The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
Congress billed the taxpayers to fund health care insurance for themselves and their staffs. It gets them out of ObamaCare. Not only do average Americans pick up the cost of House members’ health care, all death-panel rulings apply to randomly-selected taxpayers.
The State Department shuttered U.S. embassies after the CIA overheard a threat from al-Qaeda. The terrorists said Americans are no longer safe whether we travel by land, sea or air. They’re too late–Amtrak, Carnival Cruises, and the TSA already took care of that.
The U.S. and Britain evacuated our embassies in Yemen amid the chatter by al-Qaeda of a pending attack. The sense of urgency was real. President Obama said we have got al-Qaeda on the run and if they beat us to the airport there’s no way out of Yemen.
The White House released flattering photos of Hillary Clinton having a picnic lunch with President Obama at the White House. It looked like an endorsement. Joe Biden was not left out, the next day he got to be photographed having lunch with Hillary Clinton.
Mayor Bob Filner said a reason he groped women at work is because San Diego had no sexual harassment information seminars to educate him. He blamed his downfall on a lack of bureaucracy. You have to admit there is a certain glory to dying like a Democrat.
NSA leaker Edward Snowden was granted asylum in Russia. It did cost him some dignity. Ed Snowden was allowed to stay in Russia only after agreeing to pose for photographers next to a shirtless Vladimir Putin, who held him upside down like a big fish.
The London Telegraph reports the Benghazi attack last year masked a CIA weapons supply operation to the rebels in Syria. They call themselves the Syrian Alliance. If you don’t know who the Syrian Alliance is, they’re our allies who we will be fighting next year.
President Obama arrived in Los Angeles to appear on the Tonight Show Tuesday. His arrival halted traffic during rush hour while his limo and police escort glided up the San Diego Freeway. Onlookers just assumed that O.J.‘s parole had gone all the way through.
President Obama went on the Tonight Show and took questions from the host on important national security issues. He insisted there’s no spying by the NSA on American phone calls. It got a bigger laugh than anything Jay said in the monologue.
Seattle told city workers to stop using the word citizen and use the word resident to accommodate illegal aliens. That’s as far north as they can survive. An illegal alien once made it into Canada but he sprained his ankle and was buried by paperwork at the hospital.
Alex Rodriguez was suspended for next season due to his connection to Biogenesis Lab. He will forfeit his forty million dollar salary next year, but he’ll collect the seventy million left on his contract. The idea is to teach kids once and for all that crime doesn’t pay.
The New York Yankees reported a huge spike in ticket demands for Alex Rodriguez’s return-home game in Yankees Stadium. He’s playing much better. His first game back he hit a bloop single to left, and if he had been on steroids, he would have flied out.
George W. Bush is fine after a stent procedure to free a clogged artery. The doctors blew up a balloon where his artery is clogged and inserted a stent to keep it propped open. He’s such an exercise demon the Democrats are unable to blame it on Bush.
© Copyright 2013 Argus Hamilton