From The Comedy Store - The Patriot Post

President Obama congratulated the Boston Red Sox after they won the World Series. He said if they like their current World Series trophy they get to keep their current World Series trophy. Suddenly it looks like the Cardinals still are in this thing.

NSA former monitor Ed Sbowden released evidence that the NSA monitored German, Spanish, Mexican and Brazilian leaders. Some people have a lot of nerve. The U.S. government indicted Ed Snowden for spying and stealing the data we stole through spying.

Double Down is a new book revealing Joe Biden was nearly replaced by Hillary as VP last year. A threat by comedians saved him. Someone showed Obama how easy it is to switch Jimmy Carter jokes to Barack Obama jokes if he won’t give us Joe Biden every night.

The Washington D.C. City Council ordered the police to set up prostitution-free zones in ten city blocks during major U.S. government events and protest rallies. You can’t make it up. Washington is so corrupt we just rope off areas where people actually follow the law.

The White House insisted President Obama didn’t know about the health care website mess or the NSA spying on allies. He also didn’t know about Benghazi or the IRS targeting the Tea Party. It just proves the truth in the saying that ignorance is re-election.

The White House admitted that ObamaCare will be more expensive than it was originally projected. Also, patients won’t be given much time for their medical examination. If you want a second opinion, the doctor goes out the door and comes in again.

Huffington Post said there are seventy thousand Americans over one hundred years old. Many of the men were lawyers, stockbrokers and government officials. It’s clear that golf needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our country’s most useless citizens.

The NSA chief told Congress that NSA wiretaps are done only on terrorist suspects. That’s true to a point. If you call the NSA, the telephone recording tells you to press one to listen to the French leaders, press two to listen to Germany’s leaders, and if you have any dirt on the Republicans, please hold and the president will be right with you.

Barack Obama pushed U.S. economic cooperation with Mexico to go with immigration reform. The two nations have always swapped capital resources and labor. It’s a little known fact that Battle of the Alamo was just a dispute between dry wall contractors.

Green Bay Packer Aaron Rodgers broke his collarbone against Chicago and was lost. His fans are furious. They were told if you like your quarterback you get to keep your quarterback, but now they learn it’s only if the collarbone was grandfathered in.

Wall Street titan Steven Cohen agreed to a plea deal with U.S. prosecutors for insider trading on the stock exchange. He will pay a two-billion-dollar fine from the ten billion dollars he’s made in the market. The idea is to teach him that crime doesn’t pay.

NSA whistleblower Ed Snowden declared in Moscow that telling the truth should not be a crime. His leaks were embarrassing but some believe you shouldn’t go to jail for embarrassing the United States. If that were true, Joe Biden would be serving life in prison.

The Pentagon cleaned up a security breach involving President Obama’s command over national defense. It’s vital. Everywhere the president goes, he is followed by a U.S. general who carries a briefcase containing the codes to the latest ObamaCare explanation.

The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store