSA leaker Edward Snowden slipped out of Hong Kong and flew to Russia a week after he fled Hawaii for Hong Kong. His next move is either Cuba, Venezuela, Ecuador or Iceland, no one knows. He’s the only guy in the world the NSA is not surveilling.

President Obama warned of the dangers of climate change Tuesday. It is a partisan issue. When asked if the first day of summer is the longest day of the year, the press secretary said that such wild allegations are inevitable in an era of Republican over-reach.

The White House science advisor said a War on Coal is what’s needed to fight carbon pollution. Miners should rejoice. If the War on Coal goes as well as the War on Drugs, every no-smoking section in he country will make an exception for coal-powered laptops.

Mexico theme park Parque EcoAlberto opened a twenty-minute attraction that takes people through a fake U.S. border crossing. It’s complete with wolves, fences, and angry shouts from U.S. border agents. It’s so lifelike. If you get all the way through it, they give you a three thousand dollar refund for your child tax credit and an EBT card for lunch.

The Consumer Protection Agency recalled a hundred thousand baby strollers due to a problem with the tires blowing out. Perhaps Mayor Bloomberg is right. Some infants are so fat from large, sugary soft drinks that the tires on their strollers are blowing out.

The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store