The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
President Obama said he’s sorry Americans are losing their health care plans under Obamacare after he said they could keep them. He’s in a tough spot. PETA’s not going to like it next week when President Obama decides to pardon Obamacare and eats the turkey.
Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley got big laughs at the CMA Awards singing about the hemorrhoids they got waiting for ObamaCare’s website to work. Be glad. Those hemorrhoids might turn out to be their last line of defense against the IRS audit tomorrow.
Tom Cruise caused an uproar saying his work as a movie actor is as tough as a soldier’s job in Afghanistan. It’s just not comparable. If you have a scheduling conflict on any particular day in Afghanistan the director of the Taliban doesn’t shoot around you.
President Obama said he looks forward to working with Congress in an air of bipartisan cooperation. Good luck with that. If compromise in the capital were at all possible, Washington would keep the Redskins nickname and change their logo to a potato.
Germany was rated the most popular country in the world in the BBC’s annual international survey of people’s favorite countries. Japan was the second favorite. It just shows that if you build quality cars it goes a long way toward making up for old war crimes.
Secretary of State John Kerry failed to get Iran to reduce its nuclear capacity as war tensions heightened. He’s been to war, fought a war, denounced the war, then ran for president as a war hero. John Kerry fought in Vietnam for your right to be strange.
France honored French Army soldiers who drove al-Qaeda out of Mali this summer. A century of training paid off. When the French soldiers threw their arms in the air the al-Qaeda terrorists thought they were pointing at drones and ran for their lives.
Silk Road website operator Curtis Green pleaded guilty to dealing billions in illegal drugs online. He utilized untraceable currency and devised a network that made his customers untrackable. If the Democrats ever want to win another federal election, they will parole this guy and have him run the Obamacare website for a piece of the action.
President Obama saluted the oldest World War II veteran Rich Overton who is one hundred and seven. He said his secret is whiskey in his coffee and twelve cigars a day. The moment the first lady turned her back, he slipped President Obama a candy bar.
Egypt put Mohammed Morsi on trial for insulting the presidency. He issued laws by decree, ignored the constitution and he blamed his predecessor for the economy. Most impressive is how it took Egypt only a year to establish an American-style democracy.
Dick Cheney said he agreed with Bill Clinton who said President Obama must keep his promises. This didn’t go unanswered. Bill Clinton was so flattered by the unexpected endorsement that he agreed with Dick Cheney that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction.
The Girl Scouts of America announced that the organization is three hundred fifty million in debt. Blame it on the curriculum changes. For one hundred years the Girl Scouts learned woodcraft and now they give merit badges for government administration.
Mexico taxed soft drinks and junk food to battle the obesity epidemic. The U.N. says Mexico is the world’s most obese nation. Last night, U.S. Border patrol agents pulled over a motor home on the Ventura Freeway and found it packed with two Mexicans.
© Copyright 2013 Argus Hamilton