The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
House Republicans met in the Capitol to strategize in the chamber guarded by a statue of Will Rogers. It’s only right. No one told national jokes better than Will Rogers, and for the last week no one’s been a better national joke than House Republicans.
President Obama ordered Joe Biden to negotiate with Congress and save the country from default. The president didn’t want to be seen as flexible. The next day the Washington Redskins dropped Washington from their name because it was too embarrassing.
President Obama placed a call to House Speaker John Boehner and they made reported progress. It’s embarrassing. In the last forty years there have been seventeen U.S. govenment shutdowns, the longest was the four years that Jimmy Carter was president.
Governor Andrew Cuomo opened the Statue of Liberty to the public Monday. He said the state of New York will pay its eighty thousand dollar a day operating expense. The statue was a gift from France and the surprise is that both arms aren’t raised in the air.
Detroit former Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was sentenced to twenty-six years in prison for crimes of graft and corruption. He caught a break at his sentencing. The judge ruled that the number of years Kilpatrick lived in Detroit will count as time already served.
Libyan prime minister Ali Zidan was kidnapped and held for ransom by terrorists. His release was finally arranged. If our president was kidnapped by terrorists for ransom money, our government would have to ask if they would accept a post-dated check.
Toyota was found not liable for brake failure in a wrongful death suit in Los Angeles. It allows the car company to move forward. Toyota is making a high-powered electric car, but it doesn’t become fully electrified until the front fender hits the light pole.
India’s eastern coast was clobbered by Tropical Cycone Phailin on causing power blackouts throughout South Asia. Much of India lost its electricity and its phone service. The storm left over three hundred million Americans without tech support.
Governor Jerry Brown signed eleven gun control bills, tightening rules on ownership, storage and ammunition in California. This is way off base. Californians know from personal experience that guns don’t kill people, husbands who come home early kill people.
Christmas Eve air travel reservations were reported way up by airlines and back to normal. The Bible says the infant Jesus was surrounded in the stable by sheep and pigs and cows. We commemorate the event on Christmas Day by inviting our relatives.
Rory McElroy broke up with tennis star Caroline Wozniacki after he played golf with Bill Clinton in Ireland. He’d rather work on his golf and date around. So you see, it doesn’t take a government ad campaign to persuade young men to enroll in Clinton Care.
The Nobel Prize for Economics was awarded to three U.S. professors for discoveries that changed how firms invest long-term. The economists devised a formula for strategic investments which ensures a big surplus to win the award. President Obama finished last.
Spirit Halloween online vendor reported huge sales of Halloween masks, Halloween costumes and Halloween party favors this month. Their number-one seller is a room-sized House of Horror guaranteed to frighten people. It’s a scale model of Washington D.C.
© Copyright 2013 Argus Hamilton